Gathering of Needs/Transcript (2024)

List of Transcripts

Pre-Show[]

MATT: Hello, everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons.

ALL: (garbled) We play Dungeons & Dragons!

LIAM: We play it.

MATT: Occasionally. (laughter)

MATT: But before we jump into tonight's episode, we do have some announcements to get through, beginning with our sponsor of tonight, Czepeku. Marisha!

TRAVIS: (whispers) Czepeku.

MARISHA: With more than 4,000 hand-drawn fantasy battle maps.

TRAVIS: Wow.

MARISHA: Czepeku is the best Patreon page to find maps for D&D, Pathfinder, and any other tabletop RPG.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

MARISHA: Add depth to your adventure with multi-level dungeons and terrain to explore that pair wonderfully with most virtual platforms, and you can also pair it with this.

TRAVIS: What is that?

MATT: What?

LAURA: Oh yeah.

MARISHA: Mm. Maps by Czepeku.

TRAVIS: No.

MARISHA: For her. (laughter)

MATT: Oh no.

TRAVIS: No!

MARISHA: The new fictional fragrance that'll make her say, "What the hell does this have to do with maps?"

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MARISHA: And, "Why does this exist?" I could wax poetic about how this perfume would bring world peace, but I'd rather let my muse Ashley Johnson do it for you.

TRAVIS: Oh!

ASHLEY: I'm her muse. It's me.

LIAM: Ah.

MARISHA: Play the fil-m, Kyle.

TRAVIS: Fil-m? ♪ (subdued yet dramatic instrumental music) ♪

ASHLEY: (V.O.) Lost in the labyrinthine streets of an unfamiliar village, I encroached upon a crossroads. Enchanted forest or fetid swamp? Why not let fate decide with maps by Czepeku. (V.O.) Desperate for guidance, I stumbled into a quaint shop and begged the musty old proprietor for a map. Czepeku. (V.O.) His eyes, clouded with age, peered into my soul as his clammy hands passed me a battle map so beautiful I wept. Then, I thought about bread. I unfurled the visage, its one-inch grid offering hope against the swallowing darkness. Czepeku. (V.O.) Maps by Czepeku For Her. Available wherever cryptic lady fragrances are sold.

MARISHA: Thank you so much. We just submitted that to North by Northwest.

ASHLEY: Yes.

MARISHA: Fingers crossed.

MATT: Incredible.

MARISHA: Come on, festival season. Check out the Czepeku Patreon, the $5 Master Cartographer membership.

TRAVIS: Carto--

MARISHA: Tartographer. (laughter)

MARISHA: The $5 Master Cartographer membership tier that unlocks their entire map archive with new packs added every week. Or level up to the $10 tier and get your hands on the dynamic animated versions of Czepeku's battle maps. Matt, map to you.

MATT: Thank you so much.

TRAVIS and LAURA: Oh yes.

MATT: Incredible film, both of you.

TRAVIS: North by Northwest.

MARISHA: Thank you, thank you.

MATT: What a way to go out.

TRAVIS: It smells like rosewater.

MATT: Our next sponsor is TCGplayer. Critters, get ready for mayhem on May 17th. TCGplayer is hosting their most hardcore event of the season with a festival of deals on all your favorite trading card games. Shoppers will receive 10% store credit back on all products, with TCGplayers subscribers earning even more. Plus there will be limited time treasure trove deals throughout the day.

MARISHA: Whoa!

MATT: But that's not all. There's a sweepstakes giveaway with a $500 TCGplayer gift card grand prize, and the winner will also receive a set of Critical Role's Vox Machina and Mighty Nein Universes Challenger Decks.

LAURA: Woo!

ASHLEY: Yes! (laughter)

TRAVIS: How are you?

MATT: I don't know where this came from, but I'm going with it. The sweepstakes close at 8:00 a.m. Eastern on May 17th. So head over to TCGplayer.com and enter now! Thank you TCGplayer for sponsoring this episode.

TALIESIN: Thank you.

LAURA: TCG! That's great. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Nice!

TRAVIS: I want to go down that road a little further.

ASHLEY: Saturday morning cartoons.

MATT: I should get that checked out. All right, Travis, you're up next.

TRAVIS: Yes! Friendly reminder that tickets for our Bells Hells live show at the Greek Theatre go on sale next week! (cheering)

MATT: Oh my goodness.

TRAVIS: A friendly reminder that to guarantee access to the Beacon presale, you must sign up for a monthly or annual membership no later than tonight at 11:59:59 p.m. Pacific. But if you miss the Monday presale, do not fret. We will have tickets available for everyone the very next day on May 21st. If you missed all of these details, please reference critrole.com/events for all of the saucy details.

MARISHA: Ooh!

MATT: Getting quite saucy.

MARISHA: Ooh, we're saucy!

TRAVIS: Saucy.

ASHLEY: Saucy.

MATT: Liam, you're up next.

LIAM: Let's talk about some books.

LAURA: Yeah!

MATT: Yeah!

LIAM: Have some exciting--

LAURA and MARISHA: Baby!

TRAVIS: I went there too. (laughter)

TALIESIN: If I had, it would--

LIAM: I have some exciting news from Dark Horse. (oohing)

LIAM: The final two installments of our Mighty Nein Origin series are at hand. The first one.

LAURA: (gasps) Oh look at this, yeah!

TRAVIS: Yo, get out of here!

LIAM: Beauregard Lionett graphic novel. It's available now, right now!

LAURA: So good!

TRAVIS: Just in case the lights hit it.

LIAM: Oh, oh!

LAURA: I thought that blood was splattered on it, but it's just the art.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LIAM: It's mine, I was so taken aback by it that my nose started bleeding on the cover. Matt and Marisha-- (laughter)

LIAM: -- join writer Mae Catt to unveil Beau's backstory.

ASHLEY: Yes!

LIAM: With art by Guilherme Balbi, colors by Diana Sousa, and letters by Ariana Maher, with Balbi and Sousa illustrating the cover.

MATT: Yeah!

MARISHA: Love Mae Catt.

LIAM: You can find it now at your local comic shop.

LAURA: That's now!

LIAM: Here you go.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: She's just fighting in a vineyard, like you do.

TALIESIN: Could be grape juice, could be blood.

MARISHA: Yeah, just punching grapes.

TALIESIN: You don't know.

LIAM: That ain't all. I also have Caduceus Clay.

LAURA: Hey!

LIAM: This is the last in the series and it's coming up next.

LAURA: Look at this buddy!

LIAM: So you can find this one at comic shops on June 19th. The inside of this book is beautiful.

TALIESIN: Oh yeah.

LIAM: Beautiful. But that's all the details I can give you.

TALIESIN: I can take that.

TRAVIS: The contents? It's good stuff.

MARISHA: Hey.

LAURA: Don't give anything away.

ASHLEY: I'm not.

ROBBIE: No spoilers, no spoilers. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Right there, right there, look at that. (exclaiming)

LIAM: You can do this yourselves.

ROBBIE: That's a spread.

LIAM: You get the book and you look inside it instead of our watch along.

ASHLEY: (excited grunt) (laughter)

TALIESIN: We're going to do a Read-Along where we just go--

ASHLEY: There!

TRAVIS: I'm going to hold up a mirror.

TALIESIN: -- ugh!

MATT: Ashley-- (laughter)

MATT: Ashley's feeling a way!

ASHLEY: I'm feeling a type of way. And I'm going to leave it alone.

MATT: Laura, you're up next.

LAURA: Oh, yes. Speaking of--

TRAVIS: Hi, baby.

LAURA: Hi, baby.

TRAVIS: Hi.

MARISHA: Aww.

LAURA: Speaking of Bells Hells-- We weren't. (laughter)

LAURA: Guess what's happening? We're getting, you guys, we're getting a gorgeous, limited edition signed art print available for pre-order right now.

MARISHA: Yes!

LAURA: Right now through May 31st, you guys!

MATT: Nailed it.

TALIESIN: Nailed it.

ROBBIE: Mm-hmm.

ASHLEY: There it is.

LAURA: The illustration is the same style as our Vox Machina and our Vighty-- Oh, f*ck. Our Mighty Nein fine art prints.

ASHLEY: That's hard to say.

LAURA: By the same fantastic artists, Matteo Scalera and Moreno Dinisio.

LIAM: Amazing duo.

LAURA: They are so talented, and the prints are printed on high-quality art paper-- Stop it. (laughter)

LAURA: Each one that you pre-order will be signed by the cast.

TRAVIS: That's us!

LAURA: That's us!

MATT: That is us!

ASHLEY: Yay!

TRAVIS: Just like the first two campaigns.

LAURA: Yeah. So the pre-orders are available now in the US Critical Role shop.

TRAVIS: We've seen them, they're real cool.

LAURA: CritRole shop. I don't, shop.critrole.com, that's the website.

MATT: There you go!

ASHLEY: There it is!

LAURA: Also, you guys, the non-signed versions will still be available for anybody that doesn't want, you know, to get our grubby fingers on them. That's going to be later on in the year. So just wait for them.

TRAVIS: My fingers are not grubby.

MATT: There you go.

LAURA: My fingers are--

LIAM: Laura eats a lot of Cheetos, so you don't want the dust.

LAURA: Oh yeah, you might get a nice smear on there.

MARISHA: Sell for more.

ASHLEY: Smear.

MATT: Indeed.

MARISHA: Like the shirts you sit on.

LAURA: Yep. (laughter)

MATT: All righty, folks.

TRAVIS: No! Let it die.

MARISHA: Hi. (laughs)

MATT: "For the Queen" is here.

TRAVIS: Let's hear it "For the Queen"!

ALL: Yes!

MATT: We're super thrilled to have made a stunning second edition of "For The Queen," by award-winning game designer Alex Roberts. This is such an amazing game. I love it so much and many of us here love it, aside from me, and you will love it, too, if you haven't already! We're so excited to bring this enhanced version to all these new players and the updated version to players of old. For those who don't know, "For the Queen" is a collaborative storytelling card game where you each answer questions to weave a narrative of love, betrayal, doubt, devotion towards the queen as your characters accompany her on a journey. Those dynamics and unique things begin to unfold as you play and decide on who you are and how you connect to the story. Will you follow a cyber queen lording her virtual will over the scintillating neon grid?

ROBBIE: Yes.

MATT: A rugged pirate queen sailing the high seas for glory?

TRAVIS: Arr!

MATT: Or something entirely of your own imagining.

TRAVIS: The Pirate Queen!

LAURA: Can you date the queen?

MATT: You can definitely decide to do that. Sometimes many of you can, and that leads to even more tension.

LAURA: Ooh!

MATT: But you can find "For the Queen" today at CritRole, online shops, and other friendly local game stores, plus at Darrington Press Guild stores, you'll find exclusive promo cards featuring the princesses of Queen by Midnight reimagined as crowned queens. (exclaiming) They're super pretty.

ROBBIE: Pick your favorite.

MARISHA: "For the Queen by Midnight"!

TALIESIN: Boss No! Boss No!

LAURA: Give me, give me, give me, give me.

MATT: It's super cool.

TALIESIN: Oh my!

TRAVIS: The art is badass!

MATT: It's really amazing art.

MARISHA: Look at her.

MATT: They all will lend their own narratives, I'm sure uniquely, so yeah, go for it! Mash up our games! We dare you.

TRAVIS: We dare you.

MATT: Actually, I dare you.

TRAVIS: Oh!

TALIESIN: Oh.

ASHLEY: Oh!

LAURA: Freya.

MATT: If you love to play games online, "For the Queen" is also available virtually over at Roll20.

ASHLEY: Whoa!

MATT: It's an actually a really elegant conversion that'll be perfect for playing with your long-distance friends. So please be sure to check that out as well. With that, I believe, our announcements have come to a conclusion.

TRAVIS: It can't be, I need hot boi.

ASHLEY: No, no, no, no, no.

TRAVIS: Hot boi in my life.

LAURA: Hot boi!

MATT: So with that--

ASHLEY: Please.

LIAM: Yeah!

MATT: Let's go ahead and jump into tonight's episode of Critical Role.

LIAM: Yeah!

♪ Critical ♪
♪ Critical ♪
♪ It's Thursday ♪
♪ It's Thursday night! ♪

ASHLEY: ♪ One-by-one, we climb until we reach the top. ♪
♪ Two-by-two, we fall. ♪

LAURA: ♪ Will we meet our end or meet our destiny? ♪
♪ Hold your breath and roll! ♪

MATT: How do you want to do this?

ALL: ♪ It's Thursday night ♪
♪ All ye Critters, come join us ♪
♪ It's time to continue our plight ♪
♪ There is magic and mystery ♪
♪ Who knows what will happen? ♪
♪ He might! ♪
♪ But one thing's for sure, ♪
♪ We never give up on the fight! ♪

LIAM: ♪ From the healer ♪
♪ To the renegade ♪

MATT: ♪ We all share the same goal ♪

MATT and TALIESIN: ♪ Adding more allies ♪
♪ Taking more chances ♪

SAM: ♪ Hold your breath and roll ♪

MARISHA: You can certainly try.

ALL: ♪ It's Thursday night ♪
♪ All ye Critters, come join us ♪
♪ It's time to continue our plight ♪
♪ It's Thursday night. ♪
♪ There is magic and mystery ♪
♪ From darkness, our friendship will rise ♪
♪ But one thing's for sure: ♪
♪ We never give up on the fight ♪
♪ Oh, get ready, ♪
♪ Get ready, ♪
♪ It's Thursday night! ♪
(flames whooshing)

Part I[]

MATT: And welcome back. So, last we left off, Bells Hells, after returning from Ruidus and reuniting with their old friend, Dorian Storm--

LAURA: Woohoo!

TRAVIS: Hey.

MATT: -- are in the final throes of gathering what information, power, and allies they and the rest of Exandria can before trying to stop Ludinus Da'leth and the Ruby Vanguard through their alliance with the entities that control Kreviris on the surface of Ruidus from releasing Predathos, the god eater. As such, you've learned a little bit of information about Ludinus not being on Ruidus at the moment, and it seems has had some dealings with an ancient ruin of one of the many fallen cities from the realm of history known as the Age of Arcanum, particularly a place called Aeor. Some of you may have heard this a little bit in passing history, but more information can be gleaned. But what you do know is it apparently contains some ancient magical technology that is both dangerous as it's being understood and is seemingly being funneled and repurposed through a lot of what the Ruby Vanguard is doing both here on Exandria and on the moon above. So Ludinus is apparently present and having dealings within these ruins, last you heard. After speaking with Keyleth and the Exandrian Accord, the alliance of all those who are wanting to stop those responsible for this, you were given, through a series of connections, an escort who had some experience of these ruins, a mage of somewhat schlubby persona, but seemed to be somewhat knowledgeable in their connection with the Cobalt Soul. They had a lead on someone who is a member of the Cerberus Assembly who might know exactly where in these ruins, or at least lead you in the direction of these ruins where Ludinus might be. Then you headed towards the city, through teleportation, the city of Zadash in the Dwendalian Empire. These streets seemed to have sustained some recent damage and there was a sense of tension in the air of some recent dangers that seemed to have swept through. But as you plug through the streets, getting to the exterior of an interesting little bookshop and trinket shop known as Chastity's Nook, selling all sorts of knickknacks, decor, and very wonderful smutty romantic books. You were led to the back room, where one of the more recent employees, Erma, had been sitting and reading a book. As this escort mage had spoke a phrase that "Bren sends his regards," immediately tension in the room built on what seemed to be a rapid-paced wizard battle, all of you rushing in and throwing whatever you can to subdue this figure. In the midst of this fray, your escort, this mage, threw down an anti-magic shell, which dispelled the illusion on your target and themself, revealing themself to be a dark elf mage of some esteem, and your target being an individual known as Astrid Becke, a member of the Cerberus Assembly and the Archmage of Civil Influence. Here in this tense moment, as you hold the Archmage back and this dark elf who named themselves Essek Thelyss, an enemy of Ludinus Da'leth, you are in the right place to commence an interrogation and discover where you are to tread next.

Here, as Astrid is held somewhat tense and, realizing in the moment, at your disposal. Essek looks amongst the people in the room around him. "Well, friends, what do we need to know beyond where he may be doing his dealings? Astrid, do you know where Ludinus is? Do you know what he's up to? Do you know how we can find him?" As she sits there, held at bay by a number of you, she grits her teeth for a bit. "I know Ludinus and his cohorts have been working on something in private, reallocating resources and dealing directly with foreign factions in secret. Now, I kept my nose mostly clean of the entire affair and would never have expected his plotting to be so universally disastrous. Knowing the world's sight now falls squarely upon the Assembly following the solstice, that is why I went into hiding. I am not in league with him. I am not part of his plan. I just do not wish to be imprisoned for something I was not a part of. So," she looks up at Essek. "It seems I now join you in living as a fugitive, am I not?" He just clenches his jaw for a moment. (Essek) "I will ask you again. What do you know of Ludinus' plot and where his dealings are within the ruins?" She eyes across all of you. (Astrid) "I was not part of his plan, so I do not know specifically, but I know his research has burrowed deep within Eiselcross. Imperial control of the site has been nearly absolute as of late, causing tensions with the Dynasty, and those relations go sour once again. But it seems little care was given when compared to the scope of his plot. My place within the Assembly allowed me a little clearance to inquire to his work, but I do know that he had spent the better part of the last five years within and around the Genesis Ward and beyond. I managed to get a name once from an associate who took a shine to me within his project's outskirts. He mentioned something called the Occultus Thalamus."

LAURA: Occultus.

MARISHA: Occultus.

TRAVIS: Thalamus?

MARISHA: Thalamus?

MATT: "I am uncertain what that means directly. This individual seemed spooked he had even let it slip."

MARISHA: That's a location?

TRAVIS: Or something in the Genesis Ward.

MARISHA: Something in the Genesis Ward? Okay.

MATT: "So, if you're going to look for him or those who work with him, that might be the place to start."

TRAVIS: I don't want to pry. First of all, Essek, may I say, great look.

LAURA: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Are you of the Dy-- Dynasty?

MATT: (Essek) "Heh. Not anymore. I am myself."

MARISHA: She said you were a fugitive. (laughs) That's so exciting!

MATT: He shoots a stare at Astrid and Astrid just smiles back with a sh*t-eating grin.

MARISHA: What did you do?

TRAVIS: Keyleth mentioned there might be some unsavory types that she was converting. I just didn't know we'd be in a league with one so soon.

MARISHA: I love it!

TALIESIN: Technically, we're unsavory types, but I feel like maybe that's pushing it a bit. Imogen, do you want to prod anything?

MARISHA: Well, it seems like she's going to just tell us, right? You're just going to tell us.

TALIESIN: Well, both of them, really.

MARISHA: We're not judgy. Look at us.

LAURA: (laughs) We're not judgy.

MATT: "I am not the target of this interrogation."

TRAVIS: No, no, no, no, no. This is just now getting comfortable.

MARISHA: We're just talking.

TRAVIS: We're just sharing.

ASHLEY: Whoa! We're just getting to know you.

ROBBIE: (whispers) Fearne.

LIAM: Can you help--

ROBBIE: Is this beautiful purple man someone you met on your adventures while I was away?

ASHLEY: No. I never met this--

LAURA and MARISHA: No.

LIAM: No.

ASHLEY: Never met this beautiful creature.

ROBBIE: You don't know him either?

ASHLEY: No. You're floating.

LAURA: No, no.

LAURA: Wait, is he?

ASHLEY: Aren't you?

MATT: He looks down, and he's about an inch and a half off the ground.

LAURA: Even with the antimagic--

ASHLEY: Oh.

LAURA: -- field still going on?

MATT: Actually, no. With that field, he would be on the ground.

ASHLEY: You just have this vibe about you. (laughter)

ASHLEY: It's amazing.

MATT: No, with the Antimagic Field, he would be on the ground.

LIAM: When he's not floating--

ASHLEY: No, we didn't meet him.

LIAM: -- he's super short.

LAURA: (laughs)

LAURA: I don't think I can pry into their minds without magic available.

TALIESIN: That's fair.

LIAM: Can you help me understand some basics? I was under the impression that the Assembly had withdrawn to the north. Is there still a presence here or--? This is addressed to Essek.

MATT: Yeah. Oh, to Essek.

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Essek, "(sighs) To be entirely honest, I've been not the focus of following their threats. That was my partner's particular interest. There had been some divisions internally that had been rumored about. Some of the old guard, if you will, seemingly swayed some of the newer blood, though perhaps this one here has had enough of the wizard's tumultuous past to want to buy into it." You see Astrid just shakes her head a little bit. "As far as what I've heard, all of the Assembly after the solstice vanished."

MARISHA: Wow.

LAURA: Wow.

MATT: "It is believed that some work and operate within the Vanguard. Others I'm sure are either helping in secret, trying to avoid persecution, like this one, by association."

LAURA: Are they all as powerful as Ludinus?

MATT: You see Astrid go, "In their own ways, maybe." Essek goes, "No."

LAURA: (laughs)

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MATT: "Not like him. He is a particularly focused individual. It's interesting. In politics, it's the ones that are holding quiet power that I worry about the most, the hardest to read. I believe many of us who have had our eye on Ludinus for a while are feeling quite frustrated that we didn't pay him as much mind as we had thought we should."

MARISHA: But it must be a little validating though, right? You were right!

MATT: "It is very valid. I just wish it was-- I just wish it felt better."

MARISHA: Hmm.

TRAVIS: And, sorry, I know this is-- Astrid? I know we're focusing on this interrogation, but just, Essek, you're of the Dynasty, but not anymore, you're just on your own. When I was in the Empire, they were at war all the time. You guys have a history, it seems, but you're not actively enemies?

MATT: This is to Essek?

TRAVIS: Yes.

MATT: Yeah. "There was a peace called a little over seven years ago, and while there has been no active warfare and there have been some steps towards better relations, it didn't seem to stop the machinations in the background. The war just went quieter and more in the shadows, if you will. A lot of that focus was up north, where we are going."

LAURA: Oh.

TRAVIS: Is there any chance the Dynasty is going to show up up north?

MATT: He looks over to Astrid and Astrid goes, "I don't know. It's not my speciality. I've just been helping work with the people in the Empire, civil influence and all."

TALIESIN: What is your speciality?

MATT: "My specialty is helping the king and his court present and sculpt the opinion of its citizens."

TALIESIN: Ah, marketing. Okay.

LAURA and MARISHA: (laugh)

TALIESIN: So I guess, I don't know, coming from my background, my immediate question is, what did you think you were going to get out of him? Not even necessarily personally, but, I don't know. What the f*ck was he offering? What the f*ck did you even think he was offering before everything went to sh*t with Ludinus?

MATT: "Well, Ludinus didn't offer me anything. I've been in my position for a number of years. He's just one of the eight of us, though the one with the most history."

TRAVIS: Ludinus didn't ask for your help?

MATT: "No. I think he knew better. You have to understand, when all of this happened, I think those who are aligned with him have been aligned for a while. The rest of us were left in a lurch with all eyes looking upon us. That is why I flew the coop, as they say."

LIAM: How long were you in the club?

MATT: "In the club? In the Assembly?"

LIAM: At the top.

MATT: "Better part of about seven-ish years now."

LIAM: Spend a decent amount of time with Ludinus?

MATT: "Strangely, no. People assume the Assembly is a very tight-knit group. Truth is, we all exist, smiling and dealing with handshakes, but everyone's working against each other."

LIAM: So no insight on what makes him tick or any soft underbelly.

MATT: "I think that's what scares me the most about him. He's always been gentle and present, and amiable, diplomatic. I think that's why the court has trusted him as long as they have. But I think that's why those of us who have dealt with the worst Exandria has to offer can sense-- Can sense what's false under that mask."

LAURA: Who was closest to him within the Assembly?

MATT: "Well, it was my former master, but he was put in prison."

TRAVIS: He still in prison?

MATT: "I certainly hope so, for all of our sakes."

LIAM: You took his spot at the table?

MATT: "I did, though it seems that (chuckles) seven years is not enough to gain the respect of those around you."

TALIESIN: Is he going to come looking for you?

MATT: "Not unless you say anything, I hope."

TRAVIS: Yeah. He said you were worried about being arrested. Who would arrest you?

MATT: "Well, the rest of the empire's not happy that the most powerful mages have absconded and essentially set the rest of Exandria on this path."

TRAVIS: You're hiding in a bookshop.

MATT: "What of it?"

TRAVIS: You want to come to Eiselcross with us?

MATT: "Absolutely not."

MARISHA: (gasps) Why not? It would be so fun.

TRAVIS: Yeah, it's probably like very tropical. There's like sun. You could use it.

MATT: She looks up at Essek. "These are the sort of companions you keep these days?" Essek goes, "Not companions. I am to escort them as a favor. That is all. So we are travel companions."

MARISHA: Still companions.

TALIESIN: Just because someone's funny doesn't mean they're not very dangerous.

MATT: "Oh, I see there is capability within all of you and you wouldn't be sent on this mission that you are on if, well, the Voice of the Tempest didn't feel confident in your abilities."

TRAVIS: Oh.

MATT: You see Astrid give him the--

MARISHA: She knows.

MATT: (Astrid) "So they work at the behest of the Voice. Interesting." (Essek) "Is there anything else you wish to say for yourself, Astrid, before we leave you to your (chuckles) upgrade in life?"

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: She just clenches her teeth a bit and her fingers flex and you can see she's feeling gently for any flicker of magic returning while keeping focused around you. (Astrid) "I am not your enemy. I am not with him. Or I would not be here and I would not be so quick to bend the knee in these circ*mstances. It's only because of an old friend. But if all this goes by and you succeed, I just want you to share how helpful I was. I did not stand in your way."

LAURA: Is there any other help you can give us? Any hint that will help us in our fight against Ludinus?

LIAM: Because there's a storm coming and it's going to rain on you just as much as us.

MATT: "Oh, I'm aware."

TRAVIS: We're also visual learners. So you know, flip books, puppet shows, anything that can help really just drive it home.

LIAM: We're big fans of puppets here.

MARISHA: Mm.

MATT: She looks through her mind for a second and looks up at Essek. Make a group persuasion check for me.

TRAVIS: f*ck yes.

MARISHA: Eyy.

TRAVIS: First roll.

MARISHA: Hey!

TRAVIS: Whoever rolls lowest has to leave. (laughter)

TRAVIS: All right, I'll see y'all later.

LAURA: (goofy, excited laugh)

TRAVIS: 18.

TALIESIN: New die.

MATT: 18.

MARISHA: 18.

MATT: 18.

MARISHA: f*ck yes.

ROBBIE: 13, 12, 25.

MARISHA, ASHLEY, and LIAM: Ooh!

MATT: 25.

MATT: Showoff.

ASHLEY: Dirty 20.

MATT: Dirty 20.

LAURA: Nice. 34.

TRAVIS: Damn!

ROBBIE: Oh!

LIAM: Oh!

TRAVIS: What?!

ASHLEY: sh*t!

MATT: All right.

LIAM: Ha ha, 13.

TRAVIS: I just got pregnant. (laughter)

MATT: 13. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Two, but I'm tempted to just threaten physically. (laughter)

TRAVIS: (intimidating growl)

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: (intimidating growl)

TALIESIN: My threat's high, man.

TRAVIS: I know.

LIAM: This was like a roller coaster run. (rising and falling)

MATT: For all the goofiness that you sometimes present--

ROBBIE: (laughs)

MATT: (laughs)

TRAVIS: "Sometimes."

MARISHA: What do you mean? (laughter)

MARISHA: What?

MATT: At this question from Imogen, there is a communal lean on those words and you can see Astrid is rapidly taking an assessment of who you look like but who you might truly be and what you might be capable of. You see this sly grin creep across her face, the scar on her cheek wrinkling a bit as her eyes narrow. "As a member of the Assembly, it is important to try and look for any sort of weaknesses in the other members in case any of them go a bit sour or come for you. Some of them are easier to read than others. Ludinus has always been extremely challenging to read, but there was one little quirk I've been noticing. Not always, but every now and then, he would have an itch, a recurring little itch."

LAURA: That's where he kept the harness.

MATT: "Right around the back of his neck."

TRAVIS: This is Ludinus?

MATT: "Now, I have my theories, perhaps it was an illness."

TRAVIS: Possible, but Yasha also had a mark like that.

MATT: "Perhaps some sort of challenged echo of his experimentations, I do not know."

LAURA: Maybe like a heat rash.

MARISHA: Mm.

LAURA: It's a common place to get it.

LIAM: A seafood allergy.

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, that's true.

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: "But there was one time when he saw that I noticed him and he shot me such a glare."

MARISHA: The least important part of what she said.

MATT: "So, perhaps he's just embarrassed, but it was the first time I ever saw him, for just a brief moment, look like he showed his cards."

LAURA: Hmm.

ASHLEY: What do you think it is, if you could give it a guess?

MATT: "Well, a heat rash."

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MARISHA: Real quick, since it feels like we're wrapping up.

LAURA: It's definitely from the harness.

MARISHA: What happened here in Zadash?

TRAVIS: Oh yeah, the buildings.

MARISHA: Everything's quite a mess.

MATT: "I've mainly been staying in here since all of this solstice business transpired. It was safer for me to not (chuckles) wander. To her credit, Iva's been very kind to quickly hire help." It's at this time you can see, stepping through a small knot in the door, you hear this (creak) and you see this little white fluffy cat wander in and starts rubbing against Dorian's leg.

ROBBIE: (sneezes) (laughter)

ASHLEY: Hello.

MATT: "What I do know is that some terrible flaming bird of black and purple fire soared through the sky. It briefly skirted the skyline and streets of this town before it was either stopped or set off somewhere else."

TRAVIS: Shut the f*ck up.

MARISHA: Purple fire?

LAURA: What is it, what is it, what?

TRAVIS: (giddy) Oh. Oh sh*t.

ASHLEY: Wait, wait, wait.

TRAVIS: Oh sh*t.

LIAM: Uka's cousin.

TRAVIS: Essek, my man with the hair.

MATT: "You can just call me Essek, please."

TRAVIS: With the hella good hair.

LAURA: (gasps)

TALIESIN: The snake, the squid.

TRAVIS: The Genesis Ward, do you know where that is? I admit, I've been a lot of places. Eiselcross is not one of them.

MATT: "I do, actually. I've been there before."

TRAVIS: Oh!

MATT: Looks down to Astrid. "We should discuss elsewhere. But it is good to know that at least some of my familiarity will come in handy, and indeed, if he is working beneath the Genesis Ward, there are a handful of unwalked paths that I could consider as possibilities. They've also been there for some time, so any signs of their research would be, well, trackable."

TRAVIS: Then, DM, is Astrid wearing--

MARISHA: (sneezes)

MATT: Bless you.

TRAVIS: -- any jewelry?

MARISHA: Damn it.

TRAVIS: Anything that jumps out?

MATT: Make a perception check.

TALIESIN: ♪ (Pink Panther theme) ♪

TRAVIS: I don't know why I rolled with advantage. I'll use this die, because that was a 20. 18.

MATT: 18. You can see she has a clasp on her dark green cloak that she has on. She's wearing simple leather armor that has some really detailed-looking, it's almost like chain mail but the chains are smaller that sits underneath the segments. You see she has two rings on the left hand on the two central fingers and then she has one ring on her pinky and her index on the other hand. That's all you see.

TRAVIS: Nothing around her neck that we can see?

MATT: Nothing around her neck, no.

LAURA: Mm-hmm, hmm, hmm.

TRAVIS: Yeah, just looking for a locket, a sense of family.

LAURA: Mm, mm, mm.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

MATT: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Well, you've been very helpful.

MATT: "She's been kind of helpful."

TRAVIS: Well, sh*t.

MARISHA: Damn.

MATT: "But better than nothing. Very well."

ASHLEY: Is there anything else? Is there anything else besides he's got a scratch on the back of his neck?

TRAVIS: Is there anything else?

ASHLEY: An itch?

MATT: (laughs) (Astrid) "I wish I could tell you, honestly. He's extremely careful about a lot of things and is dubiously challenging to read past what he wants you to see. So I think that's part of what makes him so unsettling as a figure. I wish I could tell you more. But I've seen him, I've seen him walk his entire time with confidence, and that was the only moment for a split second I saw a glint of fear in his eyes."

ASHLEY: Okay.

TRAVIS: Well, I, for one, am very grateful for your assistance. I'll reach into a little pouch and take out a small wooden circle and hand it to her.

MATT: She looks over at the rest of you to be released.

TALIESIN: (releases grip)

MATT: "(grunt) (sighs)"

TRAVIS: Carved into it in wood, it said "Farts are funny." (laughter)

MATT: She looks at it. "I will treasure it always." (laughter)

TRAVIS: You better. (lingering laughter)

TALIESIN: There may not be a lot left if things go wrong. Are we going to see you out there fighting when things go wrong?

MATT: "If they come to me, yes."

TALIESIN: They'll eventually be coming to anyone, and you should think about that because one way or another, if it goes wrong, that knee will bend itself. I'm good.

TRAVIS: We've been on the moon, you got any questions for us?

TALIESIN: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Never mind, it's cool. Enjoy the gift.

MATT: She looks at Essek, unbelieving, and he goes-- (shrugs) She looks at the wooden coin.

TALIESIN: Do we have a rock?

MATT: "Sure." (laughter)

TALIESIN: Do we have a rock?

MATT: Flicks it onto the ground.

MARISHA: A rock?

MATT: The white cat's--

TALIESIN: A moon rock.

LAURA: We don't need to prove it to her.

LIAM: Tip your mages--

MATT: The white cat's curled up behind her leg and she goes, "Shh, Prudence, it's all right."

TALIESIN: I just want to laugh.

MARISHA: Prudence?

ROBBIE: Prudence.

LAURA: Cute.

TRAVIS: I'm so allergic.

MARISHA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Wait, Prudence is the cat's name?

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

MATT: She goes and snaps her fingers, nothing happens. Looks at Essek, "Do you mind?" (Essek) "Are we comfortable? Do we feel like we have what we need, at least a direction to go?"

LAURA: You're the one that's the expert up there. Do you know where the Genesis Ward is?

MATT: "I do."

LAURA: Well then, yeah, we got what we need.

MATT: "I'll tell you more on the way."

TRAVIS: Occultus Thalamus.

MATT: He goes ahead and washes his hand through the air. You can feel a stale scent to the very vibration around you pass and Astrid immediately throws up an illusion and retakes the form of Erma that you saw her in. She sits back in the chair, takes up the book that was thrown to the ground and has to thumb through to find her place.

LAURA: What's she reading?

LIAM: Yeah, what's she reading?

MARISHA: Yeah. (laughter)

TRAVIS: So fast.

MATT: I know. You motherf*ckers.

LAURA and ROBBIE: (laugh)

MATT: She is reading, actually she's reading "The Gale and the Raven."

LAURA: Hmm. That's one that sounded appealing, too.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MARISHA and TALIESIN: Mm.

MARISHA: Beautiful story.

TRAVIS: Well, we should get to this Eiselcross. I'm sure it's a couple hours north of here.

MARISHA: Mm, yes.

ASHLEY: Yeah, a couple hours.

MATT: "It's actually a bit trite."

ASHLEY: Do you have a favorite book?

MATT: "Not yet. I hate it here, but there's no better way to pass the time, I suppose."

MARISHA: You don't have a favorite book? Wow, you must be fun at parties.

MATT: "I'm quite fun at parties, actually."

TRAVIS: Oh sh*t.

MATT: "I can cut a rug on occasion."

ASHLEY: Oh!

MARISHA: Ooh!

LAURA: (laughs)

TALIESIN: Insight check, anyone?

ASHLEY: Oh, wow.

TALIESIN: Sorry.

ROBBIE: (laughs)

LAURA: I believe it.

LIAM: Not necessary.

LAURA: Yeah. (laughter)

MATT: Essek puts on his illusion once more and steps out of the back chamber.

TRAVIS: No!

MATT: You can (laughs) see Iva standing there, "Everything all right? I heard there was a commotion."

TRAVIS: Oh yeah, we're just fine.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LAURA: Yeah. We're just--

MARISHA: It's fine.

LAURA: -- really enthusiastic about the p*rn.

ASHLEY: Just cutting a rug in there.

LIAM: Best of friends.

TALIESIN: I tripped.

ASHLEY: What's your favorite book here?

MATT: "Oh my goodness, don't get me started. First off, Erma, everything okay?" (Erma) "Yeah, everything's all right. They had just had a lot of questions and I tripped." (Iva) "Okay! A lot of strange things going on around here."

LAURA: She's clumsy, I could tell.

MATT: "Mm. My favorite book? I know it's hackneyed because it's been a bestseller for a number of years, but I only have one copy left," and pulls a book off the shelf that you see has this beautifully, broad-looking orcish handsome man holding this human woman with her hair blowing.

TRAVIS: Feed me, Seymour. (laughter)

MATT: "'Tusk Love,' do you know about this one?"

MARISHA: I've heard, yes.

TALIESIN: No.

ASHLEY: Tell us.

MATT: "This is a third edition, so there's actually an interview in the back from the author." (laughter)

MARISHA: Oh my goodness.

TRAVIS: Abridged.

MATT: "It is hardbound, so it's a little more expensive, but it is a collector's piece. So if you want one, we have one left on sale."

TRAVIS: How much?

MATT: "They're friends of yours, Erma?" (Erma) "No." (Iva) "Ah, well, that'll be one gold, five silver."

TRAVIS: Done, two gold.

MARISHA: Pretty good.

LAURA: What? (stammers) Is there another book you can throw in for that extra bit?

TRAVIS: Laura Bailey, shining through. (laughter)

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

LAURA: You don't give a tip on a book, you know? It's just a book.

TRAVIS: Do you have any erasers you can throw in, maybe some paperclips?

ROBBIE: Oh, that's a book, it's called "Just the Tip" right here. (laughter)

TRAVIS: And some slap bracelets?

LAURA: Natural 20! (laughter)

ROBBIE: Hey!

LIAM: Dance.

ASHLEY: Laura Bailey roll!

MATT: She looks at you. "(sigh) You know, if you like 'Tusk Love,' I can definitely give you 'Guard of My Heart.' It's a bit of a used copy, but I think it'll go in well. I got a bunch of incense here I can throw in."

ASHLEY: What about a picture book? Like a picture p*rn?

LAURA: Do you know how to--?

TRAVIS and MARISHA: A picture p*rn?

ASHLEY: Yeah, you know? I've heard of these.

TRAVIS: Fearne has never seen p*rn. (laughter)

MATT: She steps into the back room and--

TRAVIS: What about wieners?

MATT: -- comes back with--

ROBBIE: Can she read?

MATT: A plain brown leatherbound book. It's smaller than the other, it's only about that large.

ASHLEY: Yeah, because you've got to keep the cover--

MATT: Yeah.

ASHLEY: -- discreet.

MATT: She goes--

LAURA: Classy.

ASHLEY: Classy. MATT "This actually was written a few hundred years ago by an ex-priest out of Vasselheim who had rediscovered himself--"

ASHLEY: A naughty priest?

MATT: "-- through a tawdry journey. It's untitled, but--"

LIAM: Vintage.

MATT: He flickers it just for a moment in front of you.

LAURA: Oh, they're so hairy.

MATT: Closes it and it's a number of extremely detailed, slightly cartoony, just a plethora of positions.

ASHLEY: I'll take it, how much?

MATT: Some mundane. (laughter)

MATT: Some magically-enhanced.

ALL: Oh.

LAURA: Nice.

MATT: The various schools of magic with their runic inscriptions and uses--

TRAVIS: Reverse arcanist.

MATT: -- within there.

ASHLEY: What art! (laughter)

ASHLEY: What art, what art!

TALIESIN: That one's not buyable.

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: Oh! Prismatic Spray. (laughter)

MARISHA: Oh god.

ASHLEY: I get it, I get it. (laughter)

ASHLEY: How much for this?

TRAVIS: Bormodo style.

MATT: "Well."

MARISHA: (laughs)

ROBBIE: Lubricate!

MATT: "You seem to be a connoisseur." Make a persuasion check.

ASHLEY: I am a connoisseur.

LIAM: It's got grease.

ASHLEY: As a matter of fact.

TRAVIS: You've got it.

ASHLEY: Natural 20. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Why? Why?!

ROBBIE: The best rolls of the night on the p*rn!

TRAVIS: Why?

ASHLEY: So that'll make it--

MATT: I mean, that's just right.

ASHLEY: -- 33

TRAVIS: You come alive, you know.

ASHLEY: 33.

MARISHA: It's going to be funny if you roll a one on a very important check.

ROBBIE: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's going to be peak combat.

ASHLEY: I know.

MARISHA: Yeah, we'll be in combat.

ROBBIE: Can't succeed.

MATT: She looks at you.

ROBBIE: Two nat 20s on the p*rno.

MATT: She looks at the book and goes--

MARISHA: Two nat 20s on the p*rno rolls.

MATT: "This is a personal collector's copy."

ASHLEY: Oh. Oh.

LIAM: Ah.

MATT: "But I've had it for some time, and I'm going to be honest, it's fun to look at, but I haven't had a lot of opportunities to put it to use."

ASHLEY: Oh!

MATT: "You seem to be on quite a walkabout."

MARISHA: She looks at all of us?

MATT: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Here's the thing--

MATT: "I would be happy to put it into more useful hands," and she puts it into your grasp.

ASHLEY: Here's the thing.

ROBBIE: Especially these two.

LIAM: Do we give vibes?

ROBBIE: (laughs)

ASHLEY: I think we do.

TALIESIN: We might be getting some vibes.

MARISHA: I think so.

ASHLEY: Here's the thing. If you haven't been able to put it to good use yet, I think you need to keep it.

LAURA: (gasps) Are you kidding?

MATT: "Oh, I know it front to back. (laughs)"

ASHLEY: Oh, you do? Oh, okay.

MATT: "I appreciate that."

ASHLEY: I'll take it.

TRAVIS: Some of those pages stick together.

MATT: "You'll take more from this than I would."

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, so sticky.

TALIESIN: Fronts and the backs. (snickering)

TALIESIN: Some sides.

ASHLEY: Thank you.

MATT: "Of course."

ASHLEY: I'm going to give her a platinum.

LAURA: (gasps) Why?

ROBBIE: Whoa!

LAURA: What are you taking about?

ROBBIE: Yeah!

LAURA: A platinum?!

TRAVIS: You know how much a platinum is, right?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LAURA: That's 100 gold!

TRAVIS: No.

LAURA: No, 10 gold.

ASHLEY: It's fine. I'm rich.

MARISHA: No.

ROBBIE: One million gold.

TALIESIN: Did we ever divide up all the money we were given?

LAURA: No, we didn't.

TRAVIS: Of course we did.

LAURA: Chetney just keeps it all.

TALIESIN: Chetney's got it all on him, okay. Just checking.

ASHLEY: This is art.

TALIESIN: That's why you jingle so much when you walk.

ASHLEY: This is art. Thank you.

LIAM: I will give you 10,000 gold for this smut.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MARISHA and ROBBIE: (laugh)

MATT: You see the illusion-covered Essek, Seth, just beyond the doorway, tapping his foot impatiently.

LAURA: Sorry, Essek. This is important stuff. We need it to fight.

ASHLEY: Yeah, you don't know when this is going to come in handy. You just wait and see, it will.

MARISHA: True.

LIAM: Got to stay warm in the north somehow.

TALIESIN: We're bereaved. We need this.

ASHLEY: Yes.

MATT: Iva, before you leave, goes, "You're all very well-equipped, and call me crazy, but I get a feeling that you might be of the adventurous type."

TALIESIN: Go on.

LAURA: Mm-hmm.

MATT: "Right, so you travel a lot, maybe?

LIAM: That's true.

TALIESIN: We do.

ASHLEY: Mm-hmm.

MATT: "Are you going at all to the Menagerie Coast?"

TALIESIN: We could.

LIAM: If things go well, maybe we can--

TRAVIS: We could be persuaded. Why? What did you have in mind?

MATT: "If you do, I have a friend there I haven't talked to in a while. If you could just tell them I say hi, that'd be great."

TRAVIS: Oh sure.

ASHLEY: Sure.

TRAVIS: Who's your friend?

MATT: "His name's Yussa Errenis."

LAURA: Yussa.

MARISHA: Mm.

ASHLEY: Okay.

MATT: "Pen pal. It's been a bit. He hasn't really responded to my letters recently, and I would very much--"

LAURA: Oh.

MATT: "-- like to keep in contact and catch up."

MARISHA: It's a little crush.

LAURA: When was the last letter sent?

MATT: "A couple months ago."

TALIESIN: Well, that's-- Okay.

TRAVIS: Yussa Errenis.

MARISHA: Did Yussa allude to anything in their last letter that would--

MATT: "No, they're just very busy. They're a busy person."

MARISHA: Very busy.

TRAVIS: Yeah, sure, we'll remember.

MARISHA: All right. All right.

ROBBIE: They're not one of those prison pen pals, are they?

MATT: "No."

ROBBIE: Oh, good.

MATT: "I hope not."

ROBBIE: All right.

MATT: "I don't think so."

TRAVIS: Where should we go calling for them? Are they a government employee? Do they work on the water?

MATT: "No, independent researcher. Tower, Tidepeak, Nicodranas, if you're in the way."

TRAVIS: Tower, Tidepeak.

MATT: "Only if you're going that way. Anyway."

ASHLEY: Sure, sure, sure.

MATT: "Thank you so much for your patronage." She's still clutching the platinum in her hand. "I hope your books come in handy."

TRAVIS: Thank you much.

ASHLEY: I think they'll come in very handy. Thank you very much.

MATT: She goes and takes the coin, and as you leave, you notice, as you're all exiting, she goes and pulls out a secondary copy of the leather book and puts it-- (laughs)

TRAVIS: Oh!

LIAM: Respect.

ASHLEY: Respect, respect.

LAURA: I respect that.

TRAVIS: The hustle.

ROBBIE: Knew it all along.

TRAVIS: The hustle!

MATT: All right, you step out, and as Essek stands there, looking at the rest of you, "You said you also need supplies, perhaps?"

TALIESIN: We have a few things we need to take care of in town, if that's okay.

MATT: "Certainly, what is it you're looking to take care of?"

TALIESIN: Well, I'm going to recommend a little bit of group therapy before we go, and also going to recommend that we supply up. What kind of climate are we going to? What's available? Towns, cities?

MATT: "(laughs) No towns, no cities. It is absolutely freezing. I recommend bringing cloaks, getting heavy furred boots, anything to wear over yourselves to keep yourselves extremely warm, because it will be very cold."

LAURA: All right.

TRAVIS: Oh.

TALIESIN: So we're going to need some coats, and I'm going to give you all a pitch in a minute.

LAURA: (laughs)

TALIESIN: Where do we want to meet in a few hours? Somewhere around here?

MARISHA: We're okay though.

LAURA: (good natured murmuring) (laughs)

LAURA: It'll be fine.

MARISHA: It's fine.

MATT: You see him think for a second. "I'm actually a bit peckish. There's a place called the Pentamarket.

LAURA: Pentamarket.

TALIESIN: Thank you.

MATT: "It's hard to miss the smell of cooking meats. I'm likely to be there, getting a snack. (smirks)"

TRAVIS: Who would come up with a name like that? Okay, Pentamarket.

LAURA: That's where we can go to get potions and stuff?

MATT: "There is a place I can take you that might have some supplies like that, yes."

LAURA: Great.

TALIESIN: Perfect.

ASHLEY: Okay.

LAURA: Yeah, we need health potions. Do we need gear?

TALIESIN: Health potions, gear and some, honestly, I just keep figuring out that it's the weird sh*t that we bring that somehow always comes in handy.

TRAVIS: Yeah.

TALIESIN: So whatever strikes our fancy.

TRAVIS: If it's freezing, then yeah, I need to get some things--

LAURA: Did we ever find any magic--

ASHLEY: We can get some cloaks.

LAURA: This is out of character. Did we find any magic cloaks or anything? Did we find any--

TALIESIN: We have fancy clothing.

LAURA: -- things to raise our AC?

TRAVIS: You mean to suck into the funnel?

LAURA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: We've got some stuff for the funnel, I think.

LAURA: Stuff for the funnel, or just--

TALIESIN: In the hole.

LAURA: -- clothing items. We never picked up anything like that from anybody?

TALIESIN: Not really.

TRAVIS: No.

LAURA: All right, then we probably-- Maybe we can buy an enchanted object.

TALIESIN: I've got a belt.

LAURA: There's enchanted armor and stuff.

MARISHA: It was close, but they were--

MATT: There is, yeah.

LAURA: Sorcerers can wear, that will raise AC?

TALIESIN: Finding some magic shop or something, yeah.

MATT: Possibly.

ASHLEY: You need to get a--

LAURA: Okay.

TALIESIN: That's a good idea.

LAURA: My AC's pretty low.

MARISHA: We had those cloaks, the one use-cloaks that we had that we got from Nana Morri, right?

LIAM: But those were mossy--

MATT: You did. Those were enchanted for that particular region.

LAURA: For one time.

MARISHA: One time.

MATT: The magic of the region around her was what--

TALIESIN: I think we're going to need-- Guys, I think we're going to need a little bit of a shopping episode. I'm really sorry.

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT and MARISHA: (laugh)

TALIESIN: For the record, that was in character. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Thank you.

LIAM: You're having an episode?

TALIESIN: I phased out and there was this magical 4th wall for a second, I don't know.

ASHLEY: I can't stop shopping!

TRAVIS: It's right in front of me.

TALIESIN: Oh god.

LAURA: (hyperventilating) I'm having a shopping episode!

TALIESIN: I can see you all.

MATT: As Essek's about to turn, he's like, "Whenever you're ready to go shopping, as you put it, for these particular potions and other, find me in the market," and he goes and starts heading off.

MARISHA: Let's go.

TALIESIN: Oh yeah. Okay, you all. I had you pick up a bunch of sh*t before we left.

ROBBIE: Yes.

TALIESIN: I had an epiphany this morning when I woke up, and thank god we found you.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TALIESIN: So, I'm f*cked up right now. I'm pretending that none of it happened, but it's been a weird 24 f*cking hours, and going into a place like this, even if you think your head's in the game, your head is not in the game. I've learned that the hard way, several times. So, we have a thing that we used to do, those of us who came out of the Greymoore Academy, where we would take that part of yourself that you had just lost, that person who filled a thing in, and we would attempt to recreate that as best we could as an emotional patch, and we did this with art. So, I'm going to go make a new f*cking jacket. It is time. It's time to start over. New jacket for FCG. I recommend, and I know it sounds stupid, I recommend we all make some f*cking clothes. Not even necessarily just make them, or have them made, I think we need to put a little bit of ourselves into it. It's the best way to-- It's the best I've found to carry someone with you. I want a new piece of f*cking clothing.

LAURA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: I'm with you.

LAURA: All right.

TALIESIN: That previous jacket was everybody I cared about, so.

LIAM: I do have to patch up my armor a bit.

TALIESIN: Let's make some room.

TRAVIS: This velvet tracksuit won't cut it.

LAURA: Yeah, it's getting a little--

TRAVIS: What?

ASHLEY: (sniffing)

LIAM: Well, you can only explode--

TRAVIS: Hot?

LIAM: -- it open so many times, Chet.

LAURA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: It's getting a little thin. You can see through it.

LIAM: It's a little loose.

MARISHA: Yeah, threadbare.

LAURA: (laughs) We're seeing those jingle-jangles, Chet.

ASHLEY: Yeah, jingle-jangles. Gets a little nibble-y.

MARISHA: All those money sacks.

TRAVIS: That's function, not fashion.

TALIESIN: So yeah, let's take a second and figure out who you feel like today, and figure out ways of who we want to be to each other, and let's wear it.

LAURA: All right.

ROBBIE: Okay.

TALIESIN: We have a bunch of stuff that we can coordinate, if we want to-- Thank you, again, for doing the run-around. I've picked up some stuff while we're there. I sent you with whole thing, some leather. I gave you a list of bullsh*t.

ROBBIE: Mm-hmm.

TALIESIN: I'm sure we can find a place around here to help put something together quick, but let's make sure we-- Yeah, let's make sure that we make it something important.

TRAVIS: Okay. Should we look for a place that--

LAURA: We could do that?

TRAVIS: -- tailors some clothes?

LAURA: Yeah, like a shop? A tailor shop?

TRAVIS: Could we keep an eye out for--

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Yeah, anything that has magical artifacts or supplements, and also clothing stores.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: As we walk.

LAURA: I want to try to get my AC up, I don't know if there's any way to do it.

TALIESIN: There's a clothing store that also has a therapist working.

LAURA: Sure would be nice.

MARISHA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: A licensed therapist.

LIAM: All right, so we are roaming Zadash, looking for a shop with some arcane shiz, and armory and clothing.

ASHLEY: Arcane ji*zz.

MATT: No worries.

MARISHA: Might as well head--

LAURA: I'm so excited for all the--

MARISHA: -- to the Pentamarket.

TALIESIN: I think in theory, I'm able to traverse urban environments and find weird sh*t. I think that's something in my character description.

MATT: Yeah, so within the region that you are right now, which is the more affluent area, most of the places that serve anything arcane-related are more like small, tiny enchanted knickknacks and toys for children or little goblets that enhance the alcohol content of the liquid that's poured within for a singular drink.

MARISHA: What? I want that. (laughter)

MATT: I mean, in real life, yeah.

TALIESIN: Not now, Marisha!

TRAVIS: Sandkheg's Hide. (laughter)

ASHLEY: God, I wish we had some right now.

TALIESIN: (cork popping)

LAURA: I know, I want some.

LIAM: It's a margarita glass, but it has a lid. (laughter)

ROBBIE: Is there any lodging nearby that we can see or clock?

MATT: You do see, within this area, there is a place called the Pillow Trove, this incredible-looking inn, massive multi-story structure with beautiful balconies. The whole aesthetic here is very, very high-end, on par with some of the nicest places you've stayed when wandering Exandria.

TALIESIN: Ritz-Carlton.

MATT: You also see a place referred to, or the sign says, The Emerald Curtain, that what you can see is a two-story custom tailor slash--

LAURA: Oh!

MATT: -- a tannery that deals in fine leathers for travel, but things that are presentationally beautiful. So, those are two things that catch your eye in this region. A little bit of asking around for anything magical related, most people said the Pentamarket would be your best bet, which is outside of this district.

TALIESIN: So we can leave things here.

ROBBIE: What was the name of the first place? The Poofy Pillow?

TRAVIS: The Pillow Trove?

MATT: The Pillow Trove.

MARISHA: The Poofy Pillow! That's a better name!

ROBBIE: The Pillow Trove, okay.

TALIESIN: That's a better name.

LIAM: That's a different place.

ASHLEY: Sounds comfortable.

LAURA: Are we staying here overnight?

LIAM: That's a different place.

LAURA: I didn't get that information from Essek.

ROBBIE: I want to look at a place for us to convene, a suite that we can get together and get our sh*t--

LAURA: Okay.

ROBBIE: A base of operations.

TALIESIN: Is the Pillow Trove where the bathhouse is?

ROBBIE: Yeah.

MARISHA: I think it was.

TALIESIN: Oh god, they have a spa.

MATT: No, there is a bathhouse elsewhere in the city.

TALIESIN: Okay, there was a spa. I remember.

ROBBIE: Have you been here before?

TALIESIN: I'm OCC, motherf*cker. OOC. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Actually? No, no.

MATT: The Steam's Respite.

TALIESIN: Thank you, thank you.

TRAVIS: I'm not allowed in there.

LAURA: Oh, so you have been here before.

LIAM: Where was the place--

TALIESIN: You've never been here.

TRAVIS: Oh yeah.

LIAM: -- with the dead person in the basem*nt?

TALIESIN: No, he's just not allowed in there.

MARISHA: Probably half of Zadash. Dead person in the basem*nt?

LIAM: The one that we came in contact with.

LAURA: Spoilers! Stop it!

LIAM: Caleb.

MATT: Anyway, current campaign.

TALIESIN: Anyway!

MATT: Current campaign, what are we doing? What've we got?

LIAM: I see all three at once, at all times.

MATT: Welcome to my world.

MARISHA: Matt, question.

MATT: Yes.

MARISHA: Above the table.

TRAVIS: (mouth fart) (laughter)

MARISHA: Above the table!

LAURA: Farts are funny!

MARISHA: Not below.

TRAVIS: (sniffs)

MATT: It'll be above shortly.

MARISHA: (laughs) It rises. Were we told-- Did Beau and Caleb tell us about Beau being a part of the Cobalt Soul?

TALIESIN: I feel like she did.

MATT: I can't recall. I believe in the time that you conversed, and what little bit you would know, that probably would've been present at some point in the conversation, for the purpose of them being there. So I think likely, you would know that, yeah.

LIAM: Very early on.

MARISHA: Mm-hmm. Okay, I don't think Laudna would know to go looking for it, but if we happen to pass the Cobalt Soul and I notice it, I might pop in.

MATT: Okay. All right, well, that's in another district. Is there anything you wish to do while you're here in the Tri-Spires, where the Pillow Trove is?

LIAM: This is where the leatherworking was, right?

TRAVIS: The Emerald Curtain.

MATT: Yeah, where The Emerald Curtain is.

TALIESIN: Let's go.

LAURA: Okay, then yeah, let's hit that first.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: We're going to need to show them-- We're going to have to, yeah, show them FCG.

LAURA: What we have-- Yeah.

TALIESIN: Since you're the one who can--

MATT: So as you approach and enter the interior of The Emerald Curtain, the scent in here is that odd, fresh carpet smell, like freshly treated materials, like nice thick, really well-created weaves of silks and fine cottons being dyed, and that dye scent as well, that fresh dye that has that earthy meets chemical scent that gently permeates throughout. There is a brazier out front that is burning a gentle incense to try and keep all that situated. But you do see within here, there are a number of employees. They're all just waiting. There isn't a lot of sales going on amongst recent events. As soon as you enter, they all stand to attention, and one individual with a little more presence steps up to you. You see what looks to be an older human man. He's got a bit of a hunch to his back shoulders. He has this wide donut of curly salt and pepper hair that fits around his slightly sunburned skin, and he wears a nice green vest to match the emerald aesthetic with a billowing shirt beneath it. Very, very well-dressed, and as he steps up, "Ah, hello and welcome to The Emerald Curtain. You are looking to purchase something, yes?"

TRAVIS: Yes, we would like to p-p-p-- look at your stuff, and also maybe order some custom goods.

TALIESIN: No maybe there, we're looking for some new clothes. We recently went through a little bit of a thing. Clearly, we're musicians. We have a friend who just went, sadly shuffled off, no longer be with us.

MATT: "I'm terribly sorry to hear that."

TALIESIN: I appreciate that. We want to do something to honor our friend.

TRAVIS: Memorialize it.

TALIESIN: Memorialize. Laudna, do you mind? Can you give them a little bit of a visual representation?

MARISHA: Oh, yes. I take out Sashimi and almost use Sashimi like a mannequin, like a body form, and then around Sashimi, I make an illusion of FCG.

MATT: "Hm."

MARISHA: Make him roll on their wheel, back and forth.

MATT: "That is quite a trick."

MARISHA: Make FCG wave.

MATT: "How quaint!"

MARISHA: Yes.

MATT: "What is the purpose of this?"

TALIESIN: Honestly, just so that when we see each other, we can have a moment to acknowledge our friend. We're going to also be traveling to some interesting environments, going north. We're not used to the cold. We're also going to need matching cloaks. Do we want to do matching cloaks?

TRAVIS: I think heavy--

TALIESIN: Matching cloaks?

MARISHA: Heavy cloaks.

TALIESIN: Heavy cloaks.

TRAVIS: Heavy cloaks would be good, and maybe if you could keep their colors in mind.

TALIESIN: Yeah, we've got some stuff, I pulled out before. We've got some stuff to work on, if you need some things to tie everything a little bit together. I have a giant pile of materials. Feel free to embellish.

MATT: "All right."

TALIESIN: If anyone wants to talk to them about what you want, and then--

MATT: "Now, custom work does take a bit of time. Thankfully, we don't have a backlog at the moment, and most of our staff is available. It is easier to retool existing materials than to create from scratch, so if you might find an item throughout the store that fits your needs with a slight alteration--"

LAURA: Oh, great.

TALIESIN: Even better.

MATT: "-- that would be much more prevalent, if you're looking to head on a journey sometime soon."

TALIESIN: Big fan.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LAURA: Mmkay.

ASHLEY: Well, I actually would like to purchase, do you have yellow thread?

MATT: "Oh yes, quite a bit of yellow thread."

ASHLEY: Okay. I'm going to purchase some yellow thread.

MATT: "All right."

ROBBIE: Also, do you have jeweler's tools, by any chance, for purchase or loan?

MATT: "We do not personally have jeweler's tools, but we have tools for-- I guess it's comparable."

ROBBIE: That'll do.

MATT: "We deal with filigree on accentuating details."

ROBBIE: Yes, that's exactly what I'm looking for. May I?

MATT: "For?"

ROBBIE: Myself, to rent. Day pass? Borrow?

MATT: "How much money are you looking to spend today? (laughs)"

TALIESIN: Whatever's necessary, I think, is really the conversation.

MATT: "That's a good answer. Here, yes, that is doable. We'll adjust our agreement of this order. Certainly. So, what else do you need?"

LIAM: My armor has seen better days, so I'm looking to get it sort of patched, and also, we have some material that we brought with us. I'm hoping to incorporate it, especially this.

MATT: "Keith!" (laughter)

MATT: You see this--

ROBBIE: Keith?

MARISHA: Keith?

ROBBIE: Keith. (laughs) (laughter)

MATT: -- young, 20-something year old apprentice rushes up, this big mop of red hair that almost completely covers his face. You just see his nose poking through. He's like, "Yeah? What's up, Tooms?" He's like, "Keith? This gentleman here needs his armor repaired and this material incorporated into it. Do you feel confident since your training?" (Keith) "Yeah, no, I can get it."

LIAM: Great. Do you have a changing room? I don't want to pull it off right here. Anyway--

MATT: He points, and you can see there is a curtain rod that wraps around a small platform.

ROBBIE: We are such high maintenance clients right out of the gate. (laughter)

ROBBIE: Painful! (laughter)

LIAM: I mean, I could start stripping. But the most important part of it is this, and I pull out one of the shoulder joints that was part of Letters' shoulder. It has three blades of grass on it. I'm looking to have my leather shoulder guard here removed I'm looking to have my leather shoulder guard here removed and have this worked in. Is that something that's in your capabilities?

MATT: "Yeah, no, I could do that. Real easy."

LIAM: Cool. Thanks, Keith.

MATT: "Of course."

LIAM: Okay, here's this. I put that in his hands.

MATT: "Oh, wow. This is thick metal.

LIAM: Right.

MATT: "Don't work with metal often. This'll be fun."

LIAM: Be right back. (laughter)

LIAM: I start stripping down and I change into my last outfit that's on me.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: I'm going to go through really quick. Let's do a quick roll-about, see what we want to pull. I know a little bit about, we've talked about what you've been through.

ROBBIE: Yeah.

TALIESIN: I recommend going that direction.

ROBBIE: I have some things. Can I see the sack?

TRAVIS: Oh yeah. Bag of holding. (exhales into bag)

ROBBIE: I'm going to reach in and pull out the handful of discombobulated sh*t, and I want to scan the workers for the most artsy-fartsy looking one. Does that make sense?

MATT: Oh yeah, oh yeah.

ROBBIE: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

ASHLEY: Best style.

TALIESIN: Somebody has lavender hair.

MARISHA: Yeah, you beat me to it! Who's got purple hair?

LAURA: I'm right here. I'm right here.

MATT: For everyone that's attentive, there's one that seems to be less interested in your arrival. You see--

MARISHA: Yeah, that's right.

MATT: -- a slender half-giant sitting in the back by the edge, he has his legs crossed. He has this, it looks almost like a thin crown, but it's actually a silvered laurel that he wears around the back of his head, over his ears.

MARISHA: Wow.

MATT: He has a series of beautiful tattoos that match his skin markings, but they're almost more swirly, and they look elvish, which you've not seen on a half-giant before. As he sits, he's currently in the process of carving through a piece of wood.

ROBBIE: Huh.

MARISHA and LAURA: (gasp)

LIAM: Man of taste.

LAURA: (laughs)

ROBBIE: I'm going to totter over to him. (laughter)

ROBBIE: I'm going to clumsily go over there. Excuse me, hello.

MATT: (deep baritone) "Hello."

ROBBIE: Beautiful voice.

MATT: "Thank you."

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: "Can I help you?"

ROBBIE: Yes, I have some things and some ideas. I'm more of an idea kind of person. I dump this collection of sh*t, metal, leather, all the things that I collected from Keyleth and ran around and scampered with.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

ROBBIE: It's an idea, but I think maybe I could hire you for your help putting something together? All the pieces are here, I just don't know how to--

MATT: "Damid."

ROBBIE: Damid?

MATT: "Damid."

ROBBIE: Dorian. A pleasure.

MATT: "Pleasure, Dorian. This is quite a spread. Ooh!" You see he picks up one piece and takes another, starts layering them over. "There's some patterns here that could be quite unique."

TRAVIS: (laughs)

ROBBIE: Actually, I made a drawing. (laughs) I'm going to pull out a crumpled piece of parchment, and it just looks like a five-year-old's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not great.

MATT: Takes it, looks at it.

ROBBIE: You get the idea.

MATT: Turns it around.

ROBBIE: (laughs)

MATT: Turns it around.

TRAVIS and LIAM: (laugh)

ROBBIE: That's me.

MATT: "I can see that."

ROBBIE: You know, the hair, the tips.

MATT: "Quite a skilled amateur."

ROBBIE: Well.

MATT: He chews on the word a bit longer than he needs to. "Yes, if you're looking for creative freedom to be granted."

ROBBIE: Yes!

MATT: "I'm known for my inspiration."

ROBBIE: I trust an artist, that's for sure. (stumbling over words) Would it be okay if I watched? I'm going to creep around his back shoulder and backseat drive, look over his shoulder while he starts to tinker.

MATT: "An audience. It's been a bit." (laughter)

TRAVIS: Oh, wow.

ASHLEY: Oh, my, my!

MATT: He goes to work.

ROBBIE: Ah! I bet he does. (laughter)

MARISHA: Leather's not really my thing, although I did find this little off the rack bodice. I feel like this little black bodice.

ASHLEY and ROBBIE: Ooh!

LAURA: That's nice!

MARISHA: New corset.

LAURA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: That's beautiful.

ROBBIE: Yeah.

MARISHA: I'll take that, and the cloaks, and then do you have any dyes? Purple dye?

MATT: "Oh. Oh yes, quite."

MARISHA: Purple dye?

MATT: "We do have quite some, all forms of dyes. All colorations of dyes. Mixing and matching. We can do whatever you like, for the right price."

MARISHA: Great. You don't just sell bottles? I can't get a bottle of dye?

MATT: "Oh, you just want the dye itself?"

MARISHA: Yes, just the dye. I'm kind of a crafter myself.

MATT: "All right, I'll put that on the ledger."

MARISHA: And this black fabric. That's good, I'm good here. I need to go, they said they're not good with metal. I'll go somewhere else for that.

ASHLEY: I have kept FCG's jacket. But I kind of want to work on it myself.

TALIESIN: That's good.

ASHLEY: I don't really want to change it. I want to keep all the bits of his smell and some of the charred bits, to just remember what he did.

TALIESIN: Do you want them to pull it in, or do you want to do it all yourself?

ASHLEY: I can do it. I'm really--

LIAM: You're very crafty.

LAURA: Yeah, you're very talented.

ASHLEY: I can do it.

MARISHA: I think I want to have a craft night.

LAURA: She's very capable.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm very capable.

MARISHA: Very capable. Let's have a craft night.

ASHLEY: I might ask you for some help. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

MARISHA: Yes, yes.

ASHLEY: Okay.

LAURA: I'm going to mosey around the store and look for something that's a little more (laughs) battle-ready than my hot pants that I'm wearing right now. (laughter)

LAURA: Based on what I think we're going into.

LIAM: You don't want to go to the arctic dressed like the Pink Ladies?

LAURA: You know, I-- (laughter)

LAURA: I froze my cooch off the last time we were in cold weather, I don't want to do it again.

MATT: All right, what in particular are you looking for?

LAURA: Some pants, but I want it--

ASHLEY: (exaggerated Southern) Pants!

LAURA: Some pants! But I want to get dark blue ones, But I want to get dark blue ones, like FCG's jacket.

ROBBIE: Aw.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Do they sell shoes here?

MATT: They do, they have shoes and boots.

LAURA: I want to get some boots, I want to get some pants. Also, I'm looking at Laudna's corset, and I want to get a black corset as well.

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: Ooh.

MARISHA: Let's match.

LAURA: You know.

MARISHA: Yes, I love it.

MATT: (laughs)

LAURA: A little matchy-matchy.

MATT: All righty.

TALIESIN: I'll take both of these pairs of pants. If you can do a little dye on that before I get back, that'd be great.

MATT: "All right, yes."

TALIESIN: I'm going to take those two leather belts. If you can do, I just need some grommeting on this, because I don't have time for that f*cking sh*t, and also, if you have any of those--

MATT: "Yes, we can take care of that."

TALIESIN: I'll just take a bag of those. I'm just--

MATT: "All right, yeah. Okay, put it on the pile." He's writing down each ledger, you see in his eyes, cha-ching, cha-ching, cha-ching!

ROBBIE: (laughs)

TALIESIN: Then the cloaks.

MARISHA: Cloaks for everybody.

TALIESIN: Everybody gets a cloak.

LAURA: Yeah, for the cold weather.

ASHLEY: Right, everybody gets a warm cloak.

LAURA: Also, I'm thinking I might want to change up my dress a little bit to work with these new items that I got, so I'm going to go in a changing room and switch it out so they can work on the dress and maybe change up some of the--

MATT: Easy enough.

ASHLEY: Hey, Ash.

MATT: All the associates are running up and helping you gather things, give opinions. You are currently the only clients in here, and they are quickly noticing that you have quite the ask and will probably take care of the rest of the week or more.

LAURA: Great.

ASHLEY: What are doing with your old belt?

MARISHA: Rest of the week?

MATT: As far as funding goes.

LAURA: Funding.

MARISHA: Funding.

TALIESIN: Nothing, why?

ASHLEY: Can I have your old belt?

TALIESIN: Yep, just toss.

ASHLEY: Thank you.

TALIESIN: I may have to trade, though.

ASHLEY: All right.

TALIESIN: All right.

ASHLEY: For what?

TALIESIN: Do you want me to tell you? Do you want to find out later? Or should I just steal it?

ASHLEY: Oh, all right. Maybe you can just steal it. We'll see.

TALIESIN: Fair.

ASHLEY: Go ahead and try.

TRAVIS: Just flying over there. So leather's your jam, right?

TALIESIN: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Do you have leather coveralls?

MATT: "Yeah."

TRAVIS: Maybe fur-lined, for really cold environments?

ASHLEY: No way.

MARISHA: Please.

MATT: "I do, it's usually what I work in during the colder months."

TRAVIS: Black leather coveralls, if you have them and they fit. If they're child-sized, that's okay as well.

MATT: He looks over to Tooms. Tooms goes--

ROBBIE: (laughs) Child-sized!

MARISHA: Child-sized!

MATT: "I mean, we can always make you more coveralls. It's a number of months 'til winter, anyway." He's like, "Okay, I'll get you mine."

TRAVIS: You got fabric swatches? Blue. Specifically blue.

MATT: "Well, it's leather, we--

TRAVIS: A square, like a pocket square.

LAURA: To match his pants?

MATT: "I dye the leather."

TRAVIS: Just a pocket swatch, I said!

MARISHA: I think we need to go elsewhere for fabrics, Chet.

TRAVIS: I need a blue square of fabric.

LAURA: No, they have fabrics here.

MARISHA: They have fabrics?

TALIESIN: I also brought a bunch of fabric with us.

MATT: "So you want leather coveralls with a square of blue fabric."

TRAVIS: Yep. And also--

MATT: "Okay."

TRAVIS: -- do you have leather briefs?

MATT: They all look at each other.

ASHLEY: That seems comfortable.

LAURA and ROBBIE: (laugh)

MATT: "I can make some."

TRAVIS: Size me up and do your best.

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: "You got it, little man," and he comes over and sits down.

LAURA: You got it, big dog.

MATT: He's a tall, lanky-- (laughter)

TALIESIN: Little?

MATT: Tall, lanky 20-something who has, you gather, he looks doofy and acts a little doofy, but he has an artisan's speed to him, sizing you up and taking measurements and walking around. As he starts pulling back leather thicknesses, you can see he's setting out large hides that either have been dyed or not, pulling out things that are already dark or he can dye it black, various thicknesses. There's deerskin and multiple other types that are much more flexible or light or are thicker for materials, and asks you what works best for the warmth of where you're going. A very extensive array, and eventually finds something that feels right for you. Indeed, is able to get to work on a pair of black furred-- (laughs)

TRAVIS: Black leather, fur-lined coveralls. I'll hike them up just below the knees. I'll probably put some chain mail on the arms. Oh, and I like what Orym did. I'll reach in and also take another shoulder piece from FCG. Throw this on the shoulder as well. Right shoulder.

MATT: "All right." Starts working that into it. Okay.

TRAVIS: Anyone else? We're spending dollar dollar bills, y'all!

LAURA: I know.

TALIESIN: I dropped a few things--

LAURA: As long as we have enough left for--

LIAM: I want a big pile of fur.

LAURA: Yes.

MARISHA: We need clothes.

TALIESIN: I feel good about this.

LIAM: All this is probably manageable.

MATT: Tooms finishes up as all the work is happening, goes and does all of his work.

TALIESIN: I mean, I expect this--

MATT: Pulls out a tiny abacus and starts adding things up.

TALIESIN: 10 gold, 12 gold. Real bad.

MATT: (calculating) "All right, so as a totality of your requested accoutrements--" [piano background music]

TRAVIS: Sounds like "Halloween."

MATT: "-- we're looking at about 235 gold pieces."

LAURA: Whew!

MATT: "Only the finest quality. That includes your travel cloaks as well."

TALIESIN: You're the one that's got the funds.

LAURA: I'm just Imogen here, just little old Imogen.

TRAVIS: Oh, just Imogen?

LAURA: Just Imogen.

TRAVIS: No need to try and get anything else in?

LAURA: I'm just Imogen.

LIAM: Darling.

LAURA: I don't know what things cost. I don't normally get fancy clothes.

TRAVIS: Happy to pay it. Would some extra coin help with the rush at all?

MATT: "This was with the rush included."

TRAVIS: Outstanding. 235 it is.

MATT: "I mean, extra coin means we might be able to call in some favors from others around."

MARISHA: We need it by the morn.

MATT: "By the morning?"

TRAVIS: 250, here you go. (rolls tongue) Poker chip shuffle.

MATT: "Oh yes, yes. By the morning. We shall work through the twilight. (laughs) Thank you for coming. The Emerald Curtain appreciates your patronage."

TRAVIS: He's going to close shop and f*cking run. (laughter)

ASHLEY: I'm going to take the yellow thread and the needle with me.

MATT: You got it.

MARISHA: I'll take the--

TALIESIN: We're moving to Tal'Dorei! Pack it up now! Go, go, go!

MARISHA: Take the dyes and the fabrics. So they didn't do good at metal. We still need to maybe find an armory and a magic shop.

LAURA: A jeweler.

MARISHA: A jeweler.

MATT: There are jewelers and there are metalworkers around here. You can easily enough find materials that can match what you're looking for.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: So we don't have to individually roleplay every small purchase of tiny little details.

ROBBIE: We don't have to, but we could!

MATT: I'm following your lead on this.

LIAM: Costume jewelry.

TALIESIN: Magic shop, a quick bar crawl.

LIAM: Costume jewelry? For looking good?

ROBBIE: I'm going to need three more Davids.

MARISHA: Well, we'll go to a magic shop.

LIAM: Or components?

MARISHA: We'll go to a magic shop.

LAURA: Yeah, I want to go to a magic shop.

MARISHA: But for expediency, can we say I pick up some gold chains and some gold boning? Metal rods?

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: Okay, and then we'll have a craft night.

ASHLEY: Yes.

MARISHA: And a bolt of fabric.

ASHLEY: Yes.

TALIESIN: Yeah, we'll go through some stuff. Everyone gets to share.

MARISHA: New blouse.

MATT: One of the tailors present does have a specialization in bodices, so they have multiple types of boning. Indeed, they do have some, to the color preference you'd like.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: All right, what else are you looking for now?

TALIESIN: I think now it's to a magic shop, unless--

TRAVIS: The Pentamarket?

LAURA: We need to get potions.

LIAM: Got to get some Celebones.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: More Celebones.

MARISHA: I was just thinking about those. I want those.

LAURA: Celebones are so cool.

MATT: You meander outside of the Tri-Spires, ask around here and there about what would be the best place to find magical enchanted artifacts, relics, things that could be helpful. Everyone sends you to the Pentamarket. There, you immediately are met with the smell of numerous snacks and foods. There are street carts, many of them still closed, but a handful that are still open and trying to call in the populace. You can see there's an air of attempting to recapture the bustle of a thriving city, coming out the other side of a recent bit of struggle and fear. As you begin to step in, you can see one cart, a gentleman with a big mustache that curls up the sides of his face, this big brush, who's like, "Come in, come through. You want pork on sticks, you want beef on sticks, I got you covered, come on, all home cooked, delicious," and is trying to give you guys food on the way through as you, whether you want to purchase or not, continue past, and you can see other figures are barking.

TRAVIS: I'm definitely taking a pork on a stick and giving him a silver.

MATT: Easy enough to do.

TRAVIS: Okay.

LAURA: Yeah, same. Sounds good.

MATT: There are noodle bowls.

LAURA: Ooh, noodles! I want noodles.

MATT: There are steamed vegetables.

LAURA: I want steamed vegetables.

TRAVIS: No, not that.

MATT: You start piling up snacks.

TRAVIS: "Dragon Ball Z" eating.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: I mean, knowing where you're going, there is something to taking in the comforts while you can. So you enjoy a number of these snacks.

LIAM: Are there pies?

MATT: Oh, there are pies.

LIAM: I buy two pies.

ASHLEY: Oh, yes. I want two pies, too.

MATT: They're a little stale.

TRAVIS: Arms of pies.

MATT: But they're not bad. Eventually, coming to the exterior of a building that a few of the purveyors here send you towards, it is a two-floor, dark green painted wooden structure with a lattice window on the front and a sign across the front in gold lettering that reads, "The Invulnerable Vagrant."

TRAVIS: Oh my--!

LIAM: Did you forget?

TRAVIS: Dude, I was sleeping on it.

LAURA: I totally forgot that's where we were going.

TALIESIN: You didn't even know that was the roll-up?

LAURA: I forgot!

TALIESIN: Oh man, I've been waiting for this.

LAURA: Oh my god.

MATT: As you step within the door--

TRAVIS: Oh boy.

MATT: -- which is closed, but it's not locked. You open up and a little bell rings (light tinkles) as you enter. Within the corridor, you can see there are tables and cabinets with display cases, many of them empty at the moment. And--

TRAVIS: Like my shirt?

MATT: You can see the light coming through with a few torches. (laughs) A figure steps from a side from one of the side halls or pockets at the sound of the bell and looks in, and you see a tall, firbolg man with a grayish-furred, a gray-blue furred face, wearing a leather apron over a, this would be like a teal-blue work tunic, like the gold bracelets are on his wrists. A curly mop of a brown hair with a bit of gray pressured through it. A big smile on his face with a ruddy, bovine-like nose, and the ears fold out to the side a bit. He looks out. "Oh, hey, yeah. Sorry. It's been a bit. Welcome, welcome. What can we do you for?"

TRAVIS: (laughs)

LAURA: Yeah, we're heading out on maybe something that could be a bit dangerous and are looking for--

MATT: "Adventurers?"

LAURA: Mm.

MATT: "It's been a minute. Yeah, yeah." (laughter)

ASHLEY: Oh my god.

MATT: "Kind of have a lot of things out on loan because of the recent--"

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: "-- recent chaos, but we do have--"

LIAM: What is the chaos? I keep hearing oblique references. What happened here in town?

MATT: "Oh, boy, yeah. You aren't from around here, are you?"

LIAM: No, sir.

TALIESIN: No.

MATT: "Okay, yeah. We had a big-- Do you know the area well at all?"

LIAM: No.

ROBBIE: No, no.

MATT: Another figure comes in, looks exactly like the first, just in a slightly different attire goes like, "What, we got customers?" (Pumat I) "Oh, yeah, no. We're having a story. Just hold back a second. If you want to grab-- They're adventurers, by the way. You want to grab anything that might be helpful in that regard we still got in stock? Not, you know, partially enchanted. Completed projects?" (Pumat II) "Yeah, I got you. No worries."

ASHLEY: What is happening?

MATT: He goes ahead and heads to the back.

LIAM: We heard about a bird?

MATT: "Yeah, big phoenix. West of here, there's a mountain range just north of Kamordah, Mount Mentiri, big quake, thing just split in two, a big old fiery bird flew into the sky and set much of that valley aflame, began to terrorize the whole region here."

TRAVIS: Was that other person the same as you?

MATT: "Yeah. Oh, sorry. I should've introduced myself. I'm Pumat Sol." The other one comes out. "I'm also Pumat Sol." You hear a voice muffled from upstairs. (muffled) "I'm also Pumat Sol. Hold on." (quick footfalls)

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: Emerging from the second floor comes down another one who is now carrying a bunch of sword blanks and goes and sets them off to the side. "Sorry. I didn't know if you heard me. I'm also Pumat Sol." They all look at each other. The first one who was talking you, "Pumat Prime is actually currently out and about getting materials. Yeah, the progenitor."

TRAVIS: (laughs) (laughter)

TALIESIN: This is like what the inside of my head is like all the time right now.

TRAVIS: It's not the weirdest thing we've ever seen, but--

ASHLEY: No, it's definitely not.

LIAM: So, did the bird, I'm so confused, pass through?

LAURA: Was it defeated?

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: "So, yeah, a lot of things have been happening. So, it was tearing through leaving swathes of dark fire all across this entire valley for the most part. The Righteous Brand armies tried to keep it at bay. Many of them fell. A bunch of folks rose up to try and, well, to stop it, and I guess they succeeded because it went away. I don't know the specifics since then, but--"

TRAVIS: Well, it went away. That's good.

LIAM: How long ago was that?

MATT: "It's about three days ago."

TRAVIS: Oh sh*t.

MATT: "I mean, it's been raging through here for the better part of two weeks, but not here specifically, like the Empire and beyond."

LAURA: Wow.

MATT: One of the other Pumats back goes, "Yeah, it's been real scary around here. We only just recently reopened, so good timing."

TALIESIN: Sounds like a big bird.

MARISHA: There is four of the same man and you keep asking about a bird.

LIAM: Well.

ROBBIE: Yes, are you like a--

LIAM: They're not breathing fire on me.

ROBBIE: A sibling, a clone, a magic?

MATT: "Yeah, well, more that one. Technically--"

ROBBIE: I said three things. The last part? (laughter)

MATT: "The correct term is simulacrum."

ROBBIE: Simulacrum?

MATT: "Yeah."

ROBBIE: Oh, of course.

LAURA: We fought one of Ludinus'.

ROBBIE: You did?

LAURA: Yeah.

ROBBIE: You've done so much since I've been gone.

LAURA: I know. Well, I'm sure you were doing some sh*t, too.

MARISHA: That's right. That's what Snowdinus was.

MATT: "Ah."

MARISHA: Are you made of snow?

TRAVIS: He's a simu-sacrum.

MATT: "Technically, yeah."

MARISHA: (gasps)

TALIESIN: What?

LIAM: Oh.

MATT: "Well, as part of the initial enchantment process, and should any of us be disenchanted or destroyed, we would probably return to snow, but that's not a thing we like to think about often because it sends us into an existential spiral, and that's a real dark place to go for things that were created and crafted from nothing and will return to the nothing."

TRAVIS: Oh my god.

TALIESIN: Was a tuber involved, a couple pieces of-- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

MATT: "Anyway."

TRAVIS: Socko. It's Socko.

ROBBIE: (laughs)

MATT: One in the back goes like, "Were we the first?" They all stop and go, "I don't know, Pumat. We don't know how many Pumats there have been." One in the back goes, "Anyway. We got customers." (laughter)

TRAVIS: Whatever you have in stock.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: "Right, right." (claps) Chop, chop.

TALIESIN: We're going somewhere cold, too. We're going to be seeing some weird sh*t. So big fan of weird sh*t, whatever the f*ck.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: "We'll see what we can find." The two other run back. The one stays there up front making sure that you don't take anything.

TALIESIN: This place is too weird to steal from.

MATT: While you're sitting there waiting, you can hear them rummaging through and trying to find things that have been finished or enchanted or were still kept in the back, and he sits there. "So, who are you? If you don't mind me asking, respectfully."

TRAVIS: Well, we're the Bells Hells.

LIAM: Out-of-towners.

TRAVIS: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: Passing through.

MATT: "Okay. All right. Cool name."

LAURA: Well, yeah.

ASHLEY: We think so.

TALIESIN: It's less champions and more, I don't know.

TRAVIS: Chuckle-f*cks?

TALIESIN: Agents of circ*mstance? Weird times require people to get their sh*t together.

MATT: "Ah. So you're starting out. I appreciate that. Don't worry, chums. You're going to find yourself a realm of adventure and let the winds carry you to majestic heights of glory and all the things the storybooks tell you about. I guarantee it."

LAURA: Thanks, Pumat.

TRAVIS: That's a very optimistic outlook.

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

TALIESIN: Mostly just want the sky to chill out, really.

LAURA: Do you have anything that'll keep us from dying, though?

TALIESIN: Oh yeah. Big one.

MATT: "Okay. You're looking for like imbibeables?"

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: Yes.

MATT: "I think I know where I can find some of those." He goes ahead and looks back behind the main desk area. You can see him looking around. He puts up a bunch of empty glass vials on the counter. "My goodness. We're running pretty ragged at the moment. Ah, ah, got a couple of things here." He sets what looks like seven different vials on the counter. At this point, the other Pumats come down and grab a few things, start setting down a set of leather armor and goes, "All right, that's good." Takes another piece and looks at it. "Oh, ah, this isn't finished. All right. I'll put that back." You see they're trying to sift through what's mid-enchantment, what is completed enchantment, and what has been not sent out in recent endeavors. It pulls this leather armor you see is this a beautiful set of heavy studded leather that has a gentle green-blue curved inlay into it, and there is a rune emblazoned on the chest that looks like an arcane symbol for, you would recognize it as part of the Ashari symbols for wind.

LIAM: Hmm.

MATT: There is also a beautiful dark gray robe with silver inlay, long sleeves, and there is a jet black rune that is woven into the material on the back. Then, the third thing they pull out that seems to be finished, is a beautiful harp, this wide harp that has 12, no, sorry, 10 strings across the side, and it has a gripped handle on one side of it. "All right. Is that all we got?" (Pumat II) "Yeah. In about two weeks we should have some more supplies coming in. We'll have more finished. But if you're looking to shove out soon, this is what we got at our disposal. So, sorry."

TALIESIN: Do you guys-- Do you all know how to do custom enchantments? How long does that normally take?

MATT: "Oh, yeah, we can do that, ah."

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: They all look at each other.

LAURA: (mimics Matt) Ah.

MARISHA: (mimics Matt) Ah. (laughter)

TALIESIN: There sounded like there was a "but" at the end of that.

MATT: "Well, Prime's gone, and he's the one who has to helm the enchantment. You see, being a simulacrum, we have a limited amount of magic at our capability, and we've kind of expended it all. So we got to wait for him to come back before we can start any sort of immediate orders. But we can put it on back order for you, and when he does arrive, we'll notify you within three to four days, and we'll get started as soon as you have approval and initial payment put on file."

TRAVIS: Jesus.

ROBBIE: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Wow.

TALIESIN: We're going to be out of town for a bit, but if we roll back through town, that's a tempting offer.

MATT: "Please do. Happy to have you."

MARISHA: Yeah, can you give us a, you know, a lowdown?

MATT: "Oh, yeah. All right. All right."

TRAVIS: Heavy studded leather.

MATT: They start laying it out here. "Okay. What we got here. Let's start with this robe you inquired about. This is a Robe of the Midnight Rune."

MARISHA: Who?

MATT: "This is, well, let me show you." He lifts it, and you can see where it looked just like a plain robe, the sleeves going just past where the middle of the forearm is and they come to a point below, on the inside, the lining of it is a silver silk, like a translucent silver silk that seems to flow out in wispy strips.

MARISHA: Cool.

MATT: Then across the bottom of it too, it has slits on the side of the robe where the material flows out, and it seems to drift with it.

LAURA: Sick.

MATT: He says, "All right. So, well, while attuned to this robe, the wearer, it seems to give them more of a sturdy magical defense capability as well as keeping their mind a little clear when it comes to, you know, unwanted charms or fright that can grab your brain in the midst of things. The cool part, though, is when the rune on the back is activated, because it gives you about a full minute of enhanced magical prowess. It just makes you glow a little bit. So not keeping yourself too subtle, like having a little candle on your back for a smidge of time. You can do that about once a day."

ASHLEY and LAURA: (laugh)

TALIESIN: Enhanced magical prowess would really, really would only be useful for someone who actually has some magical ability?

MATT: "Eh, not a whole lot of people going to their front line with a robe to hit someone with a dagger."

TALIESIN: Seen some weird sh*t, but fair.

MATT: "Not judging." To give you specifics on that one.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: For this one, if you aren't wearing armor, your base armor class becomes 14 plus your dex modifier. So it acts as a base armor.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: It gives you an advantage on saving throws against being charmed or frightened. And, as a bonus action, you can activate the rune on the robe causing it to glow a bright red which gives low-light for 15 feet around the back of you.

ASHLEY: Interesting.

MATT: For that one minute while it's activated, your spell attack modifier and spell save DC increase by two.

TALIESIN: Oh.

LIAM: Mm.

ASHLEY: Damn.

MATT: But you can only use it once per long rest.

MARISHA: Modifier.

TRAVIS: How much for this--

LAURA: I'm petting it on the counter.

TRAVIS: How much for this item?

MATT: "This one here," pulls it open and pulls a tag out and looks at it. "This will run you about 9500 gold pieces."

LAURA: Oh.

ROBBIE: Oh.

TRAVIS: Good to know. Good to know. Looks like it would be worth every penny. What about this heavy studded greenish-blueish leather armor with the little scribble on it?

MATT: "Yeah, this is Zephyr Armor. This was actually specifically enchanted by a, what do you call it? An ambassador of the Ashari from Tal'Dorei?"

LAURA: Oh.

MATT: "This, we didn't make. This kind of fell into our hands. It's kind of an antique from about a hundred or so years ago. But, yeah, this here is while wearing it, it makes you a little more nimble, while you're moving around. It helps you keep out of harm to a certain degree. This has another rune on it to invoke or activate, but it's a different kind of magic. This one can call the very winds to your aid for a minute to help either, well, you can get creative in your mind." Specifically, you can see now it's white and silver on the edges with a blueish-teal coloration across it. While you have the armor and you're attuned to it, you have advantage on acrobatics checks and dexterity saving throws. When you invoke the rune, as an action, you can cast the Wind Wall spell with it.

TRAVIS: Oh yeah.

MATT: Once per day.

MARISHA: Whoa.

LIAM: That's sick. It is a beautiful, old piece. How much are you charging for that one?

MATT: "Let me find the tag. That one is 3500 gold pieces."

LIAM: Okay.

LAURA: Uh-huh.

LIAM: Okay.

LAURA: Mm-hmm.

TRAVIS: Well-priced.

LAURA: That final?

MATT: "The harp?"

TALIESIN: Mm.

TRAVIS: The harp.

TALIESIN: A harp?

MATT: "Yeah. So, this is an elegant piece. It's beautiful. This one, while the magic has been attuned to yourself, it invokes you with the capability of a fine musician." (laughter)

TALIESIN: Love auto-tune.

MATT: "It makes you kind of automatically teaches you how to play it. It's kind of incredible. Watch this." He takes it and picks up the harp. "I'm not attuned to it. I can't show you." (laughter)

MARISHA: Oh my god.

MATT: "But here's the cool thing. Watch this. Hey, Pumat, I need one of them arrows over there." They go, "Oh, yeah. Sure." He gives it to him. Takes the harp, pulls the arrow into the strings, and you watch as all 10 strings (strings plucking) buckle against.

LAURA: (gasps)

MATT: (arrow whooshing)

LAURA: It's a bow harp?

MATT: A foot from Ashton's head into the wall.

TALIESIN: (laughs)

LAURA: That's f*cking sick!

MARISHA: That's cool. That's f*cking dope.

TALIESIN: That was just f*cking cool.

ASHLEY: That is cool. I think you need it.

MARISHA: Do you feel like you need it?

LAURA: How much money you got?

MATT: "It kind of acts like a shortbow."

ROBBIE: It's a satyr thing.

ASHLEY: I mean.

LAURA: The harp is a satyr thing.

ASHLEY: I've had a harp before.

MATT: "And what's cool, pay attention." When you look where the arrow is, the arrow as it impacted, the wood around it cracked like there was a slight--

TRAVIS: Burst.

MATT: -- burst of energy. You hear this (energy bursting) to the side of your neck like there was a burst of tiny thunder.

TALIESIN: Kinky.

MATT: "Also, I had some enchantments built into it. You see these two runes along the side. "These are two spells that are baked into it. With it, you can either create a powerful blast of thunderous energy in the space around you, knocking people away, or you can send a bunch of little tiny magical things to hurt things you don't want to keep around." Specifically, to go through the details of this, you can shoot arrows from it as a shortbow. Arrows shot from it do thunder damage instead of piercing damage.

MARISHA: Mm.

MATT: While you're attuned to it, you have advantage on charisma performance checks.

LAURA: Ooh.

MATT: And you know how to use a harp.

MARISHA: And you know how to use a harp.

MATT: Yeah. You just know.

ROBBIE: I'm just f*cking saying.

MARISHA: You download the skill.

MATT: Yeah. You Neo it pretty quick.

ROBBIE: Yeah, yeah.

MATT: It does give you plus two to attack and damage rolls with the arrows you fire from it.

ROBBIE: Mm.

LAURA: sh*t!

MATT: But it also has 10 charges, and it regains 1d6 plus four charges at dawn every day. But while you're holding the bow, you can expend one to five charges as an action to cast either Thunderwave or Magic Missile.

LAURA: Holy sh*t.

MATT: At a level up to how many charges you've used it for using your spellcasting DC.

LAURA: Level five Magic Missile?

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: This is, you know--

ROBBIE: Do you have a ring?

TRAVIS: I don't know about harps, but how much does this run?

MATT: That's eight--

LAURA: (astounded stammering)

MATT: That's 8d4 plus eight.

LAURA: Holy moly!

MATT: You don't have to roll, they just (rapid fire) anime missile it.

LIAM: What'll that run us?

MATT: "Ah, the harp will run you about 8,000 gold pieces."

ROBBIE: Okay.

LAURA: f*ck.

ASHLEY: Damn. So 3,500, 9,500, and 8,000.

MATT: "We also got these vials here. Since you're going someplace dangerous, we got some healing potions--"

LAURA: Oh right, we need potions. that could be of helpful to you."

ASHLEY: We really need those.

MATT: "Here, here. We got a--"

LIAM: We should've asked for more money.

LAURA: I know! Why didn't we ask Keyleth for 50,000 gold?

MARISHA: (laughs)

LIAM: (laughs)

TRAVIS: I blame myself.

ASHLEY: Oh, that's right, how much did we--

MARISHA: "I blame myself."

LAURA: He gave us 10. How much you holding onto, Chet?

MATT: "There it is. Got three of these greater healing potions at your disposal right there for sale. Ah, all right, and then we got--"

MARISHA: Do we know what Otohan's blade does? Did we ever figure that out?

TRAVIS: Yes.

MARISHA: We do.

TRAVIS: We do.

MARISHA: Is someone going to use it?

MATT: "We got one of these little babies here, superior potion."

TRAVIS: Well, I mean it did--

LAURA: Whoa!

TALIESIN: We could also drain that permanently into somebody.

LAURA: Superior.

MARISHA: Mm.

LAURA: Oh, yeah, we need to drain it. The sword and the--

MARISHA: I know.

ASHLEY: Oh yeah, we should.

MARISHA: That's the thing. Thinking about stuff we can (slurps).

MATT: "Ah, that's where it is. There technically is another one there. So there are two of the superiors--

LAURA: Ah, okay. Is that yours?

TRAVIS: Two superiors?

ROBBIE: No, this is sitting here.

MATT: Two superiors available for purchase.

LAURA: Who got the superior? You got the superior?

MARISHA: I have the superior. I don't think I've used it.

ASHLEY: Where did this one come from?

MARISHA: That's why it's here.

ASHLEY: Because I don't think that's--

LAURA: That might be yours.

ASHLEY: Because I don't think I had one.

LAURA: We were dumb.

TALIESIN: Everything got shuffled.

LAURA: We always just put potions in front of us.

LIAM: We should just start putting them (comical stammering) in here.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

LAURA: I know, because when we move our stuff and--

TALIESIN: We'll re-divvy it because we can re-divvy.

TRAVIS: Two superiors and three greater?

MATT: Mm-hmm.

TALIESIN: Well, let's go--

TRAVIS: How much do the superiors run?

MATT: "Superior's about 2,500 gold pieces."

MARISHA: f*cking expensive.

TRAVIS: And the greater?

MATT: "And the greaters are 250 gold pieces each. Then we got these last two here." He holds up one of these potions that has a thick yellow fluid in it that has these weird streaks through it.

ROBBIE: Hmm.

MATT: Black material. "This here's a potion of speed. Imbibe this baby and you'll be running all over for about a minute, just getting quick and doing things even quicker."

LAURA: (laughs)

ROBBIE: (laughs)

TALIESIN: I mean--

LAURA: How much is the speedy potion?

MATT: "That one's 3,000 gold pieces."

LAURA: f*ck!

MARISHA: Jesus!

ROBBIE: Criminy!

ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay.

MATT: "What? Got to run a business here. These materials are expensive, hard to find."

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LAURA: Yeah, I get it.

TALIESIN: No, no.

ROBBIE: Sure, sure.

MARISHA: We understand. Highway robbery!

MATT: "Another one here," and the other one has this thick molassesy material that has a dark metallic color to it. "Eh, that doesn't look like it tastes good to swallow, and I can guarantee it doesn't, but drink it and it's going to, for about a minute's time, make you shrug off some of the heavier bits of, well, anything that comes at you. It's a potion of invulnerability."

MARISHA: Oh!

ASHLEY: Whoa.

MATT: "It gives you a resistance to pretty much everything for a minute."

LIAM: That's legit.

LAURA: That's a big potion.

ROBBIE: For one minute.

LIAM: That's legit.

LAURA: That's a whole fight.

MATT: "That one's only 500 gold pieces."

TALIESIN: How is that only five--

MARISHA: How is that-- I know!

LIAM: Because it's temporary. It's for one--

LAURA: But it's a whole minute. But the speed potion is only a minute, too.

MARISHA: So is the speed one. Yeah.

LAURA: But that gives you an extra action every single f*cking--

LIAM: Single use.

MARISHA: Like a Haste situation.

MATT: It casts Haste without concentration for a minute on you.

LAURA: Without concentration. That's clutch. And you don't get exhaustion after.

MATT: Mm-hmm. Well, it's still the Haste spell, so it does still--

LAURA: Oh, you do still get the--

MARISHA: Exhausted?

MATT: It does still stun you for a minute afterward.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: So. Or for a round afterward.

MARISHA: What's your AC?

LAURA: My AC is 14, yo.

ROBBIE: Oof.

MARISHA: So is mine.

LAURA: Really?

ROBBIE: For that cape?

MARISHA: Is your dex-- Someone should get that cape.

LAURA: My dex is plus three.

ROBBIE: One of you two for sure.

MARISHA: You should take that, then.

LAURA: That's expensive, though. It's almost 10K. I don't know if we have that much to get that and other things.

ASHLEY: If we all pool together.

MARISHA: You should get that.

ROBBIE: I'm going to walk around behind the group to Orym, lean over and be like: You like that chest piece, don't you?

MARISHA and LAURA: (gasp)

ROBBIE: I see you watching it.

LIAM: Well, it's an antique from home.

ROBBIE: I know. I saw it in your eyes. How much do you have on you right now?

LIAM: Well, I don't have anything. Chetney has all the money I have.

ROBBIE: Assuming he splits it up, how much will you have?

LIAM: Well, 10,000 divided by 10 is a thousand.

ROBBIE: 1,200?

LIAM: No, there's not 10 of us.

ROBBIE: Seven.

LIAM: We split up that plus I have six silver.

ROBBIE: Oh.

LAURA: Chet has all the money.

ROBBIE: Okay.

ASHLEY: I could do a little five-finger discount.

TRAVIS: That's not true. I got f*cking wolf ears. You got your own money. (laughter)

MATT: "Oh, hey, hi! Hey." (laughter)

MATT: "If you all got a problem, you got to take it outside."

TRAVIS: No, no. I'm sorry, sorry.

ASHLEY: No, no, no.

TRAVIS: I'm real hard of hearing.

ASHLEY: This is how we talk to each other, but we love each other, though.

TRAVIS: Your products are so nice. It's really hard to decide.

MATT: Another Pumat comes out.

LAURA: It's just really hard to decide.

MATT: "Is there a problem going on? You need help, Pumat?"

LAURA: No, we're fine.

MATT: "No, no, I got it. It's fine. Just having a disagreement."

LAURA: Figuring out what we can afford.

ROBBIE: With chaos that's going on, I'm going to whisper even louder.

MATT: (laughs)

TALIESIN: Yeah.

ROBBIE: If you want it-- and then I'm going to reach into my pouch, and this is no sh*t, I'm going to take out everything I've had since ExU season one, which is everything but my 22 silver, and I'm going to give Orym 2,500 gold.

LAURA: Wow.

ROBBIE: That's every last piece I have.

LAURA: That's all your money? You just gave Orym all your money?

ROBBIE: That's it.

LIAM: That's too much.

LAURA: That's cutie.

ROBBIE: It's also practical. It's the only thing I can afford. (laughter)

ROBBIE: Listen, you're not getting the Gucci bag, okay?

ASHLEY: Yeah. (laughter)

ASHLEY: You're getting the Gucci wallet. (laughter)

LAURA: And you're going to like it.

ROBBIE and ASHLEY: (laugh)

ROBBIE: But only if you want it.

MARISHA: Okay.

ROBBIE: It's 8K.

LAURA: Let's talk above the table.

MARISHA: Let's talk above the table.

TALIESIN: Talking above the table.

ASHLEY: Okay. Okay.

LAURA: I've got a thousand gold on me.

MARISHA: I have 3,500.

LAURA: Wow. Okay.

MARISHA: I haven't bought anything.

ASHLEY: I've, yeah. I've got 3,800 gold.

LAURA: Wow.

LIAM: I have six silver.

MARISHA: We should try and strike a deal.

ASHLEY: Plus 12 platinum.

LAURA: Yeah, 100%.

MARISHA: Is there anything that we can maybe tradesies?

LAURA: I know. Because if I, I mean, not that it's probably worth much, but I have the ring of protection. So I won't need that at all--

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: -- if we get that cloak.

MARISHA: Yeah.

TALIESIN: I have seven gold.

MARISHA: Is it plus one AC?

LAURA: It's plus one AC.

MARISHA: Okay. Because I also have the ring.

LAURA: Oh, it does give you--

LIAM: Do you know what I have?

LAURA: Plus one on saving throws. What?

MATT: Ring of protection does actually stack with that, just so you know.

LAURA: (gasps) It does?

MATT: Because ring of protection gives plus one to AC, and what this does is if you're not wearing armor, it just makes your base armor higher.

LAURA: Oh sh*t.

MARISHA: What do you have?

TALIESIN: It stacks?

LIAM: A sword from the f*cking moon.

ASHLEY: Stacks on stacks on stacks.

TRAVIS: Are you interested in purchasing items?

MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: Moon sword.

MARISHA: I have the Ruidian glass dagger.

MATT: "Well, I mean, yeah. Certainly. All sorts of--"

MARISHA: So we can--

MARISHA: Those are super rare.

LIAM: They're the only two on Exandria.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: That's true. That's true.

MATT: "Yeah, I mean, you know, that's how we get a lot of our stock."

LIAM: They're going to f*cking break.

MATT: "We don't make everything here. We make a lot of it."

LAURA: You tradesies?

MATT: "But we also take things for trade. We also take things that can be broken down and repurposed."

TRAVIS: We have this one bottle of slickshimmer oil. Here, take a look. Don't steal it!

MATT: "(laughs) I wouldn't even dream of it."

TRAVIS: How much would you pay for that?

MATT: "Hmm. Slickshimmer."

TALIESIN: I also have 1,000--

LAURA: I think I have your pearl of power.

TALIESIN: -- gems, worth of gems.

LAURA: By the way, if you want that back.

MATT: "Hold on a second." He pulls up heavy goggles and puts them on, starts rotating it. You see little runes glowing on the sides as he rotates it.

MARISHA: It might be a good thing to-- (slurps)

MATT: "Ah, okay."

MARISHA: -- suck up.

ROBBIE: While he's looking at it, I'm going to lean over to Laudna and I'm going to go: Do you think they have a soul? The, what did he call them?

MARISHA: The Pumat Snows?

ROBBIE: The Pumat Snows. Do you think they have a soul?

TRAVIS: The Pumat Snows.

ROBBIE: I mean, or are they just a thing?

MARISHA: I mean, they have--

LAURA: That's an existential sort of question.

MARISHA: It's a very existential question.

ROBBIE: But is there an answer?

MARISHA: We have to believe they have souls because we have to believe that FCG had a soul, right?

LAURA: He did.

ROBBIE: Oh. Well, that puts my idea in a different perspective.

MARISHA: Oh my god, wait. I could be persuaded. What was your idea?

LAURA: Were you going to--

ROBBIE: I don't know!

LAURA: -- try to kill them?

ROBBIE: (sputters) Well I--

LAURA: This is in your head, I say.

ROBBIE: This is in my head, I would assume. (laughter)

ROBBIE: I know this. Well, it's not really killing if they're not really alive, is it?

LAURA: It's killing.

ROBBIE: Why is it killing?

LAURA: It's killing because you would kill something that lives and breathes--

ROBBIE: Are they breathing?

LAURA: -- to take something else.

ROBBIE: I did not see in and out.

LAURA: Plus, anybody who's working in a shop like this--

MATT: "I'd say that'd knock about 400 gold off your top agreed total--"

LAURA: Oh, that's great.

MATT: "-- on any of these items that come to your perusal. Yeah, here's your oil."

TRAVIS: How many did you say? Sorry.

TALIESIN: 400.

MATT: "About 400."

TRAVIS: 400? Okay, slick.

LIAM: What if we told you we had a few very rare pieces with us?

MARISHA: Very rare.

MATT: "Oh ho! Well, please! Hey, boys! (claps) Pumats! Looks like we might have some fancy possible trade aesthetic. So, yeah."

TALIESIN: Are we really doing this?

MATT: "Gather round." Two others come down.

LIAM: I guess.

MATT: (Pumat II) "Oh, we got new ones in? New possibilities? (Pumat I) "I'm excited to see what they got." (Pumat II) "Yeah, me too. It's been a bit since we've had any sort of intake here. We've been running thin for a bit."

TALIESIN: Let's put it down, see what they say before we tell them where we got it.

LIAM: Okay, I rip it free of the vine work on my back and I put down a Ruidian blade.

MARISHA: I will take out the Ruidian dagger. I have two of them, but I'll just take out one.

MATT: Okay. "Oh. That's interesting. You don't often see glass as the basis of an object."

LAURA: Not quite glass.

MATT: Takes and look at it.

MATT: "Hold on." (adjusting lens)

TALIESIN: This is good to know.

MATT: "Ah, now this is-- No, no, it's not. Thought this might have been residuum. No."

TALIESIN: No.

LIAM: Never seen anything like this before.

TALIESIN: Or if you have, we'd love to see where.

MATT: "I'm having a hard time with this one. Do you want-- Eh, we're the same." (laughter) The other guy's like, "Yeah. If you don't know, I'm not going to help you either."

ASHLEY: If you don't know, I don't know. (laughter fades to pleasant sighs)

MATT: "Yeah, if you don't mind me asking, where'd you procure these curious artifacts?"

MARISHA: You'll never guess.

TRAVIS: But we'll tell you.

MATT: "Hot boi?" (laughter)

TALIESIN: Wrong fan. Wrong fan!

MARISHA: No, wrong fan. (laughter)

MARISHA: f*ck! sh*t!

LAURA: I just point up.

MATT: "What, did you find them upstairs?"

LIAM: Higher.

MATT: "That's as high as the building goes. Roof?"

TRAVIS: ♪ Can you take me higher ♪

TALIESIN: The big red one in the sky.

LAURA: That's where we got the glass.

MATT: "Ah, you're pulling my leg."

TALIESIN: I'm a terrible liar.

MATT: They all look at each other. One of them goes, "I mean, we all know it's been getting weird. It hasn't been over this side of Exandria in a few weeks here. So who got this to you? How can you guarantee this is from the moon?"

MARISHA: You're looking at them.

TALIESIN: We got back a day ago, at best.

MARISHA: I unhook the Reiloran behemoth finger yet again from my belt buckle.

MATT: It's soft.

LAURA: Ew!

MARISHA: Throw it on the table with a little squish.

MATT: (squelches)

TRAVIS: It just lands.

MATT: "(uncomfortable vocalizing)"

MARISHA: Yeah, no bounce.

MATT: It has a terrible scent.

MARISHA: Mm.

TALIESIN: I've got some smaller pieces of armor that I pulled out to--

MATT: "So, if I understand, you, fresh-faced adventurers, you're looking to strike your own, went to the Moon of Ill Omen and acquired strange glass weapon relics that were left there?"

TALIESIN: Is Minor Illusion a free spell?

MARISHA: It's not, but I can do it again.

MATT: They all look at each other again.

TALIESIN: Do you want to maybe--

LIAM: Are you able to show them stuff?

TALIESIN: Show them what somebody who lives on the--

MATT: "I don't mean to make you feel weird on the spot. This is just a lot of--"

TALIESIN: Show them what Reilorans look like.

MATT: "We've heard some tall tales in our time to try and strike a deal and, you know, we have to be discerning."

MARISHA: It might be-- Do you want to do-- I can do an illusion unless you want to do a little mental projection.

LAURA: I can try.

MATT: "Respectfully, we're just trying to make sure--"

LAURA: In his head, he's going to hear: It's not a lie.

MARISHA: (laughs)

LAURA: We were there.

MATT: One of them's like, "You all right?" And they're like, "Yeah. You're one of them head-talkers."

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: "Okay. All right. That's impressive."

LAURA: Have you been around a lot of Reilorans?

MATT: Don't even know what that is.

LAURA: Those are the people that live on the moon.

MATT: Are you saying this all in the head?

LAURA: Mm-hmm.

MATT: It's just quiet in the room as you're staring and the other one's like, (Pumat II) "You sure you're okay there, Pumat?" (Pumat I) "Shh! We're talking." (Pumat II) "Oh. Weird." They sit back and cross their arms. The first one's like, "(uncertain stammering) Whatever these raimans and your moon is thing, we don't go out too often. We just stay here."

LAURA: You said your Pumat Sol Prime--

MATT: "Right, no, he's--"

LAURA: -- is out?

MATT: "He's not home right now. Yeah."

LAURA: He's off fighting?

MATT: "I don't know where he's off going. Probably getting more materials or reaching out to some possible beneficial allied guilds in the vicinity to try and get our flow of materials through here again."

LAURA: Makes sense. A lot of high magic users are off doing other things right now.

MATT: "Yeah, no. We gathered that much."

LAURA: There's a lot of sh*t going down. We can use all the help we can get. We've seen some sh*t.

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

ASHLEY: Come on.

LAURA: (goofy babbling)

LIAM: Get that discount.

MARISHA: Come on.

LAURA: Where'd it go? ♪ Ooh! Hoo hoo hoo hoo ♪

MARISHA: Come on.

LAURA: 31.

MARISHA: Ooh.

ROBBIE: Jeez!

MATT: After this minute and a half of tense silence as you watch Imogen and one of the Pumat Sols soft "Scanners" for a minute.

LAURA: (laughs) ♪ ("psychic" humming) ♪

MATT: (laughs)

ROBBIE: (laughs)

MATT: No. (laughter)

MATT: This Pumat goes, "Well, I got to tell you, boys, they seem to be on the straight and narrow for what they're saying. I can tell you, I don't know the capabilities of these materials you're presenting here. They are very unique at a glance. Because you don't have any historical precedent for what this glass may be, that doesn't mean it's not of interest to us. We're just going to have to make you a deal. Let us talk amongst ourselves for a minute, if you don't mind." The three of them huddle.

TRAVIS: We'll huddle up over here.

MARISHA: Feel free to take one, if you want to do a little inspecting on it.

MATT: "Yeah, I'll take one of them. Take it that. You mind?"

TRAVIS: So as far as I can tell--

TALIESIN: They are delicate.

LIAM: And real sharp.

TALIESIN: And very, very sharp.

MATT: "Oh, I got you."

TRAVIS: As far as I can tell from inventory, one platinum ring, two gold rings, one gold bar, three sapphire, three emeralds, 400 gold for the slickshimmer oil, and a bag of roughly 250 gold worth of various jewels, we have 17,655 gold.

MARISHA: Okay.

TALIESIN: I think I still have 1,000 jewels on me as well.

LAURA: Is that with everybody else's money, too, added in? Or is that all that?

TRAVIS: That's just the bank of Chetney, baby. (laughter)

LAURA: Whoa.

ASHLEY: Damn.

LAURA: Damn, Chet.

TRAVIS: Interest rates are high. (laughter)

MARISHA: Two platinum rings, that's good.

ROBBIE: I wasn't up there with you, but he makes a good point. Those swords that you had, that you're trading, are you certain they have no value outside of barter?

LAURA: I mean, they're useful in battle, for sure.

MARISHA: They hit a little harder, but they break a little easier.

ROBBIE: All right.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: I'll show you.

MARISHA: This is, just read this.

ROBBIE: Okay. (laughter)

ROBBIE: There it is.

MARISHA: There it is.

MATT: "No words."

TALIESIN: Laudna makes index cards for everything we--

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: They convene for a few minutes looking at the object, looking at each other, talking a bit, huddling. Eventually they come back into the central chamber with rest of you, set the dagger down they looked at. "Okay, so we've convened amongst the Pumats, the Council of Pumats, if you will. This is a very unique material we think we'd be excited to show to Prime when he comes back. We can only gauge this based on the properties we can glean after giving it a solid once over. We're not certain if it seems to be pliable or if it already contains an enchantment within itself. But regardless, it is a very rare material, and even at the baseline of what its worth might be, we can gather for each of these pieces based on the size, the dagger, at least, we can knock about 1,000 gold off of the asking price."

LAURA: Of each item?

MARISHA: Pumat.

ASHLEY: Per--

MATT: "Each item?"

LAURA: Oh, I thought you meant of each item.

MATT: "Oh, yeah. Yeah, how many daggers you got?"

MARISHA: Well, I have another one, but--

MATT: "So if you got another dagger, that's 1,000."

LAURA: Uh-huh.

MATT: "And you have this--

LIAM: Shortsword.

MATT: "-- shortsword you got there. That one will about 1,500."

LAURA: Okay.

MARISHA: Pumat.

MATT: "Yeah." Yeah, all three go, "Yeah."

ROBBIE: (laughs)

TRAVIS: That's got to get confusing.

MARISHA: Beyond its magical properties, there are no other weapons like this on the face of this planet. You could charge a collector anything you want.

MATT: Make a persuasion check.

LAURA: The harp was 8,000?

TRAVIS: Yeah. The harp was 8,000 and you want the Zephrah armor?

LIAM: Mm-hmm.

TRAVIS: Then the gray robe, yes or no?

TALIESIN: 95.

MARISHA: Ooh.

LAURA: If we can get it.

MARISHA: Ooh, that's good.

TRAVIS: No,

LIAM: That's the mithral shirt plus extra stuff.

ROBBIE: With the cash I gave him and a dagger, you could get your--

LAURA: I've got 1,000.

MARISHA: 23.

ROBBIE: Get your thing.

TRAVIS: Oh, yeah.

MATT: 23, okay.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: The Pumats look at each other.

TRAVIS: You got 1,000, 2,500.

ROBBIE: I gave Orym 2,500.

LAURA: Fearne has 3,000.

TALIESIN: I think I have 1,000 gold worth of gems, too, that are just miscellaneous gems.

ROBBIE: ♪ I got no more money ♪

TALIESIN: I know we have other supplies, but I'm going to--

MATT: "Respectfully, I appreciate what you put forward here and I think there is merit to what you're saying, but also, and I'll be honest here, it's going to be hard to convince a collector that these are magical moon glass from a person we met that had a really cool spooky aesthetic and said they got them from the moon."

TALIESIN: He's not wrong.

MATT: "That all being the case, though, you've been very nice and we'll bump it up a little bit. We'll say 1,100 for the dagger and 1,600 for the shortsword. How about that?"

ROBBIE: Hmm.

MARISHA: (laughs)

LIAM: Cool thing is, it's true.

MATT: "I'm not doubting you, just saying we have a bit of a challenge to present that info second, third, and fourth-hand to possible collectors."

LAURA: That makes sense.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LAURA: We don't have anything to prove it, do we?

MARISHA: I hate it.

ASHLEY: I know, I got nothing.

MARISHA: I mean, we could continue to show him sh*t, but I guess it's all the same story.

TALIESIN: I'll also say--

MATT: "There could also be a chance that we look at this a week from now and it's all a fabrication and you fleeced us, in which case, respect, but."

TRAVIS: You can do two superior healing potions, two greater healing potions. You could get the potion of invulnerability. You can get two of the big three items, but not all three.

ASHLEY: I also have about 3,900 that I can throw into the mix as well.

TALIESIN: Is that with my 1,000 also?

TRAVIS: Yep.

TALIESIN: All right.

ASHLEY: Then I'll be tapped out.

TALIESIN: I know where we're doing.

ROBBIE: Can't take it with you.

ASHLEY: Well, I'll have 69 gold left.

TALIESIN: Nice.

ASHLEY: Seems appropriate.

ROBBIE: Nice.

MATT: It's the book purchase.

ROBBIE: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TALIESIN: I personally think--

MATT: I got a whole bunch of numbers in there.

TALIESIN: I think the potion of haste is not a good pull for what it is. I'd say no potion of haste.

TRAVIS: You have 3,900 gold?

ASHLEY: 3,900 gold.

TRAVIS: How much do you have?

MARISHA: 3,500.

LIAM: I have potion of speed.

TRAVIS: Oh, you do? You have 3,500 too? Kids, numbers.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MARISHA: You asked me, I said 3,500. There were a lot of numbers floating around.

TALIESIN: 500 gold magic potion seems like a great, invulnerability seems like a great deal.

LAURA: Yeah, that's a good one. The speed one is maybe not so much.

TALIESIN: I don't think so. I think 3,000--

LAURA: Because that's 3K.

TALIESIN: 3K for a plus or minus is--

MARISHA: That's a lot of money.

TALIESIN: All three of the big ones, of course, sound amazing. I got no notes there.

MARISHA: (laughs)

TALIESIN: And healing potions.

TRAVIS: That'll do it.

LAURA: We have enough?

TRAVIS: That'll do it. You have 3,500, and you have 3,500?

ASHLEY: 39.

TRAVIS: 39, yeah, that'll do it.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TRAVIS: So you could get all three of the big items. You get two superiors, two greaters, the one invulnerability potion. That would be it.

LIAM: Who's using the harp? Are you going to rock the harp, Dor?

ROBBIE: I don't know, my gut tells me it's a saytr thing. Like I really, yeah, but--

LAURA: Use it.

ASHLEY: I don't know.

ROBBIE: I mean...

TRAVIS: I'll f*cking use it.

ROBBIE and TRAVIS: Yeah.

TRAVIS: If anybody's not right up on me, I'm kind of useless. I would love something range.

LAURA: You should have some range.

ROBBIE: I have one of the spells that it has, too, and I'm attuned to a string instrument already that you guys don't know about.

TALIESIN: Well, you could be attuned--

ROBBIE: To two, I guess.

TALIESIN: You could be attuned up to three things.

LAURA: But it would be good for Chet to have a ranged attack.

TALIESIN: I'll also say that it is spells that you also, you can switch spells daily as a bard, right?

ROBBIE: Yeah.

TALIESIN: It opens that up and then you wouldn't be using spell slots.

MATT: Actually, no. Bard spells they know.

TALIESIN: Bard spells are just stuck.

ROBBIE and MATT: Yeah.

TALIESIN: It's non-spell slots.

LIAM: Chet, with a harp, you can play Winter's Crest music now easily, too. (laughter)

ROBBIE: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Wow.

TALIESIN: You have an attunement spot, Chet?

TRAVIS: I do.

TALIESIN: Oh, wow.

ROBBIE: I'm attuned to two items right now.

MARISHA: They're not able to combine enchantments right now, the Pumats?

TALIESIN: Not without--

MATT: "See, we are assistants to enchantments. It's actually Prime that does the bulk of it himself as he is the endless font of magical prowess. When he returns, we'd be happy to fulfill your order, but 'til then, we're just more salesman. (laughs)"

TALIESIN: So yeah, the harp, I guess, is up you, then, Chet.

ROBBIE: Chet, I am maxed out on my attunements. I have three, actually.

TALIESIN: Oh well--

ROBBIE: Yeah.

TRAVIS: I'll take it.

LAURA: All right.

ROBBIE: Sounds like it's--

TALIESIN: So the robe goes to Imogen.

ASHLEY: Playing the harp.

MATT: "All right, you're trading this all in then?"

LAURA: You doing it?

MATT: "Dagger and short sword coming in. Knocking off 2,600 from that price."

TRAVIS: 2,700.

TALIESIN: 27.

MATT: "Oh right, yeah, I can say I went with that one. (laughs) All right."

TRAVIS: Yeah, we're doing it.

MATT: "You solid? We sold, handshakes, let's go in." The Pumats go around shaking all of your hands like, "All right, good game, good game. Well done, well done." (laughter)

LAURA: Good game.

TRAVIS: I only take high fives.

MATT: So with that, you do get this one. Whoever gets to second of these, mark it.

LAURA: We get two superiors.

MATT: So you have, since there's one right there on the table--

TRAVIS: Actually, we'll take the third greater as well because we can do another 250 for it.

ASHLEY: So what does that get us to?

LIAM: I'll take this one.

ASHLEY: We're going all in.

LAURA: 3K is gone.

ASHLEY: 3K or 39?

ROBBIE: Those are taken.

TRAVIS: 3,900.

ASHLEY: 3,900 is gone.

TRAVIS: I have all the ones you use.

LAURA: And my 1,000 is gone.

TALIESIN: I don't know why I have all of these because the possibility, I mean, I have too many, I want to give one to someone else.

MATT: There's the whoever wants the Harp of Valor.

TALIESIN: Harp goes to Chet.

MATT: Goes to Chetney.

MARISHA: Bye, golds.

MATT: There you go, buddy.

TRAVIS: Thank you, sir.

MATT: Zephrah Armor, I believe, goes to you and then the Robe of the Midnight Rune goes to--

TALIESIN: Imo.

MATT: There you go.

MARISHA: Imogen.

MATT: You can find them in the app as well. Then the Potion of Invulnerability, whoever wanted that. Well, you can decide later. Somebody take it there.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: "Well, it's a pleasure doing business with ya. Appreciate you--"

LAURA: Wow.

MATT: "-- coming and bringing your patronage to the Invulnerable Vagrant. And should the opportunity arise to come by in the future, to shake hands with Pumat Prime, we'll be happy to introduce you and I think we're very excited to see his excitement at studying this interesting new element glass-like material that you've procured from a, well, a terrifying and now invisible or not present red moon. Or wherever you're off to! Good luck. Pumats?" (Pumat III) "Yeah. Good luck!" (Pumat II) "Good luck." (Pumat I) "Good luck."

TALIESIN: Thank you, thank you, thank you.

LAURA: You can't see the moon from here. I didn't think about that. It's stuck over on the other side. Aww, it stuck over on the other side. FCG. It would've been proof. His damn flat, f*cking Exandrian.

TRAVIS: (laughs) That's so true. That's exactly what it-- (laughter)

LIAM: Oh!

TRAVIS: Exactly what they needed.

MARISHA: They died a flat Exandrian.

TALIESIN: He'd already graduated to the pancake theory of there being a backside to the flat, so--

LAURA: You're right, you're right.

TALIESIN: And we didn't walk.

ASHLEY: It's not letting me take this coin out.

LAURA: Nicer to keep it.

MATT: For one minute, it gives the effects of the spell of Haste without concentration.

TRAVIS: Yeah, we'll take that, too.

MARISHA: Yeah?

TRAVIS: Yeah, we can grind it up.

MATT: Sure.

TRAVIS: I mean, where the hell else are you going to need money?

MARISHA: Exactly.

MATT: That's what it's for.

TRAVIS: Okay.

LIAM: We're about to go arctic.

MATT: The Pumats help guide you outside of the establishment. The first one you spoke with leans out. "Thank you so much. Have a wonderful day. Don't catch fire from any massive dark flame firebirds, phoenixes, and the like."

TALIESIN: If we see it, we'll kick its ass.

MATT: "Yeah. Oh, by the way, if you're going to Labenda up north, swamp's flooded, avoid that. Merfolk have reclaimed the region there. There's a massive sinkhole in the middle of the Cyrengreen Forest and the surrounding trees begin to turn black and lean towards the pit. Maybe avoid the Cyrengreen as well. What else we got?" One of them runs back goes like, (Pumat II) "Oh yeah, Druvenlode's dead have been rising and climbing from beneath the dirt, so maybe stay away from there for a minute." (Pumat I) "What's been going on in the capital?" This one's like, the third one was like, (Pumat III) "Yeah, Rexxentrum's awesome in dealing with a number of phantom explosions and rumors of devilish entities, seeing the shadow of night amongst the streets, so maybe avoid the capital for a while now, too." The first one goes, "Yeah. It's real weird out there."

LAURA: Oh wow.

TALIESIN: Ah.

LIAM: Thank you, Pumats.

MATT: "Eh, our pleasure, Health." (laughter)

TRAVIS: Hells.

TALIESIN: Hells.

MARISHA: Hells.

MATT: "Sorry, was that incorrect? Bells better?"

ROBBIE: That was good.

TALIESIN: It's correct now, you hit it.

MATT: "Okay, well, respectfully, have yourselves a good day."

MARISHA: All right.

LIAM: I catch Dorian by the pinky. Thank you, that was, you didn't have to, I mean, thank you.

ROBBIE: Yeah, sure. I just like to see you happy. All of us. This was a good trip.

LIAM: It's a nice change. Good trip.

MARISHA: Well, do we have enough money to buy--

LIAM: Stay somewhere?

MARISHA: -- an inn? Yeah.

LIAM: Yeah, what do we have left?

LAURA: I have some gold left that was just little change gold. Yeah, that's enough for a room.

TALIESIN: We also have our patron, who I'm sure will be more than happy to keep us somewhere quiet, safe and comfortable so that we don't get them in trouble or embarrass them.

TRAVIS: There's always some more money.

MARISHA: (laughs)

LAURA: I go over and I hug Chet. Thank you.

TRAVIS: You're welcome.

LAURA: Yeah.

LIAM: You're good with numbers, old man.

MARISHA: You are.

ASHLEY: Thanks, Chet.

LAURA: Were you an accountant in your previous life?

TRAVIS: No, they're measurements.

LAURA: Over the years.

TRAVIS: Measure twice, cut once.

LIAM: I want you working on that harp tonight.

MARISHA: Yes, you should play us some tunes. Maybe Dorian can teach you a few.

ROBBIE: I would love to do a duet with you.

TALIESIN: Do you know "Stairway to the Astral Realm?" (laughter)

ROBBIE: It's a classic. It's the first one you learn every time.

ASHLEY: Oh, I love that song! Yes, so good.

TRAVIS: Okay, okay.

MARISHA: (claps)

MATT: As as we have this discussion, you see the illusion of Seth approaching with a long wooden stick with various grilled chicken breast pieces and various peppers along it, gnawing off it piece by piece. "So it seems you've been quite successful in your endeavors, yes?"

LAURA: We spent all our money.

MATT: "Good. You won't need it where we're going." Finishes the last piece.

TALIESIN: We do, on the other hand, need somewhere to sleep, something to eat, something to drink, and I think also any way to actually relax for probably what may be the last time in our lives.

MARISHA: Fearne and I need to have a craft night.

ASHLEY: Yes ma'am.

TALIESIN: There's also going to be a craft night.

MATT: "There are a few possible places here. Come with me, I'll show you." As you gather together as a group to wander from the front exterior of the Invulnerable Vagrant out through the Pentamarket to find the rest of the evening, we're going to go to break. (oohing)

TRAVIS: New duds, new weapons, new gig.

ASHLEY: Whoo!

MARISHA: Shopping episode!

MATT: Been a minute since you have one of those.

TRAVIS: Still have got 60,000 gold left. (laughter)

ASHLEY: For real?

LAURA: No.

TRAVIS: Ashley. (laughter)

ASHLEY: I don't know!

LAURA: After all that.

MATT: Awesome, see you guys here in a few minutes.

Break[]

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(creepy music) (ominous music) (adventurous music)

KIRBY: And now, a message from your Critical Role lore keeper: Dani Carr. DANI: We here at Critical Role know that life happens. Sometimes your friend becomes a rampaging werewolf that you gotta calm down. Sometimes your other friend needs help dealing with a dead lady in her head. We get it. And when life happens, we are not always able to watch four to five hours of Critical Role a week. That's why our lore department has been working tirelessly to find a way to make it both easier and faster to consume Critical Role's main campaign without losing that rich and vibrant tapestry of story and lore the Critter community has come to love. And after countless hours of hard work, we are happy to announce that we have found that way. Introducing Critical Role Abridged. Each episode of this lore keeper approved series has been carefully crafted by an incredibly devoted team to include everything you need to know to follow the Bells Hells stories all in about one hour. We've even added new pieces of artwork, bringing characters, items, and moments to life thanks to the help of our amazing community of artists from around the world. The time is now to begin your Critical Role catch up with abridged episodes of the Bells Hells campaign. New episodes air every Tuesday at 10:00 AM Pacific on YouTube. Beacon members receive two new episodes dropping every week on Tuesdays and Fridays.

(energetic music) (gentle music)

NICK: Strange happenings are occurring in the world of Exandria. Slayed creatures and beasts from days of yore are returning to the land of the living, and it's up to a band of unlikely heroes to re-slay them. Welcome to "The Re-Slayer's Take." GEORGE: Join Jasmine Bhullar, Jasmine Chiong, Jasper Cartwright, and Caroline Lux, alongside gamemasters Nick Williams, and me, George Primavera, in this Dungeons and Dragons fifth edition role-playing adventure through Critical Role's fantasy world of Exandria. But don't worry, you won't need to know the rules to follow this story. All you need to know is that nothing the players do is scripted or planned, and their fates are determined by their own cleverness and the roll of a 20-sided die. NICK: So what the heck are you waiting for? Adventure awaits in "The Re-Slayer's Take." GEORGE: Coming May 20th, to wherever you stream your podcasts. New episodes will drop weekly on Mondays. (upbeat music)

LAURA: Hey Critters! Laura Bailey here to guide you through what's new in the Critical Role shop. You need this? You probably need this. (gasp) Could anything be more perfect? Look at this. Isn't it fashion? So much fashion happening here. I mean the Traveler always says impulse purchases are a good decision. Style should never be a dump stat, darling. Go ahead, darling. Treat yourself. Roll an investigation if you want, it's basically perfect. This is a lot of stuff, you guys. We have, like, so many cool things right now. And hey if you want, you could head over to the Critical Role shop right now.

(tavern music) (adventurous music)

NARRATOR 2: What is the best thing to do when everything sucks and societies are crumbling and major conflict is simmering on the horizon? Yep, you guessed it: throw a heckin' rager! (upbeat strings) NARRATOR 1: Things have been slowly turning around for the better in the town of Stationary Hill, and word has broken, thanks to Saskia's double nature, that Sherman and Tzila are going to be getting back into town later tonight. So what better time to throw a combo town-rebuilding and homecoming bash? It's ideal! NARRATOR 3: That's not to say that Saskia's own inner torment and agony have dwindled. Indeed, if anything, she is at maximum rebellion, and is real, real hoppin' mad, and sad, and betrayed. NARRATOR 2: But she's putting on a brave face, with her Midst face, and true to her word has said nothing to anyone about her new moon knowledge. Nobody needs to know that here tonight.

(ominous music) (epic music) (mischievous music) (typewriter clacking) (peaceful music)

TRAVIS: Move the rook to B6.

MARISHA: Okay, see if that opens it.

LAURA: I'm trying it. [clicks] (gasping) [metal clattering] (cheering)

MARISHA: Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Wait, it's blank. There's nothing in here. What the hell?

TALIESIN: The phonograph said that the answer would be in the journal.

TRAVIS: Oh, maybe we missed something, like some clue we're not thinking of!

LAURA: Ah, we only have four minutes left!

MARISHA: Okay, okay, think.

TALIESIN: Okay. The song said, "Look to the beacon." Look to the--

MARISHA: Right. Beacon. Light.

MARISHA and LAURA: (gasp) The lightroom!

LAURA: Get it out.

MARISHA: Okay.

TALIESIN: Oh, uh!

MARISHA: Uh-huh.

TALIESIN: The cryptics!

LAURA and MARISHA: (scream)

TALIESIN: The key is in the cryptics!

LAURA and MARISHA: We know!

LAURA: So if every other letter--

MARISHA: Times two.

LAURA: -- is the combination--

TRAVIS: Did you say times? Times, like a clock. It's in the clock! But how do you open it?

LAURA: (uncertain noise)

MARISHA: Okay. What is it?

LAURA: Okay, it's six.

MARISHA: Okay.

LAURA: Two. Four.

MARISHA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: 624? It's 6:24!

LAURA: Uh. Zero. [unlocking]

MARISHA: (gasp)

LAURA and MARISHA: (excited noise)

TALIESIN: Guys, guys, I think I found it!

TRAVIS: But it's not opening!

TALIESIN: So how do you unlock this?

MARISHA: That's not the cryptics. This is a cryptics.

TALIESIN: Wait, I think if I push my fingers into... No, that's not working.

MARISHA: We just need the code word. What's a six-letter code?

TRAVIS: I think it's jammed!

LAURA: Arlo said that in order to find the answer we need, we have to look to the beacon.

MARISHA: Uh-huh. Right. But Colonel Popcorn's telegram says--

TRAVIS: (grunts) [clattering]

MARISHA: "Be Aware -(STOP)- Exciting New -(STOP)- Amazing -(STOP)- Critical Role Content Available at Beacon.tv. -(STOP)- Oh my god. No Idea How to Finish this Fake Telegram -(STOP)-"

TRAVIS: Reveal your secrets to me!

TALIESIN: Can either of you help me, help me with the--

MARISHA: That's not a cryptics!

TALIESIN: I am very aware. (groans)

LAURA: Okay. What about this? Huh? Um, it says, "Try using Beacon." [shattering]

TALIESIN: Hey, Travis. Could you help with the--

TRAVIS: Not now, dude, I'm trying to save us! We've only got 90 seconds left! [slamming]

TRAVIS: (shrieks)

LAURA: "10% off merchandise. Members-only Discord. Exclusive new series." Is that a clue?

MARISHA: I don't know, it just feels too obvious, like something that a lazy writer would try and shoehorn into a script.

TRAVIS: (shrieks)

LAURA: Well, that would also explain this.

MARISHA: I know. That's useless.

LAURA: Literally no one says "literally" anymore.

MARISHA: Exactly.

TRAVIS: We're running out of time, people! Come on!

MARISHA: Uh. Okay, we just need a six-letter word that unlocks this artifact and also unlocks amazing content!

LAURA: Also, would it kill you to try to help us, Ashley?

ASHLEY: What do you think I'm doing? While you all are busy sucking eggs in La La Land, I was making an improvised munitions charge that'll blow this door off with minimal loss of life and hearing.

LAURA: You don't explode a door, Ashley! That's not how an escape room works!

ASHLEY: Oh, really? Because that is literally what this is, an escape room.

LAURA: She just said "literally."

MARISHA: "Literally."

TRAVIS: 30 seconds!

TALIESIN: Help! It's again!

ASHLEY: Fire in the hole!

LAURA and MARISHA: (scream) [lever slams] [alarm buzzes] [door clacks]

KYLE: Hey, guys. Uh, good job or not, I guess. Tried your best.

LAURA: Did we do it? Did we escape?

KYLE: No. No, no, you didn't.

TRAVIS: Oh, so close.

MARISHA: It was the stupid cryptics. The code word was too hard.

LAURA: It was impossible!

KYLE: Was it?

MARISHA and LAURA: Yeah!

KYLE: What was the name of the detective?

LAURA: Detective Beacon.

KYLE: Yeah, it was Beacon. Yeah? And where did the murder take place?

MARISHA: Beacon Street.

KYLE: Yeah, yeah. And what was the name of the law firm that hired Detective Beacon to exonerate the Beacon State graduate from the murder on Beacon Street?

MARISHA: Beacon, Beacon, and Associates.

LAURA: And Associates.

TRAVIS: So what was the code word?

KYLE: It's Beacon! It's Beacon!

LAURA and MARISHA: Oh.

KYLE: Yep, see? Here's the room key and here is all the cool new info about Beacon, our new membership program that offers discounts, early access to the Critical Role podcast, and new content like "Critical Role Abridged" and "Re-Slayer's Take," along with exclusive content like "Fireside Chats," "The Crit Role Cooldown," and many more to come.

TRAVIS: So how do you get into the clock?

KYLE: You don't! That's just a clock!

TALIESIN: Kyle.

KYLE: What...

TALIESIN: I have a problem.

KYLE: What did you do? Those weren't even here for the escape room. Where did you even get those? (sighs) ♪ (gentle, upbeat music ♪ "Hello Bees") ♪

THE BEE KINGS: ♪ Hello Bees, it's me again ♪ ♪ Look to the Beacon, my old friend ♪

Part II[]

MARISHA: Don't look at it!

MATT: Welcome back. (laughter)

TRAVIS: We've never done this before.

MATT: Never. Ever. (laughter)

LIAM: Did she show you her third nipple on her back?

ROBBIE: Yeah, I know.

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: Don't look-- Don't talk about it!

ASHLEY: It's really cool.

TALIESIN: Can't look at it, can't talk about it.

LAURA: I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

MATT: Professional.

TALIESIN: Yeah. All right, yes.

ROBBIE: Right, yes.

TRAVIS: Ball 33.

MATT: So. As you crest into the sunset of the day, as jumping to this side of Exandria, it is quite, far later. The evening, a dull change of color begins to creep in, as Essek, incognito, leads you to the edge of the Pentamarket, looking for a place to stay. The first place you stumble upon, the name of the locale is The Lodge of the Eclipse. It is quite a decent sized inn. You can already hear laughter and conversation from the exterior, as well as some undertones of music playing, not gently, but definitely like, more of a fiddle and a drum and maybe a-- Sure, we'll say jazz flute. Why not? It's fun.

ASHLEY: Yes, jazz. (laughter)

MATT: That sounds like Zadashian music taste.

ROBBIE: Yazz flute.

ASHLEY: I love this.

MATT: But as you step into the interior, the smell hits you before anything else. This floor is deeply ale stained, mixed with the smell of bodies, and it is fairly crowded here. You get the sense that establishments that offer alternatives to reality in these times of strife and fear tend to be very popular once the end of the workday concludes. A number of the Pentamarket populace are folks beyond within the city of Zadash are here, or in the process of gathering into the crowded interior of the tavern portion of the interior of The Lodge of the Eclipse. As you push through the crowd a bit, Essek, leading the way over towards the edge, there's the folks that are running the bar, and you can see there is a clerk desk that leads to a staircase that heads upstairs and to the right, you can see there's actually like a sitting pit with a number of benches set up and some other extension of the tavern tables and a small stage. The curtains are closed, here's no lights on it yet. But you do see, here with one of the raised smaller platform, less of a stage, more like a platform, you see three musicians that are playing the atmosphere. They're playing and bantering to each other. Most folks aren't paying attention to them directly, but just enjoying the atmosphere. But Essek goes up to the clerk, and you can see there's a halfling man, probably in his early 50s or so, massive, massive mutton chops that are mostly gray at this point, with streaks of dark brown. You can see his hairline is deeply pulled back to what could be almost described as a skullet at this point. It's about the hair starts about here and goes into a long Lord Farquaad--

ASHLEY: Awesome.

MATT: -- poof underneath.

ROBBIE: Yes!

LIAM: Yes!

MARISHA: Oh my god.

ROBBIE: Yes!

MATT: But he leans up towards Essek and the rest of you. "Oh, right, right. Hello, there. You're looking for a place to stay for the night? We've only got maybe two rooms left at the moment. Lot of travelers coming through. You'll have to pay a premium on that." Essek raises his hand to stop him and goes, "We'll take both, whatever you have." (clerk) "All right. Well, we've got one tiny little room here that's available here on the bottom floor. We've got one of our suites, actually, just opened up, the patronage came to an end, but earlier this day as they travel on. So quite a large room for you there. Both of these, I'll ring you together for the night's rent or are you taking them for the week, the month? Essek's like, "Just for the night." Looks back to the rest of you. "Right?"

LAURA and MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

MATT: "Just for the night." (clerk) "All right, all right. That'll put you at about-- Trying times, prices are a bit driven up there." Essek leans forward and says, "Please, charge what is correct," and does a subtle hand motion.

MARISHA: Why have we never thought to use it in that way?

LAURA: Yeah, we should've done-- We couldn't have done it.

LIAM: Suggestion.

MATT: The fellow beneath goes, "No, right, right. I mean, people need places to stay. People need places to feel safe. I completely understand. You all look like you're passing through anyway, so I'll run it down for both rooms at about a gold piece for the two for the night."

ROBBIE: Oh.

TRAVIS: Incredible.

MATT: Essek nods and tosses him a gold piece.

ASHLEY: You've got that.

LIAM: Is he floating again?

MATT: No.

LIAM: No?

LAURA: No, he's Seth.

LIAM: (sighs) I want him to float and I want him to be purple. (laughter)

MATT: Well, you don't know about him floating.

ASHLEY: I want him to be purple!

TRAVIS: I want his feet off the floor!

MATT: You have not seen him float yet.

ROBBIE: (laughs)

MARISHA: (laughs)

LIAM: Yes, I have, Matt! (laughter)

LIAM: Yes, I have!

MATT: Liam has!

ASHLEY: (laughs)

MATT: (laughs)

ASHLEY: We probably would've seen it.

LIAM: I've seen him float all over the place! (laughter)

MATT: Caleb has.

TRAVIS: Didn't he float briefly when he dropped his disguise?

LAURA: He didn't float.

MATT: It would've if it wasn't for the antimagic field.

TRAVIS: Got it. Retcon.

MATT: So he never would've-- He never even kicked into that.

MARISHA: Do you think he has the skinniest legs?

LAURA: Yeah.

ROBBIE: Oh!

ASHLEY: Because he doesn't use them?

LAURA: He misses leg day constantly.

ROBBIE: Yeah. Svelte.

ASHLEY: (laughs)

MARISHA: Svelte.

LIAM: Has he got Morrissey legs?

MATT: He's a svelte built figure already.

TALIESIN: Exercise bike because--

MATT: He definitely probably has to do his squats to make sure he keeps it up.

LAURA and ROBBIE: (laugh)

MATT: When nobody's home, he's just like-- (grunts) (laughter)

TRAVIS: Air squats.

LAURA: He's floating, but he constantly does little pedal motions. (laughter)

MATT: Also viable.

MARISHA: His own little Peloton under there.

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: Time to bake those cakes.

LAURA: He just kind of shimmies all the time.

ASHLEY: It's one of those--

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: The two keys are meted out between your group, as Essek takes them in. Hands the finer looking one that has the suite number on it and holds it out. "For your--"

ASHLEY: Thank you so much. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Fight me for it.

TALIESIN: Rollies.

TRAVIS: Fight me. Let's go.

ASHLEY: Okay.

LIAM: Rollies.

TALIESIN: Rollies.

TRAVIS: Slow ass.

ASHLEY: Well, we can all sleep in there, but let's--

LIAM: But who gets the key?

ASHLEY: What?

TRAVIS: What?

ASHLEY: 12?

TRAVIS: 17.

ASHLEY: sh*t.

ROBBIE: Ah.

MATT: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Fine.

TRAVIS: Here, Fearne, I got this for you.

ASHLEY: Oh, thank you so much.

TRAVIS: Punk-ass, it's mine. (laughter)

MATT: Essek just goes, "Invigorating." (laughter)

LAURA: You sure you don't want to bunk with us?

MATT: "I'm so absolutely sure."

LAURA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: I don't think you should sleep alone.

MATT: "I'm fine. Trust me."

ASHLEY: I know you're fine. But we're really fun at sleepovers.

MARISHA: You should at least come up and hang out for a little bit.

ASHLEY: Just for a little bit. Just a drink.

MARISHA: Room party!

TALIESIN: This is the people you're going to be leading through the middle of the snowy wasteland.

ASHLEY: The better you know us, the better you know--

LIAM: One drink?

ROBBIE: So much peer pressure.

ASHLEY: Time.

MATT: One of you make a persuasion check with advantage.

MARISHA: It's a room party.

LIAM: Maybe Imogen should do it.

MARISHA: And we're crafting our new outfits.

MATT: No, the two who were talking.

LIAM: (laughs) Oh no.

ASHLEY: I'll do it. I'll do it.

LIAM: Maybe Imogen--

LAURA: I'm the one that started that, so I should be the one that does.

MATT: (laughs)

LAURA: ("gotcha" laugh)

TRAVIS: (laughs like Laura)

ASHLEY: Ooh, okay. Would you consider that co*cked or no?

LAURA: No, that's a 15.

ASHLEY: Okay. 15...

TRAVIS: No, it's a 15. Why would it be co*cked?

ASHLEY: 28.

MATT: 28!

ASHLEY: Get your ass upstairs right now!

TRAVIS: Jesus.

TALIESIN: It's not like hanging out with a group of new people--

LAURA: We're a persuasive group.

TALIESIN: -- has never worked out for him.

ASHLEY: We are a persuasive group.

MATT: Essek glances over and you can see the stage is now starting to light up and the music's shifting as the musicians have trekked over and a couple of others have joined them at the base of it at these two side tables. It looks like an evening burlesque show has begun.

ROBBIE: (gasps)

MARISHA: That's really--

MATT: As the lighting shifts, Essek goes, "Yes, actually, I would like very much to--"

TRAVIS: (laughs) Yes!

MATT: "-- stay with you for conversation in your room immediately."

LAURA: Immediately?

ASHLEY: Oh, you don't want to stay and watch? Okay.

MATT: "Not really a fan of the theater."

ROBBIE: Wait, there's a show happening right now?

LAURA: A burlesque show, it looks like.

MATT: You glance up and you see an MC. You can see on the wings, a few performers are robe-covered, waving. You see an MC walk up, this wonderous femme presenting half elf in this fine suit with a high collar and pointed shoulders.

LIAM: Meine Damen und Herren

MATT: Reaches out and goes, (grandiose) "Everyone, thank you so much for joining us here at the Eclipse. Tonight, we present to you, a fantastic spectrum of performers and dancers." You can see as he begins this presentation, some of the folks in the tavern are leaning over and looking, not really caring much. Some are starting to grab their drinks and move over to the--

TRAVIS: You want to go get a seat in the front?

MATT: -- handful of tables over other there.

MARISHA: Yes, we should go--

ROBBIE: I'm already walking over.

TRAVIS: Okay! Dorian!

ROBBIE: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

ASHLEY: Same, same, same. (laughter)

MARISHA: Just for a little bit.

MATT: Essek goes, "(deep sigh)"

ROBBIE: (claps excitedly)

LAURA: I'll hang at the back with Essek.

MATT: He leans against the wall with you.

LIAM: (like "Cabaret" Emcee) Even the orchestra is beautiful. (laughter)

MATT: But indeed, it has a vaudevillian vibe to it. There are some dancers that come through. A beautiful, voluptuous, half orc who comes out with gold across their tusks with chains that tangle and attach. You can see there is--

ASHLEY: Cool.

MATT: -- a wonderful bubble dance with an arcane crafted sphere that's semi-translucent to give the shadow beneath as this wonderful water nymph looking water genasi treks across the stage. You can just see the outline shadow. You have a wondrous muscular, athletic looking, dancer body, human male, dark skin and a bright smile, who is out there doing a silk act, as the silks descends from the top, and begins to carry himself up there and begins to flip around and catch himself into midair splits.

ASHLEY: Oh!

MATT: The audience is into it. A few folks in the back are watching from a distance, but also having their conversation. But it is definitely a lively place in here. You take a moment to look at the crowd around. You can see most folks in here, as deep into the cups they might be, there is definitely an air of necessary escapism. You can see the, the sinking of posture. There's a certain energy after people suffer trauma. You can see a lot of these folks are engaging eagerly at this opportunity to celebrate art. Essek's still sitting in the back with you, Imogen. As much as he's standing a bit frumpily, you can't help but catch him occasionally like-- (soft clapping) (laughter)

MATT: You about to say something?

LIAM: Just that Orym, and maybe all of us, but certainly Orym, is chasing that feeling of happiness and fun while feeling everything fighting at the back of the brain.

MARISHA: Laudna, in the front row, is going to turn around to the people who are chitchatting and being disrespectful.

MATT: (boisterously chatting)

MARISHA: I'm going to use Thaumaturgy to throw my voice a little bit. I'm going to say: Appreciate the performance!

TRAVIS: (demon whispers)

ALL: (demonic whispers) Appreciate the performance.

MARISHA: And Unsettling Presence them.

LAURA: Oh!

ROBBIE: Oh jesus!

LIAM: (laughs)

MATT: (rude customer) "I have to go." One guy gets up and is holding the back of his pants as he exits.

ASHLEY: No, sit down!

TRAVIS: Back of his pants!

MATT: Oh yeah!

ROBBIE: Oh wow.

TRAVIS: Brown outed him.

MATT and MARISHA: (laugh)

MARISHA: Well.

ASHLEY: Well. (laughter)

MARISHA: I can't knock that. (laughter)

LIAM: I thought it was fart, but I was wrong. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Table! ♪ ("Chop Suey" ♪ by System of a Down") ♪ (laughter)

LAURA: In Essek's head, I'm going to say: I know this seems like a rowdy bunch, but it's been a pretty trying 24 hours. I think everyone needs this.

MATT: A few beats before Essek responds. "I understand more than I might have long ago. In years as of late, I've come to appreciate the necessity to carve moments of joy. I think that's maybe something those of us that live longer lives have a harder time appreciating."

LAURA: Mm.

MATT: "So yes."

LAURA: Do you ever get used to it? It feels a little bit like, like a betrayal to feel happy.

MATT: "I felt that way for a long time. But I don't believe that anymore. It feels that way, yes, but that's-- It's only because so much of our history tells us that pain is, pain is what gives purpose. But as a wise man once told me, it is not pain that makes people. It's love."

LAURA: Well, as a wise one once told me: It's good to make every day a smiley day.

MATT: "I don't know if I follow the specifics on that, but I appreciate the--"

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MATT: "I'll think on that a bit, I suppose."

LIAM: I think while you two are talking to each other and you're at the back and looking forward, you can see Orym laughing at what's happening on stage, but looking to the right, and back to the stage. Just keeps, he looks to the right.

MARISHA: Laudna's going to get up after a minute, swipe one of the bottles of wine on the table. I'm going to get crafting.

ASHLEY: Yeah, me too.

MARISHA: All right.

ASHLEY: Let's go. We got to get to work.

TALIESIN: You're going up crafting?

ASHLEY: Yeah, we got a lot of work to do.

MARISHA: We're going to go up crafting.

TALIESIN: I'll see you in a little bit. I'm going to give Fearne just a nice hug.

ASHLEY: Oh.

LAURA: Aw!

TALIESIN: See you up there in a little bit.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I'll see you up there in a little bit. Look at you, you're a little pink in the cheeks.

TALIESIN: A little bit, sleight of hand check. (laughter)

MARISHA: Oh!

ROBBIE: Let's do it!

MATT: Roll perception, please.

ASHLEY: Roll? Okay, okay. Let's go with this one.

TRAVIS: Smooth.

TALIESIN: Okay.

LIAM: Now let the dice match it.

ASHLEY: Okay. Okay.

MATT: What'd you get?

TALIESIN: Do you want to go me first? 21.

ASHLEY: sh*t, I had 20.

LIAM: Oh! (laughter)

TALIESIN: You're not legal enough to drink here, motherf*cker. (laughter)

MATT: What were you going for, Ashton?

TALIESIN: I, actually, quietly grabbed a little bit of your-- As we were hugging, you've got that little lace frill that's already on.

ASHLEY: Yeah, yeah.

TALIESIN: I grabbed some and finish the tear of a piece and swiped it off and put it in my pocket. It was already coming unfrayed.

ASHLEY: It was.

TALIESIN: Yeah, just grabbed the thing.

MATT: (laughs)

ASHLEY: It was. I hear a little bit of the tear happening and I'm like, Ah!

LAURA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Okay. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Kind of make my turn quicker to help it.

MATT: All right.

MARISHA: As I pass by, I give Imogen a little kiss. See you upstairs.

LAURA: Be up in a moment.

MARISHA: Don't mind the mess. I'm going to get into it.

ASHLEY: Yeah, we've got a lot of work to do.

TALIESIN: I'm going to sit next to Essek before they head up anyway, on the other side.

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Quietly.

MATT: So Essek is standing in the back with Imogen behind all the tables.

TALIESIN: Yeah, so I'm going to give them a little bit until they're finished--

MATT: Okay.

TALIESIN: Drink and occasionally look over.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Actually--

TRAVIS: Chetney's sitting in the front row, legs out, slumping in the chair, baguette in one hand, a bottle of wine in the other. (laughter)

TRAVIS: f*cking riveted. (laughter)

ASHLEY: A baguette? (laughter)

TRAVIS: (chugging)

MARISHA: Legs out.

TRAVIS: (munches)

MARISHA and MATT: (laugh)

TRAVIS: Incredible.

ROBBIE: Dorian is right beside him and clapping. (laughter)

ROBBIE: Every time they do just a little something, he looks over at Chetney and he goes, like he's trying to--

TRAVIS: This is quite an act. So talented! (laughter)

MATT: The MC steps out after one of the comedy, pratfall, physical comedy performances finishes off off-stage and goes, "Everyone, we have straight from the glorious evening events of Hupperdook, a fantastic performance. We are in for a treat tonight. This is Madame Feathered-Face."

ASHLEY and LAURA: (gasp)

LIAM: Hey!

MARISHA: Feathered-Face?

MATT: As it pulls back--

MARISHA: (gasps) No way. Is it?

ROBBIE and LIAM: (laugh)

MARISHA: She would be of age.

ROBBIE: He can't give us anything.

ASHLEY: She would be of age.

LIAM: Barely.

TRAVIS: She comes out.

MATT: Not everything is connected.

LAURA: (groans)

ASHLEY: Maybe it is, though! (laughter)

TRAVIS: (poised) Go f*ck yourself. (laughter)

MARISHA: She would be working her way through college, at this point.

ASHLEY: I support it.

MATT: It's been seven years!

MARISHA: Yes.

LAURA: Yeah.

ROBBIE: Every NPC has a cameo!

ASHLEY: So that would make her--

MATT: I know! (laughter)

MATT: I'm already teetering on the edge. (laughter)

MATT: No.

LIAM: Oh boy.

MATT: You see a beautiful dwarven woman come out with a short robe that stops just above the knees and she has shapely, stocky dwarven legs that are smooth except for a trail of where the hair on the shins are has been carved into spirals.

LAURA: Ooh.

TRAVIS: Ooh!

ROBBIE: Ooh!

MARISHA: Cool.

MATT: As she steps out with these two fans that block her face, she begins to dance to the music. The music hasn't changed from the previous performance and you see her look over at the musician and kick the stage in his direction. They all look, "Oh" and they change to a slower pace. They weren't paying attention. She goes back into her show. Eventually as the fans turn and turn, blocking the face with each body spiral into a lift-leap and then a down. These ropes descend from the top of the stage. You can see the two gentlemen off to the side that are handling the winch. She goes and grabs one and as they pull back up, she lifts into the air, and then as she reaches the top of the rope, she begins to swing back on it, the other hand holding the fans covering it. She leaps from one rope to the other and as she separates both of the fans, you can see where the beard would be, there's a mass of beautiful golden feathers that form a beard off the front of her face.

ASHLEY: Cool.

MATT: As as she leaps towards the other rope, she misses it--

LAURA, ROBBIE, and MARISHA: (gasp)

MATT: -- and tumbles for a couple feet before (soft flutters).

LAURA: (gasp)

TRAVIS: Oh.

MATT: The feathers pick up.

TRAVIS: Wow.

ASHLEY: (laughs)

MATT: She glides and flies around.

TRAVIS: Come on!

ASHLEY: Her beard feathers catch her?

ROBBIE: Oh man! (laughter)

ASHLEY: Oh yes!

TRAVIS: Amazing.

LAURA: That was amazing.

MATT: Hupperdook's the best.

ASHLEY: Yes!

TRAVIS: f*cking Hupperdook's bringing it.

MATT: Eventually, after fluttering around over the audience, doing a large loop around over the top of everyone, going through and occasionally tapping someone on the head, coming back and her hand touches the back of your ear--

TRAVIS: (sighs blissfully)

MATT: -- and pulls away as one of her feathers seems to wave at you, you think.

TRAVIS: (dreamily) Feather-Face.

MATT: (laughs)

LAURA: (laughs)

ROBBIE: I think she likes you.

TRAVIS: I think so, too.

MATT: Lands to a beautiful applause. With the finish of this wonderful performer, Hupperdook, as their finale performance, the night's burlesque comes to a close. A number of the dancers give a bow, audience cheers. People are throwing copper and an occasional silver to the stage. As the curtains close, some of them go back and put their robes on and begin to step out to mingle amongst the patrons and drink with them as well. The party's still continuing. Those of you who wish to stick around, you're welcome to. You have friends upstairs who are crafting. As the performance is over, Essek begins to get a bit antsy. "I will set my room for the evening and then perhaps we can sit for a bit."

LAURA: Wonderful. I'm going to head upstairs.

TALIESIN: Before you go actually, I normally charge for this, but I heard you talk earlier, and I'm on a side mission of self-discovery. Take a look at this.

TRAVIS: Oh f*ck.

ASHLEY: (gasps)

MATT: "Hmm."

LAURA: Smart.

MATT: "Looks like a--"

TALIESIN: I'm going to sit and I'm going to try and get it to go. I'm going to burn a rage to get it to do something interesting.

MATT: Okay.

LAURA: Oh, I'm going to, as I'm walking away, in Essek's head he's going to hear: If you can do it, I wouldn't suggest diving into his head. Almost got trapped in there before. I'll keep walking up the stairs.

MATT: He responds to you, "I appreciate the warning."

TALIESIN: I totally forgot to say--

MATT: He steps over.

TALIESIN: -- anything about that.

MATT: "Is this some sort of injury that you suffered earlier in your life?"

TALIESIN: Suddenly, it goes completely see-through. You can see entirely through my head in it and one of my eyes is also completely see-through.

MATT: "Strange indeed. Perhaps best not to do this in public."

TALIESIN: (shakes it off) It only takes four or five seconds and it goes away.

MATT: "Come with me," and leads you up to the chamber where the suite has been set.

TALIESIN: Cool. I got sh*t to do up there too.

MATT: As you head into the chamber, he looks a bit concerned and a weird excitement to his pace. "Come here, I need to find the light," and takes one of the lanterns from the hallway off of the hook and sets it closely. "Do you mind?"

TALIESIN: I am at your disposal. Please.

MATT: Grabs edge of your chin and holds the lantern up and looks into it. "What? What? Impossible." Sets the lantern down.

TALIESIN: I get that a lot.

MATT: Begins moderately casting an incantation, touching the center of his forehead and as he does, his eyes light up for a moment.

TALIESIN: It can get weird in there, just be careful.

MATT: "I have been assured not to look too deep, but-- Hold on," and he puts his hands together, weaves a thread in the air, and begins to draw these cursive-looking runes, and from it, grabs the center and plucks a small, dark bead, like a pearl.

MARISHA: That's so f*cking cool.

MATT: Then brings it close to the side of your head, and as he does, the inside of your head begins to swirl like a storm. You feel this tickling sensation on the back of your neck and up through your head. Those of you who are in the room who are, if any of you are paying attention to this since they entered the room and began to do this, as the pearl gets close to Ashton's head, these little spark-like lights begin to swirl within the glass, like a cosmic cloud of some kind is churning inside. like a cosmic cloud of some kind is churning inside.

LAURA: I think we've all stopped what we're doing and are watching this happen.

MARISHA: Yeah, in the mid-- Yeah.

TALIESIN: That's new. Mm.

MATT: "Indeed, it is." Dispels it and the energy (fizzles).

TALIESIN: I can agitate it again if you want to see it. It's random. I tend to find it syncs itself into four--

ASHLEY: Wait, are you doing anything to him? What are you doing?

MATT: "Are you familiar at all with dunamis?"

TALIESIN: No. Who?

MATT: "Dunamis is a particular pillar of esoteric magic within Exandria. It is a speciality of the Kryn Dynasty and is in essence derived from, (sighs) where to begin? There is an entity believed within Dynasty circles to be called the Luxon that long ago, before the gods and spiritual elements even took this world for their own creation, divided itself amongst Exandria into a number of artifacts. These artifacts, whether or not the myth holds any particular anchor to it, are extremely powerful sources of dunamantic magic. It is magic that tugs at and manipulates the very fabric of reality. Time becomes malleable. Gravity and entropy become weaponized and altered. The very space fabric becomes a weave to pull and stretch and fold. It is a very primal and rarely understood magic. Elements of it have been borrowed in other, more conventional practices. But dunamis, the basis, the energy of this magic is primarily a Dynasty focus and my particular life's long study. What you have, whatever this is, is a unique, organic source of dunamis."

TALIESIN: Well-- I will assume give him the long conversation from Primordial blood to falling out of a window and being put back together from its scraps. And that's when, that's when this kicked in. And I'm, just to do it, I'm going to activate the gravity roll with it, and suddenly everything, the color almost starts to roll.

MATT: Gets pulled slightly in, withdraws for a moment.

TALIESIN: Yeah, just six seconds of it.

ASHLEY: sh*t.

MATT: "And this just happened after you were reassembled?"

TALIESIN: Yeah. Yeah, I woke up that way.

MATT: Do you mention anything about the material that Milo had put in there as part of their process of repairing you?

TALIESIN: I'm going to think it to Imogen. You can hear it, right, if I--

LAURA: Mm-hmm.

TALIESIN: How much do I say?

LAURA: Well, if the Voice trusts him, I think we should as well.

TALIESIN: Yeah, I tell him.

MATT: He looks a bit spooked at the mention of this liquified dunamantic power. "Then it seems that the Assembly's machinations have their fingers woven deep into many things, but your very essence as well. So within you continuously swirls the ancient power of the Titans mingled with the very nature of the cosmos. You are a dangerous entity."

TALIESIN: People keep saying that. Just for fun, I'll hit one more and hit the rainbow probability sparkles.

MATT: "Now you're just showing off."

TRAVIS: (laughs)

TALIESIN: No, I never get to do this, so it's really nice.

ROBBIE: (laughs)

TALIESIN: Normally, this is just happening when we're beating the f*ck out of people.

MATT: "I will tell you two things."

TALIESIN: Now I'm getting tired.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

ROBBIE, LAURA, and MARISHA: (laugh)

MATT: "One, that is a remarkable, very unique thing that you carry with you and are a part of you. I would very much like the opportunity to study this some point after all of this, should you allow me. And two, do not share this with anyone else."

TALIESIN: I tend not to. You may be one of the first, other than these chucklef*cks.

LAURA: We don't know what the hell we're doing.

MATT: "There are a number of extremely powerful figures across Exandria that would love to take you apart piece-by-piece to understand what you have and what you are."

TALIESIN: Well.

MATT: "There was a time where I might have been one of them."

TALIESIN: Well, the right people trust you, so I'm going to trust you and I'm tired of not knowing myself. It's honestly been my biggest weakness.

MATT: "Hmm. You should not have trusted me."

LAURA: Oh. (sighs) Well sh*t, sorry.

TALIESIN: What?

MARISHA: Wait, did you just say don't trust you?

MATT: "You shouldn't trust anyone. I, (chuckles) as much as a word means, you have no worry from me. I am reformed in my dubiousness."

TALIESIN: Well.

MATT: "But--"

TALIESIN: I'm trying to, I don't know, I won't speak for everybody else but I have been trying to better myself lately and I will say that I've only recently attempted to redefine my old definition of friendship and love, which was the people you want to trust and I'm trying something new.

MARISHA: Yeah, and to be fair, there are a bunch of people who want to take you apart piece-by-piece who don't have a f*cking clue what goes on with you.

TALIESIN: No, I really honestly just, I will admit, attract it.

TRAVIS: The door bursts open. She gave me a feather!

MATT: (laughs)

TRAVIS: A feather.

ROBBIE: I told him she probably gives a feather to everyone at every show but he won't listen. He's transfixed with it.

TALIESIN: We know.

TRAVIS: She noticed me!

ASHLEY: It could mean something. You don't know.

LAURA: He's a special boy.

ASHLEY: Yeah. It's just for you, Chet.

ROBBIE: My head hurts.

ASHLEY: I'm sure it's just for you.

TALIESIN: Your hay fever is going to kick in any second.

TRAVIS: (moans euphorically)

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Smell it!

ROBBIE: I've smelt it three times already.

ASHLEY: What does it smell like?

MARISHA: What does it smell like?

ROBBIE: A feather. (laughter)

ROBBIE: What do you want me to say, cloaca? (laughter)

MATT: My favorite incense. (laughter)

LIAM: I think Chet's right. I think they had a special connection. I could sense it.

LAURA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TALIESIN: Birds of a feather.

MARISHA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Hey, should we--

TALIESIN: I want to sew.

ASHLEY: You want to sew?

LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got to start working on this robe.

TALIESIN: I want to sew.

MARISHA: Don't step on that chamber pot, it's been my dye pocket.

ROBBIE: Chetney, open your sack one more time. Thank you.

TALIESIN: I was going to be concerned, but now I feel better.

TRAVIS: Which one? (smirks)

TALIESIN: Oh, what are you dyeing, what color?

MARISHA: My skirt. I'm trying to go for a little bit of an ombre.

ROBBIE: Do you have paint?

TALIESIN: Oh, ombre! I want to do some ombre.

TRAVIS: I have paint.

MARISHA: Oh yes, I do, here you go.

ROBBIE: You have some? All right, thanks.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LIAM: What are you working on?

ROBBIE: (buzzes lips)

TALIESIN: I'd join you in that ombre.

ROBBIE: Aesthetic. (laughter)

LIAM: I thought you handed--

LAURA: I'm going to alter--

LIAM: -- all your toys over.

LAURA: -- this robe a little bit to make it work with my stuff that I ordered.

ASHLEY: Laudna helped me--

ROBBIE: I did the armor, but I still have--

TALIESIN: A couple things.

ASHLEY: Laudna helped me alter my jacket.

LAURA: (gasps)

ASHLEY: FCG's jacket.

TALIESIN: Oh, it looks really good.

LAURA: It fits you so well!

ASHLEY: Yeah, I think it looks good. I'm sewing on some pieces.

MARISHA: We could add a few more panels in back.

ASHLEY: A few more panels, yeah.

MARISHA: But it's pretty good.

ASHLEY: I'm putting the sleeves together, I used some--

LAURA: That's beautiful.

ASHLEY: Bits and baubles.

TALIESIN: I see! Oh, that's so cool.

TRAVIS: DM, I'm going to sit and start carving.

MATT: Okay. Essek has also dropped his illusion now.

MARISHA: Mm.

LIAM: Orym--

LAURA: That's better.

LIAM: -- drops to a knee--

MATT: "Agreed."

LIAM: -- next to you, Chet, off in the corner. Can I get into the bag?

TRAVIS: Are you sure?

LIAM: Mm-hmm.

TRAVIS: Okay.

LIAM: I reach in and pull out the Otohan blade. I don't make a big deal out of it.

LAURA: We're all watching.

MATT: Which one?

TALIESIN: We notice.

MARISHA: Yeah. (laughs)

LAURA: We're just like crafting and staring.

MATT: There's two blades, which one do you pull?

LIAM: The rapier.

MATT: Oh yeah, the rapier, the longer kind of saber?

LIAM: Yeah. I'll be back.

MARISHA: Where are you going?

LIAM: Outside. I'm getting some air. I'm going to--

MARISHA: That blade's bigger than you. We can all see you taking Otohan's blade.

LIAM: I hear her as I go down the stairs.

ASHLEY: He's allowed to do that, though.

TRAVIS: What was the name of the dagger?

TALIESIN: He may actually be--

MATT: The dagger was Scream Needle.

TALIESIN: -- doing something healthy.

LAURA: I don't think he's going to follow a sugar glider.

ASHLEY: Fair. Fair.

TRAVIS: I didn't get that one.

ROBBIE: I have Bertrand's old sword. I'm just waving a sword around.

TALIESIN: Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa! (laughter) (applause) (laughter)

LIAM: Yes!

ASHLEY: The hair.

LIAM: Yes. (laughter)

TRAVIS: (high-pitched inaudible speech) Holy sh*t. Never looked so good.

ROBBIE: But believe it or not, I'm going to put it down. I'm going to stop painting. I was painting my little mandolin, and I'm going to start tinkering with Bertrand's old sword, the Gambler's Blade.

LAURA: Aw.

MARISHA: Buh huh huh huh.

ASHLEY: Bertie.

LAURA: That's wonderful.

ROBBIE: Yeah.

MARISHA: Our first fallen party member.

ROBBIE: With the jeweler's tools that I pocketed from the store while no one was looking.

MATT: (laughs)

LAURA: Nice. Real nice. Essek?

MATT: "Yes?"

LAURA: I saw my mom mess with time. Does Ludinus have a lot of knowledge of this dunamancy?

MATT: "(sighs) Unfortunately, quite a bit."

LAURA: You said there are artifacts that contain a lot of power.

MATT: "Mm-hmm."

LAURA: Are they located in Aeor?

MATT: "It is believed that one either once resided there or may still reside there. But the Assembly has had access to one of these artifacts for some time."

LAURA: Mm.

MATT: "And part of that is my fault. So, in a way, I'm still paying my penance."

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: "In fact," and he points to Ashton, "part of the reason that is the way it is is because of what I gave them years ago."

LAURA: You're kind of like his dad.

MATT: "Oh, do not put that on me, please." (laughter)

TALIESIN: No, you are not.

MATT: He goes and begins to craft this weird glow of ephemeral magical energy in his palm, and then he flicks it in the air, and you see this illusion appear of a 12-sided relic that itself sparkles in a similar cosmic way as your head does.

ASHLEY: That's pretty.

TALIESIN: I've seen that.

MATT: "This is a beacon. These are the supposed fragments of the Luxon, and it is a mystery as to how many of these exist across Exandria, but a number of them have been long under control of the dynasty and considered the most holy of relics. They are the most powerful source of dunamantic power in all the world. Since the Assembly has acquired one or perhaps more since, they have exploited it in ways, been able to distill some of its power into a multitude of devices. This vial you speak of, they are one of the numerous byproducts of the Assembly's research."

LAURA: Does that beacon look familiar, anything we would've seen at the Malleus Key?

MATT: You do very much recall seeing something of a similar shape and design of the core of the Key right before everything fired the bridge off to the moon.

LAURA: I tell Essek as much.

TALIESIN: I've seen something like it in my dreams. Kind of. (chuckles) sh*t.

MATT: "You know. One of the hardest parts about trying to be a better person is the more time that goes by, you continue to realize how long and wide the ramifications of your actions might be."

TALIESIN: When you jump out of a window, you try very hard not to blame the quality of the glass. So, no harm, no foul. (chuckling)

MATT: "It's easy to say, but what if you were the one that pushed you out at one point?"

TALIESIN: I pushed myself out, to be fair. Well, I put myself there. I got enough blame for us both.

MATT: "Well, that certainly answers a few questions that I've had about how they were able to tether an astral body of that size to our planet. Between the combination of Aeorian technology, Ludinus' knowledge, the sheer volume of magical power and artifacts at the Assembly's disposal, and the timing of the solstice. But the fact that he's still toying with Aeor means that there's something he still needs."

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: "There's still something there that he requires, wants."

MARISHA: I think so.

LAURA: Something left before he can release Predathos.

MATT: "And that is a very promising thought, yes?"

LAURA: Do you think Predathos is connected to this Luxon at all?

MATT: "I do not know much about this Predathos beyond what my partner has told me. It seems like it's ancient, prehistorical."

MARISHA: Apparently, it eats gods.

MATT: "So I've heard. And to be honest, they can have them."

LAURA and TALIESIN: (laugh)

MATT: "But what I do not trust is leaving that choice in the hands of someone like Ludinus Da'leth."

MARISHA: Yes. Yes.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MARISHA: We've said that.

ASHLEY: Yes.

MARISHA: You said it better, but, yes.

ASHLEY: "You summed it up--

MATT: "I usually do."

ASHLEY: -- in a really nice way.

MATT: "Well. Knowing that a beacon resides at the center of the Key might give us a way, might give myself, and perhaps some other dunamancers that if they can see past--"

LAURA: (sneezes)

MARISHA: Bless you.

MATT: "Blessings."

TALIESIN: Gesundheit.

MATT: "Gesundheit. I learned that from my partner as well."

LAURA: (laughs)

ROBBIE: (laughs)

MATT: "If I could assemble a few other dunamancers who can see past my previous infractions, and I have a few ideas, together, we could disrupt, theoretically, the beacon that resides in the Key. Now, to do so would cut the moon free and end this bridge."

LAURA: Wow. Yeah, do that.

MATT: "That would mean nobody on or off."

MARISHA: Well, we sort of found a little back door portal to the moon, theoretically.

TALIESIN: Mm-hmm.

MARISHA: But maybe it's all about timing.

MATT: "Perhaps if you do what you need to do, if the Concord does what it needs to do, the Accord--"

TRAVIS: (whispering) Did he say destroy?

MATT: "-- we can utilize that as a way to perhaps cut things off should it go poorly, or close the door behind you if everyone manages to succeed."

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: Mm.

MATT: "I will put some thought to this."

MARISHA: Will you hand me those metal pins behind you?

MATT: "Oh, certainly." He brushes a hand and they glide over to your grasp.

MARISHA: Thank you.

TALIESIN: I would never stand up again.

LAURA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Do you have a lucky someone back home?

MATT: "I have someone, yes."

ASHLEY: Yeah?

MATT: "He, too, has and is wrestling with his demons."

ASHLEY: Oh.

MATT: "I think that's where we found common ground once. But he is kind, and he is smart, and he is so strong."

LIAM: (doubtful) Eh. (laughter)

MATT: "Of heart." (laughter)

ASHLEY: Cool, cool, cool, cool.

LAURA: (laughs)

TRAVIS: The smell.

MATT: "But he likely wouldn't be where he is today if it weren't for others to hold him up in times of need. So, I'm very glad you have each other. Solitude makes for dark thoughts and aimless wandering."

MARISHA: I don't know. I got very creative when I was alone.

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: "I can imagine. No judgment. Anyway, I should get to rest. I expended quite a bit of magic getting to you, bringing us all here, amongst other endeavors I had earlier in the day, and I would like to talk to my partner before I sleep. Have a wonderful night." This is the first time you've noticed as he goes to leave, he does not take a step. He glides out of the room a few inches off the ground.

LIAM: Ah, I missed it. (laughter)

MATT: As he leaves the room, you watch as his image shifts back into that of Seth's and then disappears down the hall.

LAURA: Do you think he casts a spell every time he does that?

ASHLEY: That is so neat.

LAURA: I want to float everywhere.

ASHLEY: I think you should.

LAURA: I'm going to cast Fly.

MARISHA: But it's so inefficient, Imogen.

LAURA: And just float up.

ROBBIE: Oh, that's--

ASHLEY: You just go up to the ceiling.

MARISHA: He's just doing it all the time.

LAURA: I'm just going to float up.

ASHLEY: Okay, that works.

ROBBIE: That's so neat.

ASHLEY: That works, I really like it.

ROBBIE: I'm still a little tipsy. I'm going to cast Fly on Chetney. Go, do it, too! (laughter)

TRAVIS: (thud)

ROBBIE: Oh, no, no. I'm sorry. Sorry.

TRAVIS: f*ck!

ROBBIE: Sorry.

ASHLEY: Little bit of pixie dust.

MARISHA: You stole Fizzy Lifting Drink.

TRAVIS: (thud) (laughter)

MARISHA: You bumped into the ceiling, which now needs to be cleaned.

TALIESIN: (as Wonka) You get--

TALIESIN and LAURA: -- nothing!

TALIESIN: Good day, sir!

ROBBIE: (laughs)

TALIESIN: (laughs) Oh.

LIAM: (sighs pleasantly)

MARISHA: As Laudna gets into very much a rhythm and in a mind palace as she builds, it seems almost seamless, and there are times where it's almost like you can see her zone out like she's not really on this plane of existence, or even her eyes are un-focusing as she's continuing to build, as it's coming at a seamless, as it's coming at a seamless, supernatural almost expediency as she builds.

MATT: Hmm.

TALIESIN: I met FCG, I'm sewing while I do this. I was paid to go check out something that had gone wrong in a mine. People had supposed to clear it out, and the people that got called, if I recall, it was a long time ago, never came back. Found an absolute f*cking slaughter. Everything was a mess, except for one machine who reactivated, helped me clear it out, and was irritatingly nice about the whole process.

ROBBIE: (pleasant chuckle)

TALIESIN: In that moment, I realized I found the perfect roommate who would do so much work to keep the place clean and not ask for rent.

LAURA and ROBBIE: (laugh)

MATT and MARISHA: (laugh)

TALIESIN: God, we even were supposed to rent one of those flying-- Well, yeah. I was just thinking about that. God, remember just sitting around beating the f*ck out of furniture?

LAURA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Yeah.

TALIESIN: (laughs)

LAURA: What a day.

TALIESIN: What a f*cking day. (sighs)

LAURA: Oh, thank you.

ASHLEY: It was just open there. I'm really into it.

MARISHA: Are you going to leave it like that?

LAURA: (laughs)

ROBBIE: I know I missed a spot.

MARISHA: All right.

LAURA: That was intentional.

TALIESIN: Just because it's not yours--

ROBBIE: Everyone's a critic.

MARISHA: No, I just was, you know.

ROBBIE: I studied art as a child for a long time, I'll have you know.

MARISHA: (mocking mumbles)

ROBBIE: Oh, now we're mocking each other, are we? Oh, so spooky.

MARISHA: (laughs)

LIAM: (laughs)

MATT: Meanwhile, outside under the starry night over Zadash, stepping beyond the Eclipse, Orym, what are you doing?

LIAM: Orym steps out onto the cobblestones of Zadash and sees the small miniature park across the thoroughfare and goes and sits down on a bench in this little area and lays the blade across his legs, this sword that he's seen at three pivotal moments in his life. Memories flash by, and of course he thinks about the day that he saw this sword run his father and his husband through. That bleeds into (sighs heavily) watching Laudna struck down, Fearne struck down, and visions of Otohan standing over him and just robbing the life from his lungs. He sees, from his position on the ground in a cave on the moon, watching Fresh Cut Grass erupt into light, and he thinks about all the people in this city and all the cities across Wildemount and Tal'Dorei and Issylra that don't fully understand what's coming. He just looks at this sword where it really all started for him. He stands above the park bench and grips the blade and feels the weight of it. It's a little heavier than what he's used to, and the grip is very different. The positioning is very different. He slowly steps into the Zeph'aeratam with this blade, feeling it out. Over the next few minutes, what starts slow gets a little bit faster, and he's alone in this park and begins moving through the positions. It gets faster and faster, and his arm is starting to ache with the weight of it for how long he is going through the motions, and he begins to sweat. After a few minutes, he just stops, exhausted and sweating in the night in the middle of a strange town on a continent that he has never been to. And he sees Ludinus, somewhere out there. He looks at this cursed sword, raises it up, raises his arm over his head, and presses the blade to his back and little tendrils of vine crawl all over it and affix it. Seedling and Otohan's blade rest side by side on his back. He just stands there sweating in the cool, Zadash air.

MATT: (soft plops) You can feel the beginning drops of a cool rain begin to spatter across your shoulders and head. They run down your forehead, bringing a welcome chill to the heated, sweaty, worked body of Orym. You glance up to see a clear sky if not but a single little plume of cloud that seems to be resting directly above you.

LIAM: I can even still hear the music from the burlesque playing from across the road, and I can't help but think of the people just trying to live their lives in the face of the impossible and how that's something worth fighting for. It makes it so that the weight of the blade on my back is not too heavy to carry. I think I just sit on the bench and take a little more time for myself.

MATT: Sitting on the bench as the rain still patters at the vines of Seedling grow out and root into the wood planks of the bench and grow across your shoulders, and for a brief moment, you feel like you could just sit there forever. In that moment, the rain feels warm. Like an embrace. It's been a minute since you felt her presence, but you can feel... You can feel the Wildmother touching your shoulders. You can feel that weight that presses your body down become just a little lighter as well.

LIAM: I can think of 50 questions and things I want to say to her, but I don't want to ruin the moment with words. I head back in.

MATT: Okay. The rest of you continue your crafting night.

MARISHA: At this point in time, Laudna has started to panic about the amount that still needs to get done.

MATT: Relatable.

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: (laughs)

MARISHA: Yes. The night before San Diego Comic-Con.

MATT: Yep. (laughter)

MATT: Know that well.

MARISHA: Four more hours of work to do on this f*cking cosplay.

MATT: Room smells of spray paint.

TALIESIN: This iron is not working.

TRAVIS: Hot glue gun stuck to the carpet.

MATT: Yup.

MARISHA: I can see everybody else trying to craft in a fury, so I cast Animate Objects on Sashimi so I cast Animate Objects on Sashimi as well as Sashimi's hut, the house that Chetney made, and it gets little legs like a little Baba Yaga hut and little arms.

ASHLEY: (laughs)

MARISHA: As well as Sashimi and then maybe--

TALIESIN: You need a little help?

MARISHA: Yes, oh! Yes, and a hand. I cast Animate Objects on the hand, and now we have a handful of little--

LAURA: Oh, I still have this horse that Chet made.

MATT: The horse, fine, everyone, anything. The chamberpot gets legs, and everything turns into little assistants that we have helping us. So I'm directing like it's "Fantasia."

MATT: (laughs)

MARISHA: The house is pitter-pattering, and I'm like: Get me the scissors!

MATT: Tim Burton's Island of Misfit Toys going to work in here.

ALL: Yes.

MATT: Pâté's perched on your shoulder being like, "Oh wow. That's pretty inspired there, love."

MARISHA: Oh, thank you.

MATT: You glance over and, if you recall, her little fun dead rat Pâté that she had crafted--

ROBBIE: Mm.

MATT: -- is now moving and talking on her shoulder.

LAURA: Oh sh*t, you never saw that.

ROBBIE: Ha, that's a neat trick. How are you making him do that? (laughter)

MATT: "Oh, it's a really fun thing."

ROBBIE: Oh, okay. You can stop now.

MARISHA: That's just him now. This is Pâté!

MATT: "Hi! It's good to meet you. It's been a bit. I was flopping around last time, but now, I'm always here."

MARISHA: He's a real boy.

ROBBIE: Oh, oh. Is it too late to back out of this now?

TRAVIS: Somebody hold Dorian. He's going to run. Hold Dorian.

MARISHA: No, no.

MATT: The vacuous darkness inside of the bird's skull stares at you as you focus and you swear you can see the faintest little spark of purple flame deep in. "(laughs)"

ROBBIE: Yeah, I assume he's still horny and disgusting.

MARISHA: Yes.

ROBBIE: Is he nice?

MARISHA: Yes!

ROBBIE: That sounded like a lie.

MARISHA: Well. (laughter)

ROBBIE: Hello, Pâté. It's nice to see you again.

MATT: "Put her there!"

ROBBIE: (shrieks)

MATT: The hand grabs you, latches onto your hand and holds onto it, and it skitters up your arm. (laughter) (laughter)

ROBBIE: (shrieks)

MARISHA: Like when a cat latches on.

ROBBIE: Oh, no, no. Oh, I just wanted to say hello.

MATT: "Hello!"

ROBBIE: Hello.

MATT: "Hello."

ROBBIE: Hello.

MATT: (saucy) "Hello."

ROBBIE: Oh, this isn't so bad. I'm tickling him. I'm tickling him. I like his laugh.

MARISHA: He's a bit of an acquired taste.

ROBBIE: Aw, taste?

MATT: "My turn," and he scurries up your arm and starts tickling all over your belly. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Oh my god.

MATT: Starts gently humping your elbow.

ROBBIE: All right, all right, all right, all right.

MARISHA: All right, all right.

ROBBIE: Here, you can take him back, and I'm going to put him on and hopefully he shimmies up.

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

TALIESIN: I can use a little bit of base help, too, just to wonder, and I put the Ashton toy down. Can we get a little? I need a little--

MARISHA: Yes, I turn the voodoo doll into a little doll, and they're all skittering around and Sashimi's--

LAURA: I'm re-upping my Fly spell and flying above.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MATT: You're just like (slow whoosh).

LAURA: Yeah, I'm hovering.

MATT: Like an astronaut up in the space station.

MARISHA: See Sashimi sewing up Fearne's skirt on the back and the hand is moving items and holding down leather as I cut it. (laughter)

ASHLEY: After some time, I'm going to go out and see where Orym is, because I feel like he's been gone for a while.

MATT: Okay. You step out and glance for a bit as you see him step out of a bench on a small park across the way and begin walking back towards the inn. You as you're heading down looking at the ground look up as the rain fades, and then look straight down into Fearne's eyes about 20 feet away.

ASHLEY: Hi, friend.

LIAM: Hey, Fearnie.

ASHLEY: Are you okay? I mean, that's kind of a dumb question.

LIAM: Then why ask? You know the answer.

ASHLEY: I know.

LIAM: You should talk. You had quite the heart-to-heart with dear old dad.

ASHLEY: Yeah. That was weird. Thanks for following and checking in on me to make sure Thanks for following and checking in on me to make sure I was okay.

LIAM: That's like breathing.

ASHLEY: We're going to be okay, right?

LIAM: I reach up and squeeze your hand.

ASHLEY: I pick him up and grab him.

ROBBIE: (whooshing) What are you two doing out here?

ASHLEY: Hey.

ROBBIE: Hi. I feel like it's been so much of them and not a lot of us. Hello.

MARISHA: The OG crew.

ROBBIE: Hi.

LIAM: Join in.

ASHLEY: Join in. Join in.

ROBBIE: Join in what? Is this a group hug?

ASHLEY: Yeah.

ROBBIE: I've been waiting for this since the moment I saw you.

ASHLEY: Yes.

ROBBIE: Mm. (grunts) 17 Strength. I'm giving it everything I got. (laughter)

MARISHA: 17's not bad.

LAURA: 17's not bad.

MATT: A couple of nice back pops and maybe one or two not nice back pops.

ROBBIE: (sighs)

LIAM: Boy. You remember when I held a blade to your chest and told you not to put that crown on your head?

ASHLEY: Whoa.

ROBBIE: That's right. Spoiler alert, I did not put that crown on my head. Otherwise, I wouldn't be here right now.

LIAM: I think about that every day.

ROBBIE: Every step of the way, I've thought about you. It's been a hard road.

ASHLEY: How are you doing?

ROBBIE: Oh, I'm all right.

ASHLEY: Yeah?

ROBBIE: For now. I don't know. There's no way to know. I've never been much for looking forward or back, but this, this is nice.

ASHLEY: This is nice.

ROBBIE: I'm glad we've all found our way. I don't want to be the one to drag us back into the party, but, well, not that it's a party, but--

ASHLEY: No, no, no.

ROBBIE: It's the closest thing I've had in a while.

ASHLEY: Well, I feel so-- I'm going to go back inside, but I'll let you guys catch up if you want to catch up. I don't know, if you want to, it's fine. I love you both, and I'm going to go catch some Z's. That just means I'm going to go to sleep.

LIAM: Are you tie-tie?

ASHLEY: I'm really tie-tie. So if you guys want to snuggle later, I'll be there, but I'm going to go back in and finish my dress. Good night. (smooches) Good night. (smooches) (quiet laughter)

ASHLEY: Bye.

MARISHA: She does that when she walks in.

LIAM: The little tail.

MARISHA: Yeah, the tail. (laughs)

ROBBIE: She's about the least subtle, isn't she?

LIAM and LAURA: (laugh)

LIAM: No, that's why we are so fond of her.

ROBBIE: Mm.

LIAM: You know, that day, I didn't want you to put that thing on your head because I didn't want you to drag yourself down with it.

ROBBIE: Mm.

LIAM: I've done so much sh*t since then. It makes it seem funny that I was so determined.

ROBBIE: I've never been accused of being wise, but I do think that life will drag you down but I do think that life will drag you down regardless of what you try to stop happening. You have to rely on the mooring and buoys of the people you meet along the way. You can't protect everyone all the time. Look at me. I'm here now. It might hurt to say, but without you. You don't have to save everyone. It's the rain, right? You've got rain in your eyes? (laughs)

LIAM: I tried to reach out a lot.

ROBBIE: I know.

LIAM: But you still got me through.

ROBBIE: I wouldn't be here without you, and now, I'm here with you. Come on. You're getting wet. I'll take his hand. I'll try to pull him inside with me.

MATT: It's interesting. As you step into the tavern and you look out, not a cloud in the sky.

ROBBIE: (laughs) Hm. It seems like a poor excuse now. (laughter)

MATT: There was rain, but it's gone. Gathering back up in the room, you all finish your evening of crafts. (laughter)

MATT: As much as you feel you can and need to for the evening. Some of you lulling off to an early, half-drunken slumber, and the others probably working way too late into the night, and practically running themselves into exhaustion, but just barely missing the cusp, until eventually, morning comes calling.

MARISHA: I think, Laudna, before you continue on--

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: -- is probably the last to fall asleep. She finishes her way-too-ambitious build. (laughter) Her eye catches Otohan's sword on the back of Orym's back.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

MARISHA: She's unnerved by that. It makes her eye twitch. She hates it.

MATT: "It's a dark memory, my dear."

MARISHA: Oh my god. Then--

TALIESIN: sh*t.

MATT: "To keep something filled with such terrible memories so close. (tsking tongue clicks) The wound will never heal."

MARISHA: Why is he carrying it? It's cursed.

MATT: "Maybe it's not Otohan that drove it through you. Maybe the blade drove Otohan. Wouldn't be my first foray with weapons of consciousness."

MARISHA: It's conscious? Do you think it could turn Orym?

MATT: "I don't know."

MARISHA: Tell me. You do.

MATT: "I'd have to hold it first." (chuckling)

MARISHA: We certainly seem to be mingling with a lot of members of the Cerberus Assembly.

MATT: "(laughs) Indeed."

MARISHA: You were one of them, right?

MATT: "I was, once upon a time."

MARISHA: Did you know Ludinus?

MATT: "I did."

MARISHA: What do I need to know?

MATT: "He does not have friends. He surrounds himself with tools, things to be used, and the minute their use is gone, so are they.

MARISHA: Solidarity can be exploited.

MATT: (amused) "Hmm."

MARISHA: I'm starting to learn he doesn't have many allies.

MATT: "It's funny. Few who spend their time in the Assembly ever do."

MARISHA: Must be exhausting having a life filled with fair-weather friends.

MATT: "Maybe, but it's certainly a path to get things done if you're smart enough."

MARISHA: You should help me more. We made a deal.

MATT: "You should give me more, and I'll help you."

MARISHA: I creep towards the blade on Orym's back.

LAURA: (gasps)

ROBBIE: (surprised gawk)

LAURA: Ooh!

ASHLEY: Goosebumps.

ROBBIE: (groans nervously)

LAURA: You're super perceptive, right?

MARISHA: How asleep is he?

MATT: I mean, he seems asleep. He's been asleep for a few hours.

MARISHA: Mm-hmm. He's been asleep for a few hours?

MATT: Yeah. You do know that he is pretty--

MARISHA: Perceptive?

MATT: -- perceptive and aware of things. (heartbeat pulses)

LAURA: Oh!

TRAVIS: Just got to beat a 15.

MATT: (heartbeat pulses)

MARISHA: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Just got to beat a 15.

MARISHA: I don't think I'm going to beat--

TRAVIS: (whispers) You just got to beat a 15.

MARISHA: I don't pry--

TALIESIN: Ooh.

MARISHA: -- the blade from his back. Is it still enwrapped in the vines on his back? Is he like--

MATT: Yeah. The vines are what hold it to his back.

LIAM: It's like a vine hilt that I tear every time I remove a blade.

TRAVIS: (whispers) 15.

MARISHA: (laughs)

TALIESIN: This is way higher than a 15. (laughter)

TALIESIN: It's way higher.

MARISHA: I'm still crafting, right? So everyone, once again, room party vibes. There's still activity going.

MATT: Well, you said at this point, when everyone else has gone to sleep.

LIAM: You were the last--

MARISHA: Everyone is asleep, but I'm--

TALIESIN: Yeah.

MARISHA: -- still doing last-minute stuff.

MATT: Yeah. Of everyone here, you're the one who needs sleep the least--

ASHLEY: Last one up at the slumber party.

MARISHA: Last one up at the slumber party.

MATT: -- in general. Yeah.

TRAVIS: (whispering) It's actually a 16.

MARISHA: There's still--

MARISHA and LIAM: (laugh)

MATT: There's just all your little--

MARISHA: Little things.

MATT: -- all your little things helping out and putting together.

MARISHA: Little noise.

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: Little, you know.

ASHLEY: ♪ Whistle while you work ♪

MARISHA: Yeah, last one to sleep.

TRAVIS: (whispers) 16 and a half.

MARISHA: Shut up! (laughter)

MARISHA: I don't pry it, but I do do a little--

ASHLEY: Touchy, touchy.

MARISHA: Yeah. I just run my finger along the blade.

TRAVIS: A little spider crawl with your fingers?

MARISHA: Yes.

TRAVIS: Ooh.

MATT: You run your finger along--

MARISHA: For anyone who would probably be seeing this, not that anyone is, it probably looks f*cking insane.

LAURA: Yeah.

MATT: Yeah, you were like--

MARISHA: I'm over his body.

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: It's like a spider--

MARISHA: Caressing the blade.

MATT: -- over a fly that it's bound in its web.

MARISHA: Yeah.

LIAM: Uh-huh, little fly.

TALIESIN: ♪ I've got to ♪ (bass beat pulsing) ♪ Run away ♪

MATT: So the blade is covered by the vines, but there are parts of the hilt that you can touch freely. As you run your finger over it, where your finger runs along it, you see this faint trail of purple, like a blade that had been heated, but it's a purple hue instead of an orange, and it fades slowly after. It hums with power, with history, with lives lost and blood spilled. This blade was made long before Otohan wielded it.

LIAM: Sick.

MARISHA: Tell me, is it sentient?

MATT: "You have to wield it for me to know."

ROBBIE: Must wield it.

MARISHA: I try and grip it a little stronger without removing it.

MATT: Okay. Make a sleight of hand check--

TRAVIS: 16 and 1/2.

MATT: -- with advantage. (laughter)

MARISHA: With what?

TRAVIS: (whispering) 16.

MATT: I'll say, actually no. You'd be sleeping, so you're at disadvantage so it's half your passive perception.

LIAM: For Fearne, you just used half of my passive perception.

MATT: That's what I'm saying, yeah. So half your passive perception.

LIAM: Which is 33.

MATT: No, half your passive perception.

LIAM: I know. The full is 33.

MATT: Yeah, yeah.

LIAM: Halved.

MATT: So 33 halved to--

TRAVIS: 16 and 1/2.

MATT: 16, right?

MARISHA: 16 and 1/2.

TALIESIN: Yes.

LAURA: His passive is 33.

ROBBIE: (laughs)

TALIESIN: Right?

MATT: So, if you wanted to roll a sleight of hand check.

ASHLEY: Okay, I just had to make sure.

MATT: You just have to beat a 16.

TALIESIN: It's insane, right?

LAURA: You just had to double check his--

MARISHA: I need to roll a 10.

LAURA: My passive perception is 11.

TRAVIS: You got a plus six?

LIAM: Vex had a very high passive perception.

LAURA: I know, yeah.

ASHLEY: That's so high.

TALIESIN: Mine too.

ROBBIE: That's crazy.

ASHLEY: That's crazy.

TRAVIS: You can roll higher than a 10.

MARISHA: I can roll higher than a 10.

LIAM: You can do it.

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: I'm just wondering if I can stack the deck--

LAURA: You got this.

TRAVIS: You can roll higher than--

MARISHA: -- even more in my favor.

TRAVIS: Oh.

MARISHA: His perception-- Here's what I'm going to do.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Before I do this.

LAURA: Here's what I'm going to do.

TRAVIS: (excited) Mm!

MARISHA: Nothing beats a good solid night's sleep with some blackout curtains. I'm going to cast Darkness on the room.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Magical Darkness.

TALIESIN: Oh my god, you f*cking beast!

MATT: The room fills to complete umbra.

TRAVIS: Now we're getting serious!

MARISHA: I can see through it. Does that help my odds?

MATT: You are the only one. This is a touch-based perception. It is attached to his back. So this is whether or not you could try and grasp the blade and manipulate it without him feeling it. So the Darkness doesn't aid that, but it might aid should anything ensue afterward.

ROBBIE: Do it.

LAURA: (laughs)

MARISHA: It has to be physical? It can't be Mage Hand?

MATT: I mean, you can try and Mage Hand it. But you then have to wield it after.

TRAVIS: Oops.

MARISHA: When you say-- (laughs)

LAURA and MATT: (laugh)

MARISHA: When you say "wield," I've got to remove it from his person.

MATT: Right, and hold it in your hand.

TRAVIS: Put it in his body.

MATT: It would be the equivalent of how you have to spend an hour to sit with an item to attune with it or understand it truly. Not that long, but the same kind of, you have to have the weapon to understand it.

MARISHA: It's entwined with these vines.

MATT: The vines have built a sheath around it, and I imagine--

MARISHA: A sheath.

MATT: -- wrapped over the hilt as well.

LIAM: Yeah, it's not slide out-able. It's, break glass in an emergency kind of thing so it was all spidered--

MATT: Yeah, it'll snap the vines to pull it free.

LIAM: -- over the hilt and all down the blade.

TALIESIN: You have to prune.

MATT: Now, mind you--

LIAM: The pommel.

MATT: -- if the vines are withered--

MARISHA: So, you-- Don't steal my idea!

MATT: I know, I know, I know! I knew where you were going.

MARISHA: You knew where I was going.

MATT: No, I knew where you were going. (laughter)

MATT: I knew exactly where you were going.

MARISHA: I--

ROBBIE: You can't wield it.

MARISHA: -- take my spindly hands and the back of my fingers--

TRAVIS: (dry creaking)

MARISHA: -- and I run it almost like an X-ACTO knife, like the sharpest blade, down the vines and cast Wither and Bloom on the vines.

ASHLEY: That's f*cking cool.

MARISHA: Sorry.

TRAVIS: Now we're talking.

ASHLEY: Let's go, bish.

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: Go ahead and roll damage for Wither and Bloom.

TALIESIN: Oh my god!

MARISHA: Just for the vines.

MATT: I know.

LAURA: Don't let anything happen before I get back.

ASHLEY: Okay, okay, okay. I won't let anything happen.

MATT: So this would be you essentially casting--

TRAVIS: (dark) Not just the vines!

MARISHA: Shut up, f*cking Willingham!

TALIESIN: I love--

MARISHA: Shut up!

TALIESIN: -- everything this is!

ROBBIE: Do it!

ASHLEY: ♪ Do it, do it, do it ♪

MARISHA and ASHLEY: ♪ Do it, do it, do it ♪

MARISHA: Five.

MATT: Okay. So, Wither and Bloom is a radius from a point in space.

MARISHA: Mm-hmm, 10 feet.

MATT: So yeah. So you will be essentially maneuvering it--

MARISHA: To the top.

MATT: -- to the top to come down and catch the bottom at an angle. This is going to be a challenging incision.

LIAM: It's like this much.

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: Yeah, so I just need--

LIAM: This much--

MARISHA: I just need the--

LIAM: -- to not hit me.

MATT: So--

MARISHA: Uh-huh.

LIAM: But hit the vine.

MATT: Correct.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: So what I would like you to do--

LIAM: (chuckles)

MARISHA: You know what, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on.

MATT: (laughs)

ROBBIE: The bargaining!

MARISHA: Well, I've already done it, huh?

MATT: Yeah.

MARISHA: I can't backtrack. Nevermind.

MATT: So roll--

LIAM: This is the best.

MATT: Roll an arcana check for me.

MARISHA: Because I could have theoretically Blighted them. An arcana check?

MATT: Yes.

MARISHA: Okay.

MATT: You could have Blighted them, but we're here now.

MARISHA: I could've Blight. I should've Blighted them.

MATT: It's okay.

ROBBIE: (exhales nervously)

ASHLEY: This is stressful.

ROBBIE: Yes.

ASHLEY: I love it.

MARISHA: It's okay. 11.

MATT: The first thing that catches your attention, Orym--

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: -- is the feeling of air being pulled from your lungs and this burning sensation along your back and shoulders. You come to consciousness to blindness. What do you do?

LIAM: Am I damaged?

MATT: You take five points of necrotic damage?

MARISHA: sh*t! I should have f*cking Blighted those damn f*cking vines.

LIAM: So I'm feeling both dark, strange pain.

MATT: Correct, and then you come to consciousness and shoot awake and see nothing.

LIAM: Do I feel the weight of a body of a large spider-like woman pressing on me?

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MATT: There's no pressing on you.

MARISHA: I wasn't touching you.

LIAM: So no.

LAURA: "I wasn't touching you!"

MATT: Of course, you see him shoot awake.

MARISHA: I'm not touching you.

ASHLEY: I'm not touching you.

TRAVIS: Yeah--

LIAM: Then I would spin up onto my legs as I pulled Seedling out and I would do a full circle with the blade.

MATT: Okay.

TRAVIS: (sharp groan)

ROBBIE: (agonized groans) (laughter)

MARISHA: You got Chet. (laughter)

TRAVIS: Why did I decide to spoon?

MATT: All right. (laughter)

MATT: What are you doing, Laudna?

TRAVIS: Never again!

LAURA: (laughs) Roll your d100.

MATT: You see him shoot awake and then, while you're loomed over--

MARISHA: I Spider Climb and climb to the ceiling.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: I mean, I wouldn't wait. It would be, (slashes) as soon as I felt like I was--

ASHLEY: No.

LIAM: -- being drained.

MATT: Here's what I'll do.

LIAM: Yeah.

MATT: Because this is also realization, the moment it takes, because you wake up with the pain and then it takes a moment to realize that you're blind and then go into that motion. While she sees you even coming to consciousness.

MARISHA: The moment he stirs.

MATT: So I'm going to have this be a contested dexterity roll from each of you.

MARISHA: Well, I mean--

MATT: So roll a d20 and add your dexterity modifier.

MARISHA: He's going to be better.

TALIESIN: Yeah.

LIAM: Just add the modifier.

MATT: Just the modifier.

LIAM: It's not a save.

MATT: Correct.

MARISHA: (groans)

LIAM: So I rolled a 19.

MARISHA: 10 total.

MATT: A 19.

LAURA: Whoa!

MATT: Go ahead and roll an attack and damage.

LIAM: So I'm rolling to hit still, yeah?

MATT: You are. This is to see if the blade catches up before she can leave.

MARISHA: He's in Darkness though, too.

MATT: Right, so disadvantage on the strike.

LIAM: Okay. Okay, so that is 17 to hit.

MARISHA: Shield.

MATT: So you strike outward into nowhere, and your blade (thunks) hits something, but it scrapes off of it, like you hit a stone wall or something.

LIAM: As soon as I feel that, then (quick slashes) with the second two attacks on my attack action.

MATT: Make two more attacks at disadvantage.

MARISHA: But I Spider Climb, Spider Climb.

MATT: I understand. He's pursuing you as you're pulling away at the same speed. You're both essentially--

LIAM: So 21 for the second.

MATT: What's your AC with Shield?

MARISHA: 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19.

MATT: 19, so that's one hit.

MARISHA: Okay.

LIAM: So 21, 22. I would unload all-- Once I feel someone f*cking with me even further I would press both, so 21, 22. That means attack two and three hit.

MATT: Correct, so roll damage for each of those.

LIAM: (sighs) I will make the-- I'll make it a pushing attack. So that's five plus six is 12 plus... So that's 18 points of damage for the first, and you have to make a strength save against--

MATT: Or be pushed back 10 feet.

LIAM: Ugh. Later. No, I don't want to update the software!

LAURA: (laughs) Oh no! (laughter)

MARISHA: Oh, no. I fully fail.

ASHLEY: Now?!

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: So, one heavy swipe catches you and sends you flying back 10 feet (crash) into the wall. A loud impact of wood, which starts to rustle all of you from your slumber. And all of you can't see. Your next attack.

LIAM: That's attack two. I hear my opponent smack the wall, so then I make the third attack, I slice the air and the force goes out from Seedling. Six there, and that's five plus six. 12. We'll just call it there. I'm not going to add a superiority die to it. So that's another 12 points of damage.

MATT: Another 12 points of damage to you. I need you to make two concentration checks for me, Laudna.

MARISHA: For what?

TRAVIS: Darkness.

MATT: For maintaining Darkness.

LIAM: Darkness.

MARISHA: Hmm, okay. That's fine.

MATT: First attack was 17 damage?

MARISHA: That's easy enough.

ROBBIE: She's getting away with it!

LIAM: It was high teens.

MARISHA: Yes.

ROBBIE: Yes!

MARISHA: Yes, it's got to be over 10, right?

MATT: Correct, yep.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Okay, with my modifier.

MATT: So the strikes--

LIAM: So Darkness stays.

MATT: -- go through, you heard the impact. You still can't see anything.

LIAM: Okay.

MARISHA: Now skitter, skitter, skitter, skitter to the roof.

TALIESIN: I am up.

MATT: Is that the end of your--

LIAM: That's it, yeah.

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: Yeah, that's it. I'm just holding my ground.

TALIESIN: I am--

MATT: You hear a shifting of movement.

TALIESIN: Hop up.

MATT: With your passive perception, because it's really high and you're conscious, you can gauge the sound of movement and skittering at an angle upward.

LAURA: Are we awake?

MATT: The rest of you are starting to come to consciousness.

MARISHA: I Mage Hand--

LAURA: Laudna?

MARISHA: Mage Hand the sword.

MATT: Okay. So you use your action to cast a Mage Hand.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: I need you to make a-- Roll a d20 and add your spellcasting modifier. This is to beat the strength of the vines holding it to his back.

MARISHA: Wouldn't the vines have also hit the Blight, though?

MATT: Yeah. The vine, she's just pulling--

MARISHA: Yeah, the vines are gone.

MATT: Yeah, just go ahead and roll. The vines aren't gone, they're just withered.

MARISHA: Okay. Spell attack or spell--

MATT: Just add your charisma modifier.

MARISHA: Okay. 16.

MATT: Easily enough.

MARISHA: Yeah.

MATT: In the shadow, as you do the strikes there and you parry, you hear the sound going. All of sudden, you feel the blade dislodge from your back.

ASHLEY: Oh my god.

ROBBIE: (gasps) That's good.

MATT: So you, and you pull it toward you?

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

ASHLEY: Oh my god.

MATT: You have it your grasp.

LAURA: (gasps)

ASHLEY: Oh my god.

ROBBIE: Yeah.

MARISHA: I say in my head: Tell me!

MATT: "Yes."

LAURA and ROBBIE: (gasp)

MATT: "It must be destroyed. Can I?"

MARISHA: This'll protect Orym. (gasping)

LIAM: I think that's six seconds. By now, I would attack again.

MATT: Yeah, go for it.

LIAM: Still is at disadvantage, right?

MATT: Correct because you still can't see.

LIAM: Okay, so that is 19 to hit.

MARISHA: f*ck this sword.

ASHLEY: Yeah, f*ck the sword.

MARISHA: f*ck this.

TALIESIN: That would miss, I think.

LIAM: I don't know. If Shield lasts one round, so--

MATT: Shield lasts for one round, yeah.

ROBBIE: Orym's going to be mad at you.

LIAM: I'm giving you the option to cast Shield, if you want. I got a 19 to hit.

MARISHA: I'm on the ceiling. He's--

MATT: Right.

LIAM: I can send a slash through the air.

MATT: Yeah, Seedling can shoot air blades out for 15 feet.

MARISHA: What did you roll?

TRAVIS: Is it a cone--

LIAM: 19.

MATT: -- or is it a line?

MARISHA: 19 is my AC.

MATT: It's a line. It's just a single-- What's that?

MARISHA: 19's my AC, so no. I take it.

MATT: Okay.

MARISHA: Actually, hang on. Wait. Well, you're already moving.

LIAM: Okay, so let's make it a trip attack. Six, 13--

LAURA: Oh!

TALIESIN: That'll work?

MATT: He can.

LIAM: 10, 22 damage, and you have to make--

MATT: 22 points of damage.

LIAM: -- a strength save or fall prone.

MARISHA: How does that work with Spider Climb? I'm on the ceiling.

MATT: In this instance--

MARISHA: Can't trip me, I'm on the ceiling.

MATT: Well, just tripping is knocking your feet off of the floor, off the ground, knocking your feet off the ceiling would still cause you to fall.

LAURA: Hmm.

MARISHA: I don't know if I agree with that. (laughter)

MARISHA: Oh, that's actually pretty good. It's probably still not good enough, though. 14.

MATT: 14.

LIAM: No, fail.

MATT: Given the fact that Spider Climb is an adhesive-type scenario, I would reduce the DC of that, given this instance, of the trip attack, to situate for that. So what's the DC on it?

LIAM: 18.

MATT: 18? Ah, I think she probably stays with the trip attack for this one, given the Spider Climb--

MARISHA: But GM's rules, GM's rules, but--

MATT: I know, well, the only thing is, the Spider Climb is like a magical adhesive--

LIAM: Okay, that's fine.

MATT: -- it holds her there. But that's still 22 points of damage. I need you to make a constitution saving throw.

MARISHA: Okay. Ooh. Wait, plus--

MATT: Constitution saving throw.

MARISHA: -- my constitution. No, fails.

LAURA: (gasps)

MATT: (whooshes) The Darkness vanishes.

ASHLEY: (gasps)

MATT: As you all are grabbing your equipment and getting out of bed and you're--

ROBBIE: Ah!

MATT: -- looking around, Orym, you're getting ready to do your ninja strike.

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: You look up and you see up in the corner crouched--

LAURA: (laughs) I love it.

MATT: -- climbing across the ceiling, skittering, Laudna, eyes wide and black, you see her clutching in her hand Ishta.

LIAM: I have seen her look hungry over enemies before, and I will switch to bonus action, and from Seedling send out a Grasping Vine to Ishta to pull it back to me.

MARISHA: You bitch.

MATT: Okay. (nervous laughter)

MATT: So--

MARISHA: You bitch. (laughs)

LAURA: (laughs)

LIAM: Who's a bitch? (laughter) (cheering)

MATT: Okay, so--

MARISHA: Oh my god.

ROBBIE: But we're friends.

LAURA: (laughs)

LAURA: Buddies!

TRAVIS: We've been crafting! (laughter)

MATT: What's the DC on the vine from the? (laughter)

LIAM: Yeah, I'm going to look.

ROBBIE: That was my Mod Podge! (laughter)

TALIESIN: (scary voice) Get your own goddam one.

LIAM: 14.

LAURA: (laughs)

MATT: 14, all right.

MARISHA: Grasping Vine is a spell, correct?

LIAM: Mm-hmm.

MATT: It is.

MARISHA: Counterspell.

ASHLEY: Aw, sh*t.

TALIESIN: (laughs)

ASHLEY: Oh sh*t!

MATT: Your vine strikes out from the blade, and then halfway through the air, just (whooshes) turns to ash.

ASHLEY: Oh, cool.

TALIESIN: Ah.

MARISHA: There's a door slash window here?

MATT: There is.

MARISHA: I have Mage Hand open the door. Or the window. What's easier?

MATT: From where you are now, they're both equidistant.

LIAM: My turn's not done yet.

MATT: Correct.

MARISHA: Okay.

LIAM: I imagine, even though I only used one of three, I think switching to bonus action expends the following two attacks, I would assume.

MATT: No, you can divvy up the attacks between maneuvering.

MARISHA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: I love it.

LIAM: Good to know. I then spring off the ground and swing Seedling at the sword. No longer at disadvantage.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

LIAM: That's a 25 to hit, disarming attack.

MATT: Okay, roll damage on that.

LIAM: 22.

ASHLEY: Oof!

MATT: 22 points of slashing damage to you.

MARISHA: Okay.

LIAM: You have to make a strength save again to hold the blade.

MARISHA: That's not my thing.

ASHLEY: This is a nat 20.

MARISHA: That's not my thing.

ROBBIE: It's stressing me out.

MARISHA: Got to be a nat 20. No, negative.

ROBBIE: (sighs)

MATT: (whooshes) The blade (whooshes) (vibrates) sticks into the wall over by the window.

LIAM: Action Surge, kick off the wall towards the blade. Grasp it, yank it out, pick up and roll, and hold it aimed at Laudna. Just breathing hard, I don't know what the f*ck is going on, but I got my sword back.

MATT: Okay. So using the Action Surge to go into a dash action, you rush back and pick up the object as part of the pick up object action at the end of your turn. Now, holding Ishta in your hand, the rest of the room now come to consciousness.

ASHLEY: Whoa, whoa.

MATT: You see Orym, blade in hand, faced up towards Laudna, who is on the ceiling, as they both stare breathing.

MARISHA: My turn?

MATT: Yeah, I mean, if anybody else wants to jump in on this, but--

LAURA: What's happening?

MARISHA: I drop down.

MATT: (whooshes) From the ceiling, which is awesome. (laughs)

ASHLEY: That's so cool.

MARISHA: I cast Phantasmal Force on Orym.

ASHLEY: (gasps)

MATT: Okay.

ASHLEY: What?

ROBBIE: Phantasmal Force.

TALIESIN: Oooh.

MATT: So, Orym--

LIAM: Okay.

MATT: I need you--

ASHLEY: What is this?

MATT: -- to make an intelligence saving throw for me, please.

LIAM: Okay, is this versus being frightened?

MARISHA: No.

MATT: No.

LIAM: No, okay.

ASHLEY: ("tune of The Next Episode") ♪ Laudi-dadi-da ♪ (laughter)

LIAM: This is a save?

MARISHA: Yeah.

LIAM: 20.

ROBBIE: Oh.

MARISHA: Okay, he saves.

MATT: Yeah.

LIAM: (grunts)

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: You want to tell me what the f*ck is going on?

MARISHA: You're not safe.

LIAM: I don't feel very safe.

MARISHA: That sword will corrupt you, just like it corrupted Otohan.

LIAM: Excuse me? Get involved, anybody, at any time.

MARISHA: I'm trying--

LAURA: Laudna, what makes you think that?

MARISHA: I sensed it.

LAURA: You sensed it?

MARISHA: It's an evil presence.

ASHLEY: You sensed it, or--?

MARISHA: I sensed it.

LAURA: Well, then, Orym, put the sword down.

ASHLEY: Why are you attacking her?

MARISHA: Why are you holding it? The audacity of you walking into this room holding that blade, wielding that blade. It should be cast into the depths of the Lucidian Ocean, and you want to wield it.

LIAM: I'm going to need a little more clarification than that, Laudna.

MARISHA: What more clarification do you need? I am telling you, it is a cursed sword. You saw your husband speared upon it, you saw me speared upon it, and you think wielding it is the correct choice to make.

LIAM: I think putting it through the gut of the man who caused every single thing you just cited happen makes sense to me.

MARISHA: Why do you need it? You have Seedling. You're perfectly well equipped.

LIAM: You're right.

MARISHA: Why do you want it?

LIAM: (snapping sounds) It vines back on my back. Why do I need the help of some dark force?

ROBBIE: This is starting to feel a little hurtful. Can we just take a minute here, please?

LAURA: Orym, if Laudna says that it's a corrupted sword, maybe it's not safe to carry it.

LIAM: I can be convinced--

LAURA: Let's have somebody look at it.

LIAM: -- but I need convincing.

LAURA: Somebody that can Identify it. Maybe Essek can do it, maybe we can go back to Pumat.

LIAM: You know what's not very convincing? Is being attacked in the middle of the night.

MARISHA: I didn't attack you.

LIAM: Pulls down his shirt and there is a black bruise from the spell that she cast on him.

MARISHA: It was a mere incidental-- I was trying to remove it from your sheath.

LAURA: Did you attack him?

MARISHA: No, I attacked his sheath.

ROBBIE: He's wearing the sheath.

LIAM: You missed.

MARISHA: I was withering the vines to remove it. Trust me, I was trying to remove it from the vines.

TALIESIN: I'm going to gently walk over to Laudna. I'm going to gently put my hands on your shoulders--

MARISHA: What are you doing?

TALIESIN: -- and I'm going lean into your ear. Start with I'm sorry and I let go. I stand just to the side, but in front of you, and I let my eyes go off of you. I am going to be taking clearly a defensive stance for you from him, but I just wanted to put that in your ear. Start with I'm sorry.

MARISHA: You want me to apologize?

TALIESIN: For hurting him. Nothing more, nothing else. Everything else is on the table.

LIAM: I'm fine to be wrong, but let's just talk about it. Let's let that be the opening gambit.

MARISHA: I didn't mean to hurt you, that's the truth. That is the truth. But I find it to be quite a mockery and a slap in the face that you walk in with it on your back without any consultation with the rest of us.

LIAM: (sighs)

ASHLEY: May I?

LAURA: Maybe you can give me the sword.

ASHLEY: FCG taught me how to Identify it, so I can--

LAURA: You know how to do it?

ASHLEY: Yeah, I do.

LAURA: That's great. You'd be able to tell.

MARISHA: Please do.

LIAM: I will place it on a table, in the room, next to Fearne.

ASHLEY: You want me to do this?

LIAM: Of course.

ASHLEY: Laudna?

LIAM: I don't need to be right, I need us to be able to work together.

LAURA: I'm going to go stand next to Laudna, behind her just a little bit.

MARISHA: I lean into Imogen for contact and support.

LAURA: I hold her--

TALIESIN: I stay the other side.

LAURA: -- shoulder. I'm going to cast Detect Thoughts on Laudna.

TALIESIN: Ooh.

MARISHA: I sense that, correct?

LAURA: Not yet.

MATT: Well, no, surface thoughts.

MARISHA: Not yet?

MATT: Surface thoughts, no.

MARISHA: Until she pushes?

MATT: Do you want to share with Imogen the quick and dirty surface thoughts that are on Laudna's mind?

MARISHA: Yeah. Laudna feels 100% justified.

LAURA: This seems a little out of character, Laudna. You know you can always talk to us, you don't have to do things in secret.

MARISHA: Time felt of the essence.

LAURA: Do I sense anything? Can I insight check?

MATT: Sure, make an insight check. Do I get it at advantage because I Detected Thoughts?

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: This instance, what are you trying to read for? Then no.

LAURA: (sighs) Okay. 21.

ROBBIE: (gasps)

LAURA: Yes.

ASHLEY: Aw.

TALIESIN: sh*t just got real.

TRAVIS: (snores) (laughter)

TRAVIS: (snores)

ASHLEY: Chet's just out.

LIAM: This whisper is brought to you by friends pushing the limit.

MARISHA: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Nothing like the sleep on vino.

MARISHA: (laughs) Oh, so you're asleep this whole time?

TALIESIN: I like, this whole thing, you just keep hearing sleep apnea happening in the corner. (laughter) (horrible snores)

MARISHA: Oh my god.

ROBBIE: Oh my god.

LAURA: In your head, you hear: Was this all you, Laudna?

MARISHA: I acted on my own volition. I take responsibility.

LAURA: Okay.

MATT: Fearne, what are you doing?

ASHLEY: All right, I'm going to walk over to the table.

MARISHA: (laughs)

ASHLEY: I don't want to touch this sword. I never wanted to touch this sword. I hate this sword. But I'm going to pick it up--

LAURA: And run.

ASHLEY: -- and run out of the room! (laughter)

MATT: Bye, suckers!

TALIESIN: Be free, be free.

ASHLEY: It's mine.

MATT: (smashes)

MATT: Though the window. (laughter)

LAURA: Capture the flag. (laughter)

ASHLEY: I'm going to gingerly pick it up-- and look at Orym and Laudna and--

MARISHA: On Orym? Yeah. By accident, but yeah, I didn't mean to.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

MARISHA: I legitimately didn't mean to. Should've f*cking cast Blight, it's more direct. We wouldn't be here right now.

MATT: Blight would've done it.

MARISHA: Blight would've been better.

ASHLEY: Blight would've done it.

MATT: It's all good. But now it's interesting.

MARISHA: I forgot that f*cking Wither and Bloom is a sphere.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I'll just pick it up. I'm going to look at Imogen, and cast Identify.

MATT: Okay, you're casting it. Is that one of the spells you took with your with your--?

ASHLEY: With rogue.

MATT: Rogue? Yeah, hell yeah, okay.

TALIESIN: Oh man.

MATT: Indeed this is Ishta, the Summit Blade, a legendary saber.

ROBBIE: (gasps) ♪ Bom, bah, dah, ♪ bom, bom, boo, boo ♪

MATT: You can feel within it a long history of death at its edge. It is a bloody blade. The very edge of its darkened metal is almost stained or rusty red. You're uncertain if that's by design or if it's just clung onto the generations and generations of life it's cleaved down. It's a dark blade.

ASHLEY: Can I tell from that if it feels like there's a sentience to it?

MATT: You don't sense any sentience from the blade, you just sense the history.

ASHLEY: Okay.

TALIESIN: There's a whole bunch of information that wouldn't show up, too.

ASHLEY: Yeah.

LAURA: Yeah.

ASHLEY: So that might be somebody else.

TRAVIS: Chet sleepwalks to the middle of the room and uses Grim Psychometry. (laughter)

MATT: Did you sleep through all this?

MARISHA: Yes, yes.

TRAVIS: (snores) (laughter)

LIAM: Oh man, the tense moments punctuated by (snores). (laughter)

ASHLEY: Well, I-- This--

TRAVIS: Yeah.

LAURA: (laughs) Hello, Feathered-Face. (laughter)

ASHLEY: I mean, this blade feels very dark. I can't tell if there's any-- This is a history of very, taking a lot of lives. It's very sad. I don't know what else to say.

TALIESIN: I'd be curious what Chet had to say about it. I would think that.

ASHLEY: I'm going to go over to Chet.

TALIESIN: Yeah, you wake him up, he'll perk right up.

ASHLEY: Kick him with my hoof. Hey, wake up!

TRAVIS: What? (coughs) Who kicked me?

ASHLEY: Me. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Wake up.

TRAVIS: What time is it?

ASHLEY: It's not time to get up yet.

TRAVIS: Are we leaving?

ASHLEY: Just for a minute. No, no, no, no, no. There's a little bit of a problem, little bit of an issue. Can you look at this?

LAURA: Use that thing you have, use that thing you have, Chet.

ASHLEY: The thing where you see geometry and stuff. (laughter)

ASHLEY: "Beautiful Mind" it, please.

TRAVIS: I take it.

LIAM: I took Psychometry 2 when I was little.

TRAVIS: Oh, you're real.

LAURA: I thought he just poked your boob. (laughter)

LAURA: That's payment.

TRAVIS: What the?

ASHLEY: I'm here. I'm here.

TRAVIS: Okay, just checking.

ASHLEY: Still squishy. (laughter)

TRAVIS: (snores)

LAURA: No, wake up, Chet.

ASHLEY: Wake up! Wake up! (laughter)

TALIESIN: Kick him in the ass again if you have to.

ASHLEY: I kick him again. Get up!

TRAVIS: Ow! All right. (not quite snores)

ASHLEY: Chet.

TRAVIS: I cast Grim Psychometry.

MATT: Okay, so roll your history check, I think is?

TRAVIS: Yes.

TALIESIN: (laughs)

TRAVIS: With advantage?

MATT: Only if it's relating to fiends, fey or undead, which it's not, so just a straight roll.

TRAVIS: That is a--

ASHLEY: That's a mean blade.

TRAVIS: -- 17.

MATT: A 17.

TALIESIN: Clearly personal.

MATT: You grasp the blade in your hand and you see flashes of sparks of the hammer shaping it. and you see flashes of sparks of the hammer shaping it. You see the one finishing its blade edge with a whetstone, meticulously crafting it. They hold up the blade to inspect it and smile as they're run through and the person behind them grasps it, the one who asked to be made.

LAURA: Uh, dick.

MATT: You then see flashes. One, two, three, 10, 20, 50. One, two, three, 10, 20, 50. Life after life after life being cut down. Soldiers of different historical armors. Every facial expression, that moment of facing one's mortality before their life's thread of fate (snaps) cut thin. Splashes of blood. You see different hands grasping it, hearing laughter and joyous bloodlust. You see now gauntleted hands holding it, stoic warriors and large-scale wars tearing through line after line of warriors. You now see the hand of a black leather-wrapped assassin leaping from rooftop to rooftop, cutting the throats of mothers, of children. You see now another point in time. You see someone walking into a throne room. You see an audience with someone of importance. Their getup, an aesthetic feeling wealthy. A guild head or possible royalty. Within a flash, the blade is through their throat, the sound of their head smacking wetly on the floor next to you. You feel hundreds of lives lost in a matter of seconds. As those flashes continue through, it begins to slow down and you feel people wandering through hallways. You see the edge of Zephrah. You see Zephran soldiers being cut down left and right. You see the blade sinking itself into Keyleth, but her blasting back. You see the blade carving through Fearne, through Orym, through Laudna. You see the blade carving through all of you, and you, you live in a matter of seconds the dozens of lives that were ended by this and you come back to consciousness. A murderous history. Long. That's it.

TRAVIS: (retches) (laughter)

TALIESIN: Whoa, whoa, whoa.

MARISHA: Oh, not the-- (laughter) (laughter)

TALIESIN: Next time, you're doing it in the f*cking bathtub.

ROBBIE: That's so funny.

LIAM: Put on the bloody bib. That'll make you feel better.

TRAVIS: There you go.

ASHLEY: I'm going to put it back down.

LAURA: Wait, no, Chet.

TRAVIS: (snores)

ASHLEY: (shouts) Chet! (laughter)

ASHLEY: I kick him again.

LAURA: Chet.

ASHLEY: Stay up.

TRAVIS: What?

ASHLEY: What?

TRAVIS: That was horrible. That was the longest one yet. I'm getting so much better at it. I guess my power's grown.

ASHLEY: Don't you close your eyes.

TRAVIS: What?

ASHLEY: What'd you see?

TRAVIS: That blade is just death. All it's ever known is death, and pain and suffering and so many lives indiscriminate. We all fell to it, Keyleth. It's horrible, but there's no, what'd you call it? Sentient?

MARISHA: I wasn't lying.

ASHLEY: I just didn't know if it had like a life.

MARISHA: It's cursed.

TRAVIS: It might be cursed. It's certainly really good at what it does and f*cking hell, that was-- Anybody got crackers?

LAURA: I still got some steamed vegetables from earlier. (laughter)

ASHLEY: Some steamed broccoli, it'll be real good.

LAURA: Yeah. No?

ASHLEY: Little okra.

TRAVIS: I'm not sleeping. I'm just listening.

MATT: (laughs)

TALIESIN: Well.

ASHLEY: Well, it certainly caused quite a rift already in the group. I don't know.

TRAVIS: Well, now that I'm awake, what's the rift?

LAURA: Oh, Laudna tried to steal it from Orym because she said it's cursed and needs to be taken away and it's a terrible f*cking blade. And Orym was wearing it.

TALIESIN: I get why.

LAURA: I guess you attacked him in his sleep.

MARISHA: I didn't mean to hurt him.

LAURA: Accidentally.

MARISHA: It was dark.

LAURA: It was very dark, Laudna.

MARISHA: I was careless.

ASHLEY: Yeah, I woke up. I couldn't even see anything. It was like when you close your eyes and then you open them and it's like the same thing.

MARISHA: I use Mage Hand to crack the window.

LIAM: Chet, you got an apron that never stops bleeding blood.

LIAM: Chet, you got an apron that never stops bleeding blood. Laudna, I don't even really need to touch on the weight you carry. I've already made a deal with Fearne's grandmother to help us do the things that we have to do.

MARISHA: Then give it to me. I will take it in and then destroy it. I was felled by this blade.

LIAM: So was I.

TRAVIS: I walk over and f*cking close the drafty-ass window.

MATT: (laughs)

LAURA: What do you mean take it in? What do you mean take it in and destroy it? You mean use the harness?

LIAM: You can do incredible things. All of you can. It was only a handful of hours ago that we were talking about how impossible.

MARISHA: (sharply) Why do you need it?

LIAM: It will be to handle Ludinus. I don't have--

MARISHA: Whether it's in your hands or in my body, what does it matter? We're both fighting Ludinus. If I take it in, it's destroyed.

LAURA: With the harness.

MARISHA: Yes, it ends the cycle.

LAURA: Well, anyone could take it in with the harness.

LIAM: I mean, it sounds like semantics to me, Laudna. You can carry it in energy or I can carry it in my hand.

MARISHA: The blade, let me take it in. Why do you care so much?

LIAM: Does anyone want to tell her why I care so much?

MARISHA: You wield a blade gifted by the voice of the Tempest and you want this wretched thing? It should be destroyed, its energy repurposed.

LIAM: The blade's for my family first. Second, I'm not giving up the blade that my family gave me. I'm saving the other one for him. I'm 3' tall. I'm quick. That's what I got, Laudna. Push-ups. Practice. That's what I got.

MARISHA: I open my blouse and show the wounds that Orym left on me. I left a bruise. You left these gashes. Do you want to have this debate?

LIAM: (sighs) I woke up in the middle of the night in darkness being poisoned.

MARISHA: I already apologized for that. I open the window.

MATT: (muffled impact)

TRAVIS: What the f*ck?

LIAM: I'm sorry I hurt you. I was acting on instinct.

MARISHA: As was I.

TALIESIN: I think quietly: Imogen, tell Fearne to stand by the window.

LAURA: I'll say that to you in your head.

ASHLEY: I just walk over to the window.

LAURA: (laughs)

LIAM: My life is not about revenge. It is about making sure that we finish this.

MARISHA: I open the door.

LIAM: If I do it or if you do it. I don't love what you did, Laudna.

MARISHA: I don't love what you did, so we're even.

TRAVIS: Is that the sword on the table?

LIAM: Yeah.

MARISHA: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: I'm going to hold Laudna's hand.

MARISHA: I grip her hand.

ROBBIE: I think you should keep it. It's just a thing. I'm so tired of things having control over us. You two are friends. It was his to possess and you tried to steal it from him.

MARISHA: It was not his to possess.

ROBBIE: It is just a thing. Its history doesn't shape us. Our actions do. Your actions tell me that you do not have enough trust in your friends.

MARISHA: You do not know what you speak.

ROBBIE: I do not.

LAURA: You didn't watch him. You didn't watch Otohan cut down Laudna, or Chet or Orym or Fearne with that blade.

ROBBIE: What would it have mattered if she cut him down with a handaxe or a stick from the street? It was not the thing that did the action. It was the person. It does not matter.

MARISHA: I Mage Hand the sword. (gasping)

ROBBIE: Ah!

LAURA: I'm going to hold it. I'm going to try to pull it away from you.

MATT: What are you--

LIAM: You know, Dorian, you're right.

MARISHA: You tell me.

TALIESIN: Oh.

MARISHA: This is half not me.

MATT: No.

MARISHA: You tell me, Delilah. (laughter)

ASHLEY: sh*t, sh*t, sh*t.

MARISHA: This warlock sh*t is hard. (chuckling)

MATT: Here, make a wisdom saving throw for me.

ASHLEY: (grunts)

TALIESIN: I am ready to move.

ASHLEY: I love this. I love this. I love this.

TRAVIS: That's interesting.

LAURA: Drop it.

ASHLEY: Drop it.

ROBBIE: Stop fighting!

ASHLEY: Leave it.

MARISHA: I'll use this Pâté die.

ROBBIE: Come on.

MARISHA: 18.

MATT: 18. You feel the presence of Delilah's want pushing through you, that hunger, that drive just pushing to your fingertips.

LAURA: Laudna.

MATT: But she does not have control. The choice is yours.

LAURA: Let it go.

MARISHA: Why?

LAURA: Because I don't think it's you that wants this.

MARISHA: She shouldn't be allowed to have it? We're supposed to walk around following Orym with this blade in our vision, a constant reminder of the pain a constant reminder of the pain that we've all suffered from it. Why not destroy it?

LAURA: I don't love it anymore than you do, but I think Dorian's right. It wasn't the sword. It was Otohan.

MARISHA: It's a symbol.

LAURA: I don't understand why you want to take this sword and absorb it if it's so cursed. Why do you want it to be a part of you?

MARISHA: I release my grip.

MATT: Mm.

LAURA: Onto the table.

TRAVIS: Can I make a suggestion? If you look over, just spinning in my fingers is Scream Needle. It's no sword, but maybe it's a half measure? Orym keeps the sword, though. I agree, it's his to do with as he chooses. Laudna, he's lost more than we have, and I trust him. But I also trust you.

MARISHA: Thank you. But do not ever speak to me about loss again. But do not ever speak to me about loss again. And I leave.

MATT: Okay.

LIAM: (sighs)

LAURA: I'm going to follow because I've lost her before in this exact situation.

TRAVIS: (laughs)

MATT: Where are you off to, Laudna?

MARISHA: I still have Spider Climb on.

MATT: Mm-hmm.

MARISHA: I go out the f*cking window.

MATT: Oh, she exits through the window.

TRAVIS: Yeah, why would you use a door when you can use a window?

MATT: Fearne, just so you're aware, Laudna skitters across the ground--

MARISHA: (skitters frantically)

MATT: -- up through and out the window.

ASHLEY: Can I try to-- Can I try to close the window and stop her?

MATT: Sure. You know what? Both of you roll initiative real fast, just the two of you. (laughter)

ROBBIE: Oh my god!

MATT: (laughs fiendishly) I love this sh*t! So tasty!

ASHLEY: (groans) Roll initiative, you said?

MATT: Yes, add your initiative modifier.

ASHLEY: 13.

MARISHA: 21.

ASHLEY: sh*t.

MATT: You go to grab the window, and as you do, (rushing) she skitters out and up the--

LAURA: I'm going to cast Fly and follow her out.

LAURA: All right.

TALIESIN: sh*t!

MATT: You're like, "sh*t!" and then (gusting whoosh) Imogen follows after. You skitter up the side--

ASHLEY: I almost close the window on you.

MATT: -- of the building.

ASHLEY: sh*t, sh*t!

MATT: The moonlight coming down. You scamper up to the rooftop.

MARISHA: What was it, Scream?

TRAVIS: Otohan's dagger.

MARISHA: Oh, it was her dagger. That's right. Okay.

MATT: You climb up to the top of the Lodge of the Eclipse. Here, the light of Catha is still coasting down here in the moonlight. You stand on top and you hold in your hand Scream Needle, the other blade that carved its way through you and your friends.

MARISHA: Form of Dread.

MATT: (transformation begins) Describe to me how your Form of Dread apparates.

MARISHA: It's just Delilah.

ASHLEY: Ugh.

MATT: You fly up. As you float above, you look down. Where Laudna stands up, you see the high collar emerge. You see the pointed shoulders--

ROBBIE: (laughs)

MATT: -- and the dress fall to the ground.

ASHLEY: I love this.

MATT: This energy, dark tendrils swirl off--

ASHLEY: I love this, I love this, I love this.

MATT: -- across the ground.

ROBBIE: God.

MATT: As for a moment, you swear you just see Delilah standing there with the dagger in her hand.

LIAM: Psych.

MATT: Just floating above and looking at her from behind.

LAURA: Laudna.

MARISHA: Take the dagger, I spin it. (thud) Insert it into my chest.

MATT: (slicing impact) The blade strikes in, and as it does, you-- (Imogen whooshing up) Do you pursue? Do you just stay there? What do you do?

LAURA: I watch it happen.

MATT: You watch it happen. As she turns around towards you, the blade in the chest, you do see Laudna's face within clutching the blade there, and where it hits, that--

MARISHA: The glimpses, when you get of Laudna's face is profound sadness.

MATT: (energy pulses) From where the wound of this blade is, you see this purple light (energy pulsing) like a pulse. (energy pulses) A second time. (energy pounds) And now when it emerges, you see tendrils of deep purple energy (crackling) rise out of the wound and grasp the blade. You watch as it (sucking absorption) pulls itself into Laudna's torso. Where it vanishes, you see that remaining twisting tether of purple-ish energy, like tiny fingers trying to grasp and move. As it draws in, (inhales deeply) "(exhales deeply)" you hear an exhale that is not Laudna's.

LAURA: Can I float down?

MATT: Mm-hmm.

LAURA: And stand in front of her?

MATT: Mm.

LAURA: What do I see? Do I still see Delilah's face, or do I see Laudna's face?

MATT: You see Laudna's face up close. It's still Laudna. You see her hair. You see her dress.

MARISHA: Welcome back!

ROBBIE: What's happening? (laughter)

ROBBIE: What the f*ck is happening? (laughter)

ROBBIE: I thought that was going to be shenanigans! (laughter)

ASHLEY: Crafting! (laughter)

LIAM: I think I'll stab myself later. (laughter)

TALIESIN: Best "Family Ties" episode ever.

MATT: Yeah.

TRAVIS: Jeez!

MATT: Where you see Laudna--

ROBBIE: (laughs)

MATT: -- the shadows of her blouse,

MATT: -- the shadows of her blouse, of her outfit drift into the outline of Delilah. of her outfit drift into the outline of Delilah. The collar is still somewhat translucent, but it is present. You see almost a shadow You see almost a shadow cast across her body that takes form around her, like she's in a Delilah cage.

LAURA: Can I reach out and put my hands on either side of your face? Why?

MARISHA: Why what?

MATT: (Delilah echo) "Why what?"

LAURA: Why'd you give her more power?

MARISHA: It must be done.

MATT: "It must be done."

LAURA: (sighs sadly)

MARISHA: For you.

MATT: "For you."

MARISHA: For us.

MATT: "For us."

MARISHA: The fate of the world.

MATT: "The fate of the world."

MARISHA: What else do I have to give?

MATT: "What else do I have to give?"

MARISHA: Except for myself.

MATT: "Except for myself."

LAURA: You didn't have to do this. We fought so hard. I love you.

MARISHA: I love you.

MATT: The collar folds away.

TRAVIS: Oh!

MARISHA: I love you. What makes you think that might have changed? I love you.

MATT: The shadows withdraw.

MARISHA: Why are you looking at me like that?

LAURA: (slow, deep breath)

MARISHA: Do you--

LAURA: She holds more power than you-- Than you led us to believe.

MARISHA: I didn't lie to you. I've never lied to you. I've never lied to you. I love you. Do you still love me?

LAURA: I'll always love you, Laudna. I just don't know what to do with it.

MARISHA: I've always been a lot.

LAURA: Fun scary.

MARISHA: Mm-hmm. Still more fun than scary though, right?

LAURA: Uh-huh.

MARISHA: Yeah?

LAURA: Yeah.

MARISHA: I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it.

LAURA: (sighs softly) I'm going to hug you and hold the back of your head.

MARISHA: I bury my face into her hair.

MATT: Here on the darkened rooftop under the white, pale light of Catha, on the eve before you leave into the unknown frozen waste to the north--

MARISHA: I didn't mean it.

LAURA: I know.

MATT: You hold each other in pain, in love, in concern. That's going to end tonight's episode.

TRAVIS: Oof!

ASHLEY: (heavily) Oh!

MARISHA: Yeah.

TRAVIS: (energy pulsing)

MATT: Yeah. Oh boy!

MARISHA: f*ck, Marisha!

ROBBIE: Whoa! (excited screams)

ASHLEY: Oh boy!

MARISHA: My face is so hot.

MATT: (laughs) I agree.

TRAVIS: (energy pulsing)

ROBBIE: Uh-oh.

TRAVIS: Warlock sh*t.

LAURA: Oy vey.

TRAVIS: Warlock sh*t.

MARISHA: Warlock sh*t's hard.

ASHLEY: sh*t, sh*t, sh*t.

MATT: Yeah, you know what this is like. (laughs)

LAURA: (groans)

TRAVIS: Mm-mm. That'll be-- Yeah.

MARISHA: (sighs heavily)

LIAM: Wow.

LIAM and LAURA: (loud sigh)

MATT: (laughs)

TALIESIN: I just want to go to an alien dungeon. God! (laughter) (laughter)

TALIESIN: (exhausted exhale)

ASHLEY: Oh man.

LIAM: (processing sigh)

MATT: Well, here's a fun bit here.

TALIESIN: What a-- What?

MARISHA: What? What did I get?

MATT: Let me see.

MARISHA: But what did I get? (laughter)

LAURA: That's so f*cked!

LIAM: Are you already wearing the harness, though? Or is that the Delilah thing?

LAURA: No, she f*cking--

TALIESIN: She don't need it.

LAURA: She just--

LIAM: You just fed it to Delilah?

ASHLEY: She just took it in.

LAURA: She was lying! "I never lied to you." She was lying about the harness!

MARISHA: I still maintain-- (flips fan open)

LAURA: I said with the harness.

MARISHA: -- Laudna hasn't lied. It's not Laudna.

LAURA: I said, with the harness? And you were like, "Yeah."

MARISHA: Yeah, that too. I could have sucked it in with the harness.

LAURA: (laughs)

TRAVIS: Oh?

MATT: That's true.

MARISHA: I could've sucked it in with the harness. Not a lie. (laughs)

ASHLEY: (sighs) Oh my god.

MARISHA: That would have been an easier route.

ROBBIE: What an end.

LAURA: Fine lines.

MARISHA: Uh-huh.

TALIESIN: Every day, you remind me how much of a f*cking danger you are to yourself and others. Not Imogen. You. I mean, not you guys.

MARISHA: Yeah, not Laudna, it's just me.

TALIESIN: Just you. Damn!

MATT: That's what it is. All right.

MARISHA: Could've taken it in by the harness. Y'all could've been there for it. It would have been a spectacular show.

TALIESIN: I'm sure it was a lie.

MATT: That's true. Well here.

MARISHA: (laughs)

MATT: I'll go deep into my notes here, but we'll go ahead and end there. We'll pick it up next week.

LAURA: Oh gosh.

TALIESIN: (anxious groan)

ASHLEY: Wow.

MATT: Thank you all so much for joining us. We love you very much, and is it Thursday yet?

TALIESIN: Is it Thursday?

MATT: Good night.

ASHLEY: Woo!

LIAM: Goodbye!